Holy shit I didn’t see that on the horizon. That’ll be great…

Jokes about the eggs made of gold etc etc

At minimum, knowing how to substitute eggs in baking is a basic life skill if you like feeding yourself.

In baked goods, each = 1 egg:

1/4 cup applesauce

1/4 cup mashed banana

3 tbsp nut butter

1/4 cup yogurt

1 tbsp ground flax seed + 3 tbsp water

Even when bird flu isn’t going on, sometimes you just don’t have an egg. Know your options!

I did. Months ago. I like eggs, but these people are fucking silly. I don’t know how anybody could care so much about egg prices that they helped this criminal idiot be a dictator, and they’re still whining instead of just refusing to buy eggs. How do these losers care this much about eggs but they don’t breathe a word about the cost of healthcare and prescription drugs?

I might be close to this upset if it were cheese that this were happening to. But eggs? Get a life.

Sounds like a good way to spread avian flu, though I guess Fox News probably doesn’t care about that.

Also there was an article I saw that ran the numbers, and it would take way too many chickens plus selling some of the eggs for that to break even for most families.

All of the Facebook groups I’m in for keeping backyard chickens are infested with conspiracy loons. They think the bird flu isn’t real, and that the culls are a ploy to get us to eat fake meat.

So we probably are going to have an outbreak - the same fuckers who refused to wear masks sure as hell aren’t going to safely handle sick chickens. Time to invest in ivermectin stock I guess.

My neighbors regularly lose chickens to coyotes…

Fox wants people to have chickens. Nothing suspicious about this surely

*Fox State Media.

How is that gonna work when so many properties are under the thumb of HOAs.

How long until they have Americans smelting iron in their back yards?

Fox is in our henhouse?

If I keep posting this every time there are egg related political news stories, maybe it’ll come true?

I put together a little short story about how I would like to see Donald Trump meet his demise. Drowning in eggs:

The Eggsecution.

The once-proud leader, now stripped of title and dignity, stands in the center of the barren, concrete abyss. The abandoned Olympic swimming pool—thirty feet deep, dry as bone—has become their final stage. Above, the gathered masses stretch in every direction, a writhing sea of anticipation.

They do not jeer. They do not boo.

They simply chant.

“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”

It starts as a murmur, a low thrum of human voices vibrating in unison. Then it grows, swelling into a deafening roar that rattles windows, that shudders in the bones of every person present. A chant as ancient as it is absurd, a single-minded invocation of punishment.

The first egg arcs high overhead, tracing a lazy curve before splattering against the fallen leader’s shoulder. The yolk bursts, oozing down his baggy, ugly, now-useless suit. A streak of yellow, the first of many.

Another egg. Then another.

Then dozens.

The first impacts make them flinch, stagger—hands raised in a futile shield. But soon there are too many to dodge, too many to deflect. They curl inward as the sky rains viscous judgment. The chant never stops.

“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”

Shells crack. Yolk drips. The scent of sulfur and shame thickens in the stagnant air. It coats their skin, their hair, their pride, turning them into something less than human. Something… egg-like.

At the top of the pit, a child—no older than seven—steps forward. They hold their egg with both hands, cradling it like something precious. Reverent. With a deliberate motion, they lob it downward. It strikes the leader square on the forehead, exploding with an almost musical plap. The crowd erupts into a fresh crescendo of cheers, but the chant never falters.

“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”

No escape. No reprieve. The pit is smooth concrete, slick now with raw egg and humiliation. They can do nothing but stand there, endure, become part of the ritual.

Somewhere in the throng, a vendor hawks boiled eggs. Another sells cartons to the unprepared. A man in a chicken suit waves encouragingly at the crowd.

The night wears on, but the spectacle does not end.

It cannot end.

Not until the last egg is thrown. Not until the last voice is hoarse.

Not until the world is rid of this one, failed leader, broken not by swords or exile, but by the inescapable weight of public yolk and scorn.

“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”

Not entirely true, as H5N1 isnt working to do this on its own. He’s made nondocumented workes feel unsafe so it’s hard for them to work. Specifically in the low wage work one finds on a farm, especially if the work is in a red state. Look at Kentucky, for example.

He did fire a bunch of the people in public health who were trying to make policies to prevent the birds being infected.

Just like how we have routine food recalls because he shuttered lots of food regulation during his first term. Wonder how much Boar’s Head has donated to the Republican Party….

Eggs are 4x regular price. Chicken (meat) has barely moved. There’s no lack of stock, on a perishable product and the prices are incredibly high.

Greed made that price.

This is also going to start some knees to jerking, but he’s also technically correct that inflation specifically hasn’t been that bad, if you actually look at inflation rates it’s not particularly worse than what we’ve had in other decades, the 90’s which we associate with a bountiful economy had higher inflation rates for a longer period of time.

What’s making all of this untenable is companies doing everything they can to avoid paying livable wages and most of all price gouging. Which they’re doing with eggs for good reason, but we also have to understand that anything that uses poultry is also going to take a hit, and then, like magic, a variety of other companies and services use these specific gouges as a justification to raise their own prices beyond inflation levels, even if they sell things that have never touched a chicken, like fucking mortgages and medical care.

We used to have bureaus and departments to keep this kind of thing in check. You can argue their effectiveness but at least we had them.

I’m actually smart enough to understand this. But they blamed Biden for shit that he had no control over so I’m going to be spiteful and blame everything bad on Trump.

This blame game goes two ways Republicans. See you at the midterms.

Why aren’t you wearing a suit to go grocery shopping? Show some respect!

I believe the traditional response to “the peasants have no eggs” would be, “let them eat cake!”

Somehow, democrats’ messaging from September made it into this thread.

Have you said thank you once?

High egg prices are doubleplusgood.

In the end, the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it. It was inevitable that they should make that claim sooner or later: the logic of their position demanded it.

Friendship with eggs is no more.

Now he’s a friend with a spiraling hyperinflation.

Just go eat a cat or possibly dog.

Elon is triggered… so talk more about eggs. Publish and share more egg recipes and recommend more dishes with eggs in them.

What’s even stupider is that he still has the support he has. I’d love to start seeing more man on the street interviews asking the redcaps if they voted FOR tariffs. If they stupidly say yes, because, hey, they are a fucking cult, I want the follow-up question to be WHY? What do they think it will really do, in the short term? Also ask them why the CHIPS program was killed, if they are so interested in American jobs…

MAGA supporter: “iT wAs NeVeR aBoUt tHe PriCe of EgGs. yOu’Re MiSsiNG tHe PoInT.”

I mean, to be fair… stock prices are rapidly being driven down, so he was kinda right.

No pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again