Ya you just suck at communicating. It’s probably why most of your relationships fail.
Can’t fuck? More like don’t.
Or rather: don’t fake orgasms, make sure he knows if there’s something he can do better.
Constrictive criticism and pointers is how we get better, especially at doing the things YOU specifically like.
If he can’t roll with that, though, kick his ass to the curb. Maybe point and laugh at his weird penis first 😛
Constrictive criticism and pointers is how we get better
Was with you until you thought pointing and laughing would help make someone see the light
With you in principle and updooted you, but:
That one was A) a joke and B) a joke about shaming those unwilling to learn for not being willing to learn. Not about shaming them into being better in any way. What do you think I am, a Catholic parent?
Nah, I just wanted to make sure it was obvious to others that part was a joke. I updooted you in a comment you made lower in the comments. I figured you were a person with good intent making a comment involving passion. Something I direly need to learn from. Controlling my responses hasn’t always been great. As for the Catholics, I can’t speak much of anything about them I suppose anymore. I left their following more than 20 years ago now, and I hope they grow better as I don’t think they are going to disappear any time soon. I also need to give up drinking, but for sake of words, I say let’s drink to a better future.
I quit drinking myself 5 years ago as of last month, but since I have some good nonalcoholic beer right here, I’ll drink to all of that! 🍻
Well let’s hope it’s a chase I stay 5 years behind you until our end days. : )
I’d argue that people are not obligated to learn. If they don’t want to learn what you need to be happy with them, leave them. Don’t push them to do something they don’t want to do. There’s no reason to be hostile about it.
I’d argue that people are not obligated to learn
I mean technically being selfish isn’t illegal… Still better for everyone if they aren’t, though 🤷
If they don’t want to learn what you need to be happy with them, leave them.
Except for the fact that the next one along is gonna get bad sex too. A lover is like a public park: when you’re done using it, the polite thing is to leave it as good or better than when you arrived.
Don’t push them to do something they don’t want to do.
Unlike the OP, I’m advocating for constructive criticism and pointers. That’s not pushing. That’s nudging at most.
There’s no reason to be hostile about it.
If you think giving helpful advice on how you can better please someone in bed, in stead of pretending that they’re already a champion, is hostile behavior, that’s a YOU problem…
Laughing at someone is hostile. Parting ways amicably is much better. I also think that men should not be pressed to do things they don’t want to do in bed. Also, not every woman enjoys the same methods, so teaching a man something might not work for his next partner. People have different tastes in sexual stuff. It’s necessary to communicate and be prepared that there can be different preferences. It’s ok if someone doesn’t want to do some stuff in bed.
Laughing at someone is hostile
As I made clear in another comment, that part was a joke. As in I didn’t mean it. I don’t endorse body shaming, even if someone’s a selfish lover lol
Parting ways amicably is much better.
Yeah, obviously.
I also think that men should not be pressed to do things they don’t want to do in bed
Nobody’s suggesting that. Can we do this without the strawmen, please?
Also, not every woman enjoys the same methods, so teaching a man something might not work for his next partner.
Sure, but some things work for more than one person. Such as being open to suggestions of how to improve. Which needs to be a two-way street and voluntary, of course.
People have different tastes in sexual stuff.
You don’t say?
It’s necessary to communicate and be prepared that there can be different preferences
Of course. That’s what I’m advocating for.
It’s ok if someone doesn’t want to do some stuff in bed.
Again, I never said to force anyone to do anything. I meant something along the lines of “X isn’t really working for me, could you try Y?” or “I really like X, is that something you’re into?”, NOT “do X or get out!”
So are we actually on the same page? It seems we agree with each other, which is nice.
How to admit you are shit in bed and you are not arsed enough to work on yourself.
Is it being shit in bed if you don’t push your partner to do stuff they don’t feel like doing? Is a partner shit in bed if they feel uncomfortable with some stuff? Are there mandatory ways to make love and to enjoy sex?
Ask your wife. Or her lover.
I am the wife.
Good advice!
Also, good save on the quality shitposting by including the body shaming.
Yeah, there was a distinct danger of being too wholesome and helpful for a shitpost community for sure! 😄
If he can’t do it, flip him over and do it yourself.
Constrictive criticism
Freudian slip? But hey if that’s what you’re into then good for you 😉
Otherwise? Yeah, come on, don’t settle for shit sex, if you can teach your partner to be better then why not? Don’t be too afraid to say something.
Freudian slip? But hey if that’s what you’re into then good for you 😉
Actually a happy autocomplete accident, but yeah, gonna leave it as is because you made it fun 😄
Otherwise? Yeah, come on, don’t settle for shit sex, if you can teach your partner to be better then why not? Don’t be too afraid to say something.
Lmao
Or you could teach him. Better for both of you.
Not everyone has the patience for that
If you aren’t willing to learn and grow with your partner you should stick to masturbating
Oh and that is fine but then you have to ask yourself if you want to have a partnership with bad sex. If not, break up, or “teach” by communicating what you want, what is good and what is bad. There is no alternative, accept bad sex, break up, teach.
(Technically, you could let them have sex outside of the partnership to study, but… Well, not my cup of tea)
Skill issue
Right? My immediate thought was just that is is awful communication and everyone would have a better time if they just said something in either scenario
Well, let me practice.
I always think of Kramer saying he faked orgasms, LOL. 🤣
Yeah, please. Why be deceptive? It serves no one.
Better yet, take responsibility for your own pleasure. Play an active role in getting what you want out of the act. Communicate. Why wouldn’t you?
I’ve heard from a lot of women that a portion of men take any attempt to provide suggestions as a direct attack on their masculinity
Not just men, I’m a lesbian and I’ve experienced this with women too. Some people are really sensitive to constructive criticism especially during intimacy.
This happens when providing suggestions to anyone about anything when you’re dealing with an insecure person.
Well that’s just two reasons not to date them since those guys all probably listen to Tate.
No, no, no. All things on the internet are 100% true.
She’s referring to the orgasm
While 100% in the don’t fake it camp, please also remember us men are not mind readers and our equipment works different. Much like with cooking and cleaning, if you don’t tell us what we are doing wrong or better yet show us the right way, we are going to assume we did our part cause we got the result we wanted and you didn’t complain or ask for something different.
Fake orgasm is very counter-productive, even when it’s used as a feeling preservibg way of saying “I’m tired and bored, let’s just finish you off and go back to watching tv”
Also a woman’s ability to cum varies HIGHLY from person to person.
Funnily enough, your wife said the same thing.
Funnily enough, this is the case for men too. Hence all the “this has never happened to me before” memes on TV shows in the 90s and 00s.
I’ve noticed a pretty direct correlation with a woman’s habit of masturbating and her ability to orgasm during sex. The chick I was seeing just before I went back to college, I’d believe it if you told me that I’ve played with her clit more than she ever has TO THIS DAY, and guess what? She never once gave me any suggestion on what she wanted me to do, I’m sure because she genuinely didn’t know.
I’d say day to day as well, depending on many factors (stress, energy level, hormones, etc.)
Just communicate and see what’s working or not, or if anything works at all. It will make the sex better for everyone involved.
What I happened to notice with different girls as a guy is that for many, of not most, telling/showing the right way is a turn-off and having something the right way without showing first is a source of tremendous excitement.
With that said, we, men, are still not mind readers, and women really do have it very differently, so some common sex education, while useful, can only cover the basics, and even they are not universally applicable.
telling/showing the right way is a turn-off
I don’t think OP is talking about a PowerPoint presentation (unless that’s your kink, you do you), but more like some verbal cues “faster” “don’t stop” “a little lower” etc. If the guy has a reasonable amount of attentiveness and experience, he should be able to get her 80% of the way there. Also, little cues like that can be hot as well because we know she’s into it and stuff.
I dunno man, most women in my experience have all really appreciated (and as much said out loud) that there was communication. Sure, if it happens without any prompting or guidance, it’s mind blowing because it feels like there’s something naturally special going on, but that’s a pretty rare thing. Sexual compatibility can be tweaked and guided, for sure, but then again there are also people who just don’t have it together.
There are also just toxic people that want perfection with zero work. But that’s not how shit works, even if they can be a vocal group
Yes! Also, tell your male friends to communicate and actively ask what feels good!
Edit: Also
Yes! This does wonders!
I’m lucky my wife orgasms easily from PIV makes me feel like a champ but really it’s just her body that makes it happen.
PIV (Pontoon Implantment Vehicle)
I’m in the “multiple orgasm” camp but it has happened a couple times where I’m not really in the mood (stress etc) or the sex has gone on too long (chafing, boredom) where there’s not a specific thing my husband should start or stop doing long term and I don’t want to impact his experience. It’s only been like 3 or 4 times in the last 15 years.
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Here’s the psychic cure, actually fake orgasms don’t exist, they are all real. If she tells you she faked it, it means she’s lying to you, and now she’s just trying to hurt you, probably because you didn’t do the dishes last night.
There, the whole fake orgasm thing, solved forever.
As a femdom fan, I fully support this idea
I JUST HAD SEX
How is your mum feeling about it?
I don’t really talk to my mother, she’s an alcoholic.
AND IT FELT SO GOOD
(felt so good)
A WOMAN LET ME PUT. MY. PENIS. INSIIIIIIIDE OF HER
WITH ANOTHER PERSON
Nice, and your partner(s)?
They just had sex, too.
To shreds, you say?
I kissed a girl and I liked it, but as I’m a heterosexual man, that’s not especially transgressive.
Let’s be honest, two girls kissing, I have never seen anyone have an issue with that as long as they also kissed boys. Also kiss is a euphenism here. Yes lesbians were seen as wgtow and somewhat persecuted but bi-curious hetero girls? Absolutely never seen that even hinted at. In fact a lot of pop culture put that on a pedestal. Because it’s hot.
It was a reference to a crappy Katie Perry song. But I repeat myself.
Unavailability to men, real or perceived without monastic levels of chastity is often where the persecution comes in. It tends to be directed towards lesbians, but bi women often face it once they are seen as not partaking in men’s fetishization of them
Are bi women not seen as available? I mean, are they bi sexual if they don’t consider men as potential partners? It seems to me if they don’t, then they’re lesbians and yes I agree this is more stigmatized by the diseased culture.
Well my friend’s wife is still very much bisexual despite being monogamously married to a woman.
Another friend’s fiancée decided to stop pursuing men before she met her wife to be, but she remains attracted to men.
My two friends in these situations are, like me, lesbians and just not attracted to men, as opposed to choosing not to pursue them for other reasons
Honestly, yeah! If it’s not going to happen, fine, that’s life sometimes. If I’m doing something that doesn’t work for you, or you want something different, how tf am I supposed to know that? I’m not psychic ffs. If you fake an orgasm, you get what you deserve.
Lol, you sound really angry. If you want to get better at this, you should probably remove your ego from the equation here and look at it objectively.
I see a lot of anger from both genders these days on social media. Take a step back from all of that and date people who are not into all that shit. It will turn your brain into mush. :)
Social media is harmful for you. It’s become even worse than the news now, since it’s actively targeting you with algorithms, trying to get you to be upset so you click around. It’s going to serve you the worst of humanity fighting eachother.
Just touch grass.
Psst… your projection is showing…
More like your own, mate. :)
No u
Most men are a lot more receptive to input than many women give us credit for. For the mist part, men do not want to be known as a terrible lay. If your man doesn’t think he needs pointers, get someone else to treat you right.
The problem is that the exceptions can actually be dangerous
People need to spread the word about good, safe partners better.
But jealousy exists, so everyone else has to gamble with their lives for a date/orgasm.
Wait, we’re supposed to be involving mist? Women just get more and more complicated…
Some guys think of sex like a video game I’m sure XD
I’m now picturing those 80s games where you had to hit the keys rapidly (and in the correct sequence) to make your character run, but with pelvic thrusts…
