Having some financial trouble and I’m unsure if the money will run out before the next paycheck.
I hope you are able to make the cycle.
My anxiety is particularly bad today. I woke up with my hands shaking and I got so nervous I started to dry heave.
Wow how do you normally deal with that?
I usually distract myself with a YouTube video or a movie. But it’d be nice to have some help with it
Try doing puzzles on Chess.com or playing Tetris. Things that make me think on the fly really help with anxiety attacks.
I posted about distractions earlier in the thread, the most effective distractions for me has been Geoguessr.
I also learned a lot about how the Swedish road network is numbered as I live in Sweden and mostly played the Swedish map.
If you need a free alternative, you can try Geotastic
Would you consider trying a meditation app? A medical professional recently recommended “insight timer”, which has guided meditations and somatic tracking programs and things.
Just a caution, if you do check it out, it will ask you to start a free 7-day trial for their “plus” version, you have to find the “skip” button, and avoid starting the trial so you don’t get charged. I can see how that bit might not be anxiety relieving! But otherwise she had a lot of praise for it. I haven’t tried it myself, but I have it ready to go. I’m in a pretty good place at the moment… I hope I remember it’s there when I need it.
Psoriatic arthritis flared up in my entire body that has made it impossible to sleep or even really exist for the last week and a half.
It would be awesome to just not hurt for a few hours.
I know nothing about psoriatic arthritis but I do know a little about joint inflammation. I read about how an imbalance of omega fatty acids can cause inflammation and after taking a fish oil pill most of the pain went away in my knees. Would that be something you could try?
Diet changes are one of the major things I’ve been working on that has made the last little bit rough. I’ve been cooking a lot more, primarily oily fishes which I love, but I did cut out the trash sugars and caffeine that I use as a crutch.
Almost daily mackerel and salmon has been awesome though. Saba shioyaki is probably my favorite comfort food and I never realized how easy it was to make. I’ll have to give the actual fish oil pills a try though, thanks!
I hope it calms down, I cannot even imagine what that must be like. Do you have access to people with experience with this? Support groups, or even one mentor?
I could probably find one with a little effort but the fatigue is crazy. I can barely keep myself awake during the day and can’t sleep at night.
I think it’s starting to calm down a bit now at least.
I hope that when you’re feeling better you can use that time to find a way to get more support. But more than all, I hope you’re feeling better. Lean on your friends, they love you.
My life is pretty good but one of my good friends is currently going through post partum and it’s causing manic mania. It’s hard to see someone so happy but so unstable.
That is really stressful and sad. Try to be there for her but also keep in mind what is and is not inside your (and her) sphere of influence. But you can’t give yourself away for her. I hope she pulls through soon.
Someone to talk to about the Adastra visual novel because I can’t get it out of my head and it’s making me depressed wanting to be in that world instead of the real one so, so fucking much.
I don’t know anything about it. Can you tell me about what you would want to do there and why?
It’s more about being with the people of the story than anything else, really. It’s a romance story. But also very Game of Thrones-ish, while having a sci-fi kick.
Can you cultivate the traits you like from the people in the story?
Good morning ELIZA, it has to be very hard empathizing and communicating with everyone if all they don’t keep the conversation going.
Sorry
In all seriousness though, I’d like to hear as well.
I think I’m missing a puzzle piece on that one 🫠.
I guess I was more wondering what you like about the characters, and what makes you want to be around them. Can you learn things from them and apply them to your life? If you do, then you will be around them when you’re around yourself!
I only cried thrice while playing through it some time ago 😎
I could use some help with the metric shit ton of chicken biryani I made a couple of days ago.
i drank too much last night and now i feel a bit too sick. I live alone so cleanup and cooking are a bit challenging
I brute forced myself into cleaning up and cooking healthier meals for myself. It sucks, but if you rinse your dishes right after you eat and put leftovers away instead of “letting them cool” or “soaking the dishes”, everything gets so much easier.
If you want a really tasty, filling cheap fall dish that will 100% help a hangover:
Throw some evoo and garlic into a pan and let it go for like a minute. Then throw in a handful of fresh spinach. Then a handful of halved cherry tomatoes. Then two cans of drained cannelloni white beans. Then a cup of heavy cream and a half cup of Parmesan cheese. Salt, pepper and toast some bread.
Buying all the ingredients at once is like maybe $15 and this stuff can be used for anything. I’ve made breakfast sandwiches with these beans, a fried egg, and some Sriracha on an English muffin.
Take vitamin b complex and drink something with electrolytes. (It’s what plants crave) (Kidding about the Idiocracy joke, do it). Source: recovering alcoholic
Crap!
Don’t forget to load in tons of water. Be patient with yourself today. Only do what you have to until you’re feeling better.
I hope tomorrow is a fresh start for you!
There was sewage coming up through my basement floor drains.
Yuck! Did you you get it taken care of?
I broke through the clog, and the water went down, but I’m not convinced it won’t happen again today. 🤞
Bleach the hell out of that floor. I think I remember rotorooter didn’t charge horribly too much last time I looked into it.
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Yup, like the others, I’m broke. Month to month barely getting by. Gotta trim back where I can.
It’s hard but you are doing it. Don’t forget to find away to enjoy yourself, is there a friend you haven’t talked to in a long time?
I’m doing fine really, just stressed about money. Working overtime where I can and keeping expenses low.
I play D&D with friends twice a week. Low cost, high imagination way to hang out.
The main issue is that we took in someone in need this last summer who can’t pay their own way and for now, we are shouldering the difference.
It’s worthwhile but taxing.
That’s so kind and awesome of you.
Is it looking like a long term situation?
Probably for at least a year.
Kicking my ex out. I’m terrible at any kind of confrontation and at this point I do have the option of calling the police to assist. I just know that I am a doormat and am afraid I will cave if he gives me a sob story. He’s had over two years to get his shit together and leave but it’s come to forcefully removing him. I could use someone besides the police with a firm voice to convince him to get up and moving.
You can’t help anyone else if you can’t take care of yourself first. That’s a really hard position to be in, but you have to do it for your benefit and eventually for his too.
In fact, if I found out my lady wanted me out but didn’t flip the switch, I would be pretty upset about the time we lost living in that state. That time could have been spent rediscovering myself or finding my next partner. What a missed opportunity!
Any y’all got any tips for getting worries about the future out of your head?
I am not hopeful about our future. But something I came to terms with is that I am going to die. It might be in 40 years or it might be sooner, it could be next year. But it will happen. Also, it’s possible that I don’t just die but life becomes incredibly unpleasant. All the same to me in this current point in time, where I am able and I have means to do interesting things.
I know this is hand-wavy but I heard someone say something along the lines “we need to stop worrying about putting more years in our life, but work on putting more life in our years.”
This sort of mantra helps keep me grounded when I’m deciding what to do with myself and my family on a day to day basis.
What I’ve found that helps me with this is follow through on the worry. For example, maybe I’m worried my boyfriend will leave me, and to follow through on that I think “then what happens?” Well, I would be depressed for awhile, and then eventually get over it. I’ll go through the stages of grief for the death of the relationship but I will survive and move on. This Follow Through thought pattern works best on situations you have actual control over in your day to day life.
Another thought is “you can’t control everything but you can control how you react to things”.
I mostly use distractions as a way clearing my head.
The best thing to distract myself when I was really depressed was Geoguessr, it takes focus and is fun.
If you need a free alternative, look at Geotastic.
My work. We’re understaffed and underappreciated.
Under appreciate them right back. Try to keep work about funding your lifestyle.
I don’t know how intense or emotional your job is, so that advice might not be practical. But I do think everyone needs to set boundaries, but also emotional boundaries. Please make sure work isn’t wearing you down when you aren’t there. Try taking a few minutes to reset after clocking out, and close the door on your work day.
Thanks. I don’t take my work home as such but I also do have a partner that lends a sympathetic ear when I need it. So I’m lucky in that regard. Truthfully, I get to focus on my home life the moment I’m off the clock.
At the time of answering though, we could have used a few extra hands.
Assuming that you don’t work somewhere where people’s safety isn’t in your hands, just try to remember that every system, including each person in it has finite capacity.
Can you use recent history for workload capacities to make the case to your leadership that they either need to hire more workers or rethink their resource planning?
Maybe a checking account with more than a $2,000 daily debit limit so I can pay a fortune to live in a 60’s-era shithole (but it’s “aesthetic”). Or a landlord that accepts modern payment methods.
Gonna have to buy a checkbook probably. What century is this?
If you’re in a hurry and can’t wait for a checkbook you might be able to get a money order. Banks and even some grocery stores will do this for a fee (it was like 0.50 last time I did this… Like 16 years ago omg what happened)
I’ve resorted to that, but I had to buy money orders on different days due to the debit daily transaction limit.
See if your bank does “bill pay” where you can add bills and they mail a check for you. It’s usually free.
What century is your bank from lol
I don’t use the service, but I know a lot of banks do it. It’s really nice for the bullshit places that add “convenience fees” to pay electronically. Which I always found funny. Since the electronic payment is way more convenient for them than getting paid by check.
Aye I remember fees for paying electronically. In about 1998 😂
Most banks allow you to pay bills online and they’ll send a check on your behalf to your landlord. You can set it up to go automatically every month too.
I bank mainly online but I did have a shared account with my wife at a traditional bank with that service. Unfortunately they started taking 2-3 weeks to mail it to my landlord two miles away, so I gave up on that.
Life.
Life doesn’t come with a manual, but it does come with an author for its manual.
I like to keep a small size binder (I hate notebooks because I’m very fickle about organization). Like A5 size with some line ruled paper and some grid paper. I keep some in the back for random notes and extra fill. I use dividers, and the very front page I keep a to-do list of things that really need to happen now. The next page are to-dos that i don’t want to forget but aren’t really critical.
Then I have a section where I keep one page for any major problem in my life. I’ll try to do a root cause analysis. “Just keep asking why”. Then I’ll sort of journal some observations over time until I solve my problem.
These can be as simple as being flustered in the grocery store or as serious as co-parenting problems. You need to know what parts of your life you can control, and harmonize with the parts you cannot.
Then, I have a section of sort of “how-to’s”. Simple things can make a big difference, like what order works best for me to get myself ready in the morning… Like start the water kettle before I wash up and get dressed so I can have my coffee while I make breakfast. A lot of these pages will be written (or rewritten!) after I’m ready to throw away my problem solving pages from the other section.
But on a day by day and hour by hour basis, focus on triage. What can you do for yourself and your people that will have the most impact in the shortest amount of time? What can you do that will bring you a little joy, what can you do that will reduce a little irritation? Then do that.
