For a phone with a minimal UI, there is Light Phone. I almost bought the Nokia “banana phone” because it was used in The Matrix and I love that film. If you want something that will last a long time, maybe Fairphone (tho it is Android)

Please stop making smart TVs!!! They were never needed to start with! I just want to turn in my tv and have it start showing what I have hooked up to it.

Unfortunately, anything modern is designed to be cheap and throwaway in design, as inflation would easily push the price of the devices today up to 4 times that of the old stuff it it were designed with the same durability. Anything old enough to be the kind of device that lasts decades is incompat as technology has marched on, and old stock “new” still has an age issue - yes, electronics still go bad just by age.

Best I can say is, for your phone, a modern old people flip phone will still connect to the cell net, but it has a stripped down Android - this is because designing a one of a kind OS for a phone that has to use VoLTE VoIP and RCS messaging would be absurdly expensive, and slapping a bottom barrel SoC with Android already made for it is way cheaper. Phones all come with web browsers because the data net is now they do voice these days, so why not include a basic feature that can be useful to some? My first cell phone was a flip phone with 1.5MB RAM that didn’t even have bluetooth and it had a web browser… which was hot garbage, barely able to show me a paragraph on the tiny screen and slower than dialup but I did on occason try to use it.

You can try the Lightphone or Lightphone 2, which is an “anti-feature” phone that specifically does not come with any features.

Samsung washing machines have been a PITA due to Samsung making them with sketchy quality. I’d say a cheap front loader from the hardware store would be good enough, if they have a non-smart appliance.

The smart TV thing is getting annoying, especially since everyone is doing it at all price points, but a computer monitor ($~100 for 21") does not have smart anything, has hdmi, and probably you will use your own stuff to connect to it. Only problem is if the monitor lacks an HDMI ARC port, which is an HDMI that can send audio data back thru the link for sound systems, which you will need because monitors have trash speakers, unless you have a god tier set of 2.1 speakers with a 3.5mm jack.

As for the car and bluetooth, it’s always a hassle - the older the car the less likely bluetooth will work reliably if at all, but if you take calls on the road, you have to keep this working, as it is a safety issue. As for car spying, research the car and find out how to disconnect the telemetry modem. Until very recently, a lot of older cars with telemetry run just fine with the modem disconnected, or an aftermarket head unit installed with the telemetry unit disconnected.

Let’s start this off. I looked at some business displays as a replacement for a tv. They do the job, but generally don’t have great sound, so I need to buy soundbars as well. My old Panasonic 50’ is great, and I don’t mind the power draw. Will miss it when it’s gone.

There is basically no such thing as a working dumb mobile phone any more. All the old 2G and 3G ones are now bricked because the networks all cut over to 4G/5G. Otherwise what can I say, just avoid stuff with connectivity when you can help it. Also buy corded tools and appliances unless the convenience advantage of cordless is too great to do without. Otherwise you stuck trying to replace overpriced and sometimes hard to find batteries.

If something is completely FOSS then the software angle is less of a pain in my opinion. I’m still using a beat-up Thinkpad X220 that was made in 2011, but running Debian Bullseye on it. I’ll update it to Bookworm or Trixie when I get around to it. Point is that I can do that, while any phone from 2011 is a hopeless dinosaur.

I will be devil’s advocate in terms of Apple devices. I have an old iPad (5th gen), three years old iPhone and M1 iMac. All work perfectly fine. Apart from some latest features I can do anything I need/want.

As for the “smart” TVs, buy a store brand (most are dumb enough) or get a business display. In most cases is as dumb as is gets.

But if you want to “get off the grid” you will need to explore the Linux/FOSS world and spend a lot of time dealing with the usual drama - unusable laptop due to broken update/drivers, dealing with syncing data across devices, figuring out how to do things that work for everyone else.

Do a factory reset on your TV. Then do not let it ever connect to the internet again. Get a cheap laptop and play all your media on it through the TV.

I’m curious about something.

I fully understand your sentiment of things that don’t need to be smart, being “smart”. I have never connected my TV to the internet, because fuck that. I think there’s a bunch of things that are getting crap they don’t need layered on, all to mine more data

That said, what’s the issue with the TV not updating to the latest software? Isn’t that basically the same as a TV that never needed updates? No chance of a new feature, ever?

The key difference is the spyware, but that wasn’t what frustrated you, specifically.

http://predictatv.com/

My current project:

TV is 23 years old.

Wired headphones. I like that they just plug into whatever without syncing, are cheap, light, and last basically forever. Of course I need a dongle for the vast majority of modern phones, but I a have a sturdy solid dongle and other than the annoyance of having to carry it with me (and using the word “dongle” to describe it) it works quite nicely. A wire clip is also a necessity.

For your car het yourself a cassette player dock and a Sony walkman. Don’t worry about the skipping, scratched CDs, limited data storage, shaky connection, inability to change the library at will, it’s much easier and more convenient than keeping a Bluetooth connection from your phone to your player working.

Bluetooth speaker? No! Homemade PVC pipe passive amp? Yes!

You’re almost asking to be in an environment where you’re surrounded by 386 computers, PDAs, CRTs and beepers.

We’re sadly stuck with the way capitalism has enshittified technology to where it is almost unavoidable and the only options we’re down to is how much of ourselves we limit the access to that stuff. We’re also stuck with just going second-hand shopping because almost no company wants to go back to the way things were unless they want to market ViNtAgE or ReTrO throwbacks which even they sometimes shit all over those models.

Routers: anything supported by OpenWRT.

Apparently the ISP modem-routers being supplied these days have virtual assistants embedded (you vill use our spyware and you vill be happy!).

Instead of paying for heat, sometimes I just wear warm clothing all day.