Romantic relationships as promoted by society. After dating so many different types of men and always being let down, I’ve decided it’s not worth my time.
And after hearing so many stories of cheating partners doing shady shit, breaking people’s hearts, perpetrating abuse, gambling life savings away, etc., I’ve decided it’s a bunch of BS that either works for very few people, or you need to seriously compromise and overlook a lot of shit with the average person. And I’m so done with that and I’m also frustrated and jaded.
So now when I see a couple all lovey dovey i see them with derision and I start to wonder how long they have until the inevitable breakup or if one of them is doing some shit on the side.
I’m in a similar boat on the opposite side of the aisle.
Oh, interesting, how do you mean?
On average, only 14% of those in a couple say they are not very or not at all satisfied with their relationship with their spouse or partner, while 84% say they are somewhat or very satisfied.
And this
The failure rate for first marriage is roughly 48%, 60% for second and 70% for third marriages [source], but at the same time, in 2019 for every 1000 marriages, only 7.6 resulted in divorce, which is the lowest divorce rate in the past 50 years.
So I would not say it is that rare to live happy married life. But it is not like everyone is getting this life. With a hard work I think it is totally possible and is not that rare at all… Although none of those studies give a direct answer on how many happy lifelong relationships there are. One can conclude somewhere between 30-40% of relationships are happy lifelong relationship. And even if this number is lower like 10-20% this is still a very significant number.
When I talk about relationships with my sister she has similar view as you. She can almost never see a truly happy relationship. While I can see it everywhere
It turned out our environments are drastically different. For example she met all of her partners at parties. This is not a general population. While I met my wife in school.
I made most of my friends in school or at work or from being a neighbor (ie owning a house). Most of them are educated and with higher income. If I remember correctly those also have better statistics for relationship success. While my sisters friends are none of that.
I believe it would be wise for you to check if your environment screwed your view too.
Whoa, that’s a very nice reply! Thank you, and thank you for taking it seriously, too. I was being downvoted and I was hoping you hadn’t taken the question the wrong way. I’m glad that’s not the case because I’m genuinely curious.
Ah, I should’ve stated that I’m gay. That’s the biggest factor. It feels like it multiplies all those percentages by a way smaller fraction because the dating pool is a puddle. I honestly don’t see many people that I like who would be interested in a monogamous relationship because I think queer culture in my country has different priorities, so it feels like it raises the stakes and the pressure every time I give a relationship a go with someone who seems compatible. I’ve even changed my views to match the culture, but no luck yet.
And let me just vent this, but my luck has run so ridiculously bad that even the guy who bragged about having had three different 5-year relationships and got me starry-eyed left out that his last one had been abusive for years and tried that shit on me too. These things tend to linger in my mind, y’know? It’s rough out there.
I down vote stuff for many reasons. In your case it was disagreeing with your view. This next reply I upvoted because I liked your nice response.
I can see only having gay dating pool could screw that statistics by a lot. I admit I do not know a lot about gay community. While I know the (not sure how real) stereotype about way more common one night relationships. I still think this still varies a lot depending on whre you are searching.
Homosexuals I know (in my environment) are all in a very long relationships. My gay neighbors have been married for 10+ years. My gay schoolmate has been in a relationship for a few years and I have no doubt they will eventually marry and live a very happy life.
While I can imagine those percentage being lower in gay community I still believe they are quite significant. Maybe you just have to search in a different environment.
Aaron Rogers.
Liberalism
As in like you support absolute monarchy or dislike neo liberals?
The video game industry. (Indie games are on fire lately, though.)
I am screaming at this sentence both internally and externally.
AA is where it’s at now. There’s still insanely good games coming out, there just not by companies like EA and Activision anymore.
In some ways I think the good development studios are the same size they’ve always been, it’s just that a new class of mainstream games has risen to profit on the masses. If you ignore those, it’s not so bad. At least not until one of the AAA publishers gets their hands on them to ruin the IP and layoff the original devs
A lot of AA studios have been cramming in a ton of microtransactions still, whereas indie is mostly devoid of it, but it definitely gets a lot better the more A’s you remove.
Apple, and a number of the other big tech companies as well. Shit used to be easy to use, repair, customize to your liking, etc.
Now they don’t want you to be able to fix a damn thing, plus all too many services and features and stuff have gone to the subscription model.
Fuck all with that, give us our stuff back and let us just use what we paid for.
Right To Repair!
You have to go back like 30 years to get to a pro-repair Apple
More or less yeah. Though back around 2013 or so, I was somewhat pleasantly surprised by how they designed their Mac AIO desktops, they actually were somewhat repair tech friendly.
The front glass was magnetically attached, so it only took a suction cup or two to start disassembly, and basic screwdrivers to remove the screen and get access to the motherboard, hard drive, RAM, DVD drive, etc.
And yes you could replace or upgrade parts as necessary, none of this newer soldered on storage shit they do these days.
I’ve lost a lot of respect for companies that solder on important parts that should rightfully be fairly easy to replace or upgrade.
Plus, now the big companies have taken to forcing encryption on the storage devices, effectively locking the drive to the system. Well isn’t that just cute for the backup operator that’s trying to recover your late grandmother’s family photos…
Yeah it’s pretty bleak, although there have been some moves towards right to repair in recent years.
Respecting companies is always a bit fraught though. Even the ones you like are only doing it to profit off of your niche. It’s thanks to us that they even have a profitable niche to serve
The original iMac G5 was designed to be repairable by the customer. You could even call Apple support and do free part exchanges under warranty.
I’m gonna say Tim Cook.
The way he signaled his authority was by sending out an email to the entire company announcing that he was expanding the company’s match program for employees who wanted part of their paycheck to go to NGOs. I thought that was a classy way of saying, “I’m in charge.” I had a lot of respect for that.
But his leadership with the App Store and regulators has been abysmal. He led Apple to make all the wrong moves, ensuring a (now active) fight with regulators instead of just making some small concessions voluntarily. It was completely unnecessary, but he just couldn’t help feeling entitled for Apple to do whatever it wants to make money. I still believe there are people in leadership positions who would choose to do the right thing, but the buck stops with Cook.
Apple might be worthy of my respect again when he’s gone.
Apple have always done what they wanted. In the Jobs era the biggest Apple Store in the world was on Regents Street in London, and Apple paid the local council vast fines each month because Jobs decided that the required illuminated fire exit signs would have ruined the carefully designed interior.
Wow, that’s terrible.
USA.
You used to be so cool
A butterfly complaining about change is low key really funny
Haha good point
Ughhhh, you used to eat all the leaves with me, what’s this “I want nectar” bullshit fad diet?
Google. Do no evil
This is something that bothers me. Every time something like this come up, there is a non-trivial crowd of people saying things like “no shit. In the right circle, everyone known for a long time”. Often they come with specific anecdotes that should raise all the red flags.
Well, I had no idea. Not a clue. And it’s not like I was not interested. I was fallowing his work, social media… live in general. He was a very close friend with a woman who was vocal about being an abuse victim. Nobody told her?
Even in the power of hindsight, when I was looking for articles or comments from the past, there was not a lot. I found like one, “there is nothing he wouldn’t do to lure a goth girl” (paraphrased), that got zero traction.
If there were signs, why did we let that happen? What can I do, not to fall for something like this again?
Neil Gaiman. He poisoned so much…
Hu? Oh No, do I want to know?
Predator.
:( - I’m super sorry for the women. Thanks
In 1994 Neil was at a signing at my university campus. It was a big to-do. My friend, a big fan, came for a signing and whispered a few words.
Suddenly Neil is vaulting the table trying to choke the living shit out of my friend. Friend’s backpedaling, eyes wide, Gaiman’s face a rictus of rage and fury, and then many people jump in and slow it down
Friendo booted, things calm down, minimal mention in the uni rag. Never learned what was said, but now I suspect it was a pretty badly-kept secret for a long time.
You friend didn’t tell you about what was said?
Institutions. Courts. Media. Religion. Law Enforcement. Politicians.
The institutions are captured. The courts, media, and politicians are corrupt. Bought and paid for. Law Enforcement are just class traitors. The enforcement arm of Capital. Protecting the interests of the ruling class and taking a bludgeon to the people. Religion is a tool of control. Used to control the ignorant and guide their ire.
Ironically this take is entirely self-validating, since this is the primary mechanism for that degradation.
Idk I’m starting to think dystopia began when we figured out agriculture
When aristocracy discovered mercantilism and mutilated it into capitalism.
Most life eats other life to live. It’s been a bad time from the very beginning.
Elon. Turns out he was always a conman and liar.
At one point, between 2021-2022 I had thought absolutely nothing of him and just thought of him as an eccentric rich person. Even wanted one of his “The Boring Company” flamethrowers because who wouldn’t want a flamethrower? Then comes the election and out comes his true colours. Now there’s no change in hell I’d support him.
So many people sabotage themselves by being bad people and going mask off.
I thought he was a great guy when he loaned those solar panels to the hospital in Puerto Rico. Then he bought Twitter and started firing employees, banning reporters, blocking the api so researchers couldn’t have access. This was the start for me. Jerk has only gotten worse.
The worshipping of the self-made man and entrepreneurship in popular American culture
I think I was just too young and fashionable, maybe I was one of those guys that saw themselves as a “temporarily embarrassed billionaire”… then got old enough to see through the nonsense
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Law. I was pretty hyped up when i went to university to study it, but the more i learnt on the foundations of it and discovered the people it created, the more i hated it. Now I’m doing completely different things, and i’m glad my parents didn’t force me to keep doing it.
Hulk Hogan