…unless you heat them up first, to kill the bacteria; two minutes on HIGH ought to do it.
You are a menace.
“RFK questions guidance on not putting spring rolls up your anus.”
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Is that him or the worm talking?
Maybe the worm likes spring rolls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is for a brain parasite to order takeout?
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It’s the fried ones that are the problem: crispy = sharp edges = torn bowel = septic shock = dead.
The fresh ones with the squishy exterior should feel much more like a penis going into your ass. Choose the sauce carefully - your entire GI tract has receptors sensitive to spiciness.
If you want to push the spicy level but not have a visit from Satan’s eyeball, they make this great barrier ointment called Ilex. Just, uh, you have to be careful not to glue your butt cheeks closed to most folk put some Vaseline on afters. Who knows, maybe they’ve fixed that but i last used it regularly when I wanted to belong to the nuclear taco club but couldn’t get Thursdays off, it’s been a minute.
First they invented great barrier reef, now they make great barrier ointment. My God what horrors and highlights, the hubris of humankind.
Best thing to do is just fry the egg rolls inside your bowels. First you coat your lower intestines with aluminum foil, then you shove in the egg rolls and pour in the hot oil.
Fuckin’ big pharma. I ain’t sticking Pfizer’s goddamn wantons up there, I’m sticking with PF Changs just like my paw-pee and his pee-paw before 'em.
Breaking news
Well DUH! It’s summer idiots.
I’m sure you can get frozen spring rolls
If only there was a better way…
Tik Tok challenges are really going to another level.
Bread 🥖
What goes up must always come down
Well excuse me for being a good host during my digital rectal exam.
He didn’t complain about the tea kettle at least, that’s just being hospitable
“Breaking news”
If I insert the spring rolls into my ass, will I shit them out from my mouth?
No. Secret third thing. If you find out, do not tell them.
I think there is only one way to find out…
If you put enough up there, sure.
You’d be like one of those PEZ dispensers.
just gonna leave this here https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/doctors-warning-people-not-insert-17802129
“I can almost recognize my bottom again” is an all time quote
The new sexually frustrated boomer trend
THIS IS AMERICA, GOD DAMMIT, THE LIBERAL MARXIST GLOBALISTS ARE TRYING TO CONTROL HOW I EAT MY FOOD, GO TO HELL YOU COMMIE BASTARDS
