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You can only get so excited about making someone else rich.
This is becoming a huge problem for me.
Wait I thought that’s what accomplishment was?
Isn’t that one of the major symptoms of OCD?
ADHD and 'tism too.
I know the post is a joke but this has high impact on our lives. You don’t develop a drive for certain things unless you feel rewarded. For a lot of us we put in all the work but never get the reward. It’s fucking hell.
For me and many others it’s even the opposite: we are rewarded with a bad mood after we do the thing
Yes, and the ever-present “I should’ve done it THAT way, goddamn, I probably screwed up…”
Expectations aren’t being fulfilled.
I don’t feel anything positive when I complete stuff. It makes daily chores exceptionally difficult. The only coping mechanism I’ve found that kind of works is a stupid little game I made on my home assistant dashboard. I get a point every time I complete a task and every six hours it deducts a point. I have it track current and high score. I have a high score of 24 because one weekend I got fed up at myself for spending weeks never getting more than 3 points. I’m sitting down around 10 points now as I try to slowly prevent the score from trickling all the way to zero. I don’t even require it to be a big task either. Take out trash, cook a meal, do dishes, clean out fridge, clean counters, burn boxes. Everything I do feels like an internal battle for me to do and once I’m done I know I’m just going to have to do it again. Oh yay, did the laundry, good thing that’s just going to need done again in a week. I don’t even enjoy eating, everything is a constant stream of chores and bs that doesn’t accomplish anything.
I don’t even get the sense of relief. I could stop 1 second short of finishing and feel no difference.
For me the relief comes from finally being able to let go of the guilt I felt for not getting it done before. Maybe you don’t feel guilty so you don’t get the relief after the guilt?
That is actually one of the major things that medication changes for me - things other than my current hyperfocus can be rewarding. Mind you I still suck at choosing the right activity, but at least I stick with whatever I’m doing.
Yeah. I struggled to finish my graduation thesis, for many reasons, but chief among them was that I took on a project I didn’t know I wasn’t prepared for (it went way, waaay beyond what my education gave me, including economic and social issues I definitely was not prepared to explore, nevermind explain) and my supervisor was as inexperienced in it as I was. Me being the perfectionist that I am, being unable to produce what I imagined meant I’d rather do nothing.
Took me about 2y to get a decent research paper together (it really didn’t need to take that long, it was a qualitative study on gentrification in my city), and by the time I was able to guilt myself into actually finishing it, I got a decent looking project in about 2 weeks, hyperfocusing through the absolute rage the entire thing was giving me. The terna (experts assigned to judge) loved it, from the research to the execution. I asked for the degree to be handed to me on site instead of through a ceremony. I was just absolutely done with it, lol.
I don’t really feel proud about it even though I should be, I’m just glad I got through it at all.
Well maybe if someone paid those MTX’s you would get that sense of PRIDE and ACCOMPLISHMENT 😤😤
it’s an older meme sir, but it checks out
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Or the feeling of , that should gave taken way less time, man I suck. Did I do it right? Better redo it (6 hours later…)
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My mom after I finished some inane chores she’d force me to do when I was a kid:
“There that wasn’t so bad was it? Don’t you feel accomplished now, after a job well done?”
Me:
"1. Yes, it was. All of that sucked. 2. No. I feel like I want to be left alone. We will definitely struggle again next time you tell me to stop what I’m doing on a Saturday to mow your lawn for free, or whatever. "
I’ve since grown up and have my own lawn I neglect. But, I do understand the value of chores now. I just don’t force them on others, and if I ask for help, it isn’t a veiled threat that says “You say yes and help, or else…”
Dopamine after an accomplishment? Nah.
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No finished project without some force that provided the focus to get it done.
How can any feeling of accomplishment fill the mind when there is the bad feeling of being forced?
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