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Dunkan2@lemmy.world to Comic Strips@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

If men flirted like birds

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If men flirted like birds

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Dunkan2@lemmy.world to Comic Strips@lemmy.world · 1 year ago
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  • tal@lemmy.today
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    1 year ago

    Ehh…

    https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1992-05-10-we-2559-story.html

    The Duck Wars : Mating season is a brutal time for the female birds, who often are injured or die. Residents along the canals have created a sanctuary.

    This is mating season, and, as the ducks’ human friends will tell you, it’s no Disney movie. These are ducks out of a Far Side cartoon, says one observer: They should have jackets that read “Hell’s Waterfowl.”

    The ducks of the Venice canals, most of them crossbred mallards officially known as urban domesticated ducks, engage in mating behavior that is hard on the females in the best of times. A female that wanders near a group of males will be mounted again and again. Females that escape alive drag themselves out of the water stripped of the feathers on their heads and backs. Some lose an eye.

    • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You can’t just leave out the most important part!

      The ducks’ dicks, which are surprisingly long and twisting, will forcefully and rapidly grow inside the female. I can only imagine the pain and the struggle. This has led to an evolutionary arms race between the sexes, where females have evolved dead-ends in their vaginas in an effort to curb impregnation from rape.

      Isn’t nature wonderful?

      • ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org
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        1 year ago

        Corkscrew penis is what it’s called at least in Germany and I think this is pretty accurate…

      • deathmetal27@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Reminds me of that “Scientifically accurate Duck Tales” animation. It’s nearly impossible to find these days.

        • CrayonRosary@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          So, so hard to find. 😛

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x6ebdpM-UQ

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Daaaaaaaamn. This should be a horror movie concept. A group of college students on campus hear stories of wild orgies down by the lake.

      The ones who investigate and participate enter a world of pain. An orgy so hardcore, body hair gets ripped off, and you’re lucky to make it out alive.

      Like Freddie Kruger, but horny!

    • LittleBrownBird@lemmy.zip
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      1 year ago

      deleted by creator

      • Zink@programming.dev
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        1 year ago

        Would you rather be lost in a strange canal with a random man or a random duck?

        • LittleBrownBird@lemmy.zip
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          deleted by creator

        • LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Oh God not this debate again

  • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    I mean, both humans and animal flirt like all of the panels.

    Plants on the other hand are more kinky.

    • wabafee@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You got me interested, you gotta share more.

      • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Just indiscriminately jizz in the air, all over yourself and your lovers kilometres away … and make anything in between breathe it.

        But after a few 100 million years some invertebrate cucks offered (their faces and asses) to personally transport the jizz to suitable partners, so you can do that now if you are into it.

        • Vespair@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          You should absolutely teach science classes

          • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            Well, jizz wouldn’t be the accurate term then, but you gotta keep them interested, right?

            But I would try to keep it accurate, after all, trees are just a kind of furry (leaffy?). Just look how juicy their juices are.

            Or this jizzery: youtube/AlmH_33QCu8

            • AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee
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              1 year ago

              deleted by creator

              • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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                1 year ago

                Never been to a furry&leaffy con, have you?

        • kakler bitmap@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          If female cannabis plants don’t get the jizz they crave, their flowers get all plump and sticky as they cry out “plz pollinate me, daddy”

        • wabafee@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Kinky

        • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Great…now I will never ever blow a dandelion nor touch a touch-me-not again.

          • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            Harder!
            I mean, yes, you don’t have to, but it would be pretty cool if you did.

        • Prehensile_cloaca @lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Yellow Pines are the Peter North of trees.

        • flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 year ago

          It occurs to me to ask, is this why you’re evil?

  • AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space
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    1 year ago

    Or they’d open their window and sing out “wanna fuck?”

    • remotelove@lemmy.ca
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  • HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com
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    1 year ago

    I mean the house would more like the pile of junk and the dancing would be naked and the pile of junk would be like the shiniest one thing from the pile. Could you imagine if women reacted favorably to such simple expressions. fourth panel would be I bought you dinner.

  • vga@sopuli.xyz
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    1 year ago

    I mean successful men flirt like this actually

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.worksBanned from community
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    1 year ago

    Ummmm, who’s going to tell them?

  • AItoothbrush@lemmy.zip
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    1 year ago

    Second and third one kinda happens even if on a smaller scale

    • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      First also happens but they end relationships rather than start one. How many marriages have failed because of a DIY reno project that halted progress for years.

  • Toldry@lemmy.worldB
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    1 year ago

    i showed u my dick cloaca pls respond

    • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

  • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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    1 year ago

    As someone who just got 2 dick pics a few minutes i just want to say that it does work a lot of the time.

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      …rip your inbox.

      • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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        1 year ago

        Ha! Honestly, sure, anyone reading this, if you wanna send your pics, go right ahead. Lmao. It’s not going to bother me. Once you’ve seen your first 100 nothing much shocks you anymore, and I’ve seen way more than that.

        • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥@lemmy.world
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          deleted by creator

          • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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            Hey, now, don’t tempt me with my dream career

    • AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      Caveat Emptor my friend

  • Godric@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    How birds actually flirt:

    https://youtu.be/LNC6ODsdul0

  • doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 year ago

    I may be wrong, but I think a lot of birds do basically exactly that

  • Aeri@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Point of order aren’t bird calls basically just “SEX?”

  • owl@infosec.pub
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    This is kind of meme, that if I had a brother (hypothetically that is, I don’t have one) and he would send it to my girlfriend (again hypotheical, I dont have one), I would see this as a kind of betryal. Would anyone agree?

  • 4oreman@lemy.lol
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    i like how men = white

    • Solumbran@lemmy.world
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      It’s a drawing, not a statistical representation of the population. How do you even know it’s not the same guy?

      • 4oreman@lemy.lol
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        don’t be hating on white men

    • cally [he/they]@pawb.social
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      1 year ago

      It’s the same guy in the panels

    • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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      You are exactly who trump supporters imagine when they call people “triggered libs.”

      • 4oreman@lemy.lol
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        Nice try Elon ; we all know you like to attack strangers on the internet

    • Nythos@sh.itjust.works
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      Get a grip

      • 4oreman@lemy.lol
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        I did ; on your dads wee wee. 😎

    • 4oreman@lemy.lol
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      1 year ago

      hair dye?

    • CrayonRosary@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I, too, strive to be offended several times a day. I really go out of my way to make it possible by taking everything I see in the most pessimistic way possible. It gives me perverse comfort to feel like a victim all the time.

      • 4oreman@lemy.lol
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        1 year ago

        makes sense.

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