Make it a good one.
Go back to 2011ish and unleash WanaCry on a world that is not ready for for a global crypto locker.
Jeez. Wow. Just wow. Lol.
Go back in time and do something to prevent Vasily Aleksandrovich Arkhipov from becoming the Executive Officer on the B-59 Soviet nuclear sub in October 1962. He’s the guy who talked the Captain and the Political Officer out of launching the nukes when they thought they were being attacked by the US Navy during the Cuban Missile Crisis. His persuasiveness is generally considered to have avoided WWIII from starting then.
He probably literally saved the world, he should really be talked about more
The scary part is, he’s not the only one
You could also flip the switch that was literally the only thing keeping the nuke from exploding over North Carolina in the Goldsboro incident.
Nuke going off over US soil at the height of the cold war could very well have started everyone firing.
Go to back to the big bang. You presence alone will butterfly effect the earth out of existence.
Wait until I’m about to die, then go back to when the first land-dwelling animals first started coming ashore. I’d bring a bunch of cockroaches with me and then I’d die there. Either the roaches or my decaying corpse will hopefully cause enough change to the timeline that humanity never develops in the first place.
I think that’s the most I could screw over the (human) world.
I kill Dr Morell before he meets Hitler.
Go back from 2026 to 2024. Report a pet has gone missing and you heard that an immigrant neighbor ate it. Come back to 2026. Book your dream vacation at the Trump Gaza resort.
I hate the ‘hate’ part (pardon the pun) of the question.
I’d rather go back in time and get Jesus and bring him back here so that he can go all ‘temple money changers’ on today’s MAGA Christians asses, give them a proper yelling to.
I want to watch this series.
Jesus the time traveler tells off assholes.
I want to watch this series.
Jesus the time traveler tells off assholes.
I’m not religious by nature, but yeah, definitely would sub for that series, for sure.
The comedy series “Black Jesus” has some of that vibe, if I recall.
And yeah, it’s great.
You think they’d listen to a random brown dude who couldn’t speak English?
Something tells me that if Jesus was ‘Jesussy’ enough, that they’d listen to him, regardless of skin color.
I genuinely doubt it. And if he was proven to be truly Jesus and kept saying that then US Christians would either say “He doesn’t understand the modern world” or reject him for some other contrived reason (i.e. he was corrupted by modernity, the machine caused him to lose his connection to God, etc…)
Christians are full of hate because they love hate.
Jesus-y? Or Jesussy? Those seem different.
Jesus-y? Or Jesussy? Those seem different.
I’d say whichever one seems more like an adverb than a pronoun.
😏
If there’s a jesus with powers in the first place, he could do the holy spirit thing that happened after his death where the apostles proselytized by speaking in languages they (previously) couldn’t to people who couldn’t understand the native tongue.
I’m sure he’d be deported and ignored if not put into an asylum.
Nah, when he uses his Jesussy powers he’d stare them down quick like, and they’d beg for forgiveness.
All hail…the Jesussy
All hail…the Jesussy
Well, for what it’s worth, it’s meant as an adverb, and not a pronoun.
But I don’t think Jesus would mind, either way.
I read about a study that said Homo sapiens may have been down to as few as 40 breeding pairs at one point.
I’ve got way more ammo than that in my closet.
By eradicating one species, you’re probably going to save the entire planet. I guess in 500 million years the descendants of modern crows could become the new dominant species and they’ll end up nuking the planet sooner or later. You win some, you loose some.
Land octopus ftw
Squid. They’re much more social than octopodes. I for one welcome our new TEN tentacled overlords. Everyone knows ten tentacles is better than eight.
I’d kill Harambe. Wait a second…
The thing here is that I have zero desire to screw people over.
Come on, little roleplay here
My name is Friedrich Trump (aka Frederick Trump) and I already did that and even had a nice hump.
Tell Hitler to focus on Operation Sea Lion and to leave Russia alone
Land the time machine on top of the first animal to walk on land. Don’t even have to get out of the machine.
Let the Cuban missile crisis actually happen?
Go back to the Garden of Eden with a bucket, grab all the apples, then head back.
