Be an actual person. Have empathy. Have sympathy. Stop listening to Rogan, Peterson, stop doing Wim Hof baths, stop taking T when you don’t need it - focus on life, see nature, see the destruction of climate change, stop wanting to “get yours” and enjoy money and material goods in this life without caring about what impact these choices have to those who follow. Talk to women as peers and not sex objects. Join groups where the focus is not sex or angry fight club bullshit and meet people and get to know them slowly. Go to third spaces like coffee shops or local events - get out of your room and step away from the keyboard. This has become very hard for people. And FFS delete TikTok and Reddit.

So many people have become introverted and focus on hate and allow their homes, apartments, and lives to wither in benign neglect as they go deeper down the redpill rabbit hole. See someone. Go to therapy. Get the medications you need not the ones you want (T, stims, PEDs) - exception being if you actually have ADHD then stims might be appropriate but many men who want these meds do not have low T they do not have ADHD they have profound mood disorders and depression.

Unfortunately, in addition to being discouraged from camaraderie and bonding, many boys and young men are also discouraged from ever developing the emotional security needed to see, or outwardly acknowledge that they are lonely and suffering from their lack of connections to others beyond sex.

They are instead taught that any form of vulnerability (like acknowledging their unmet need for connection) is weakness they should be ashamed of because it’s unbecoming of a man

We really do men and boys a huge disservice :(. Sometimes you hear the idea that we should “teach men not to rape, rather than teach women to protect themselves”, but I’ve never heard anyone talk about how in practice what that would look like, is raising emotionally healthy and secure, interpersonally competent boys, who are equipped to handle difficult emotional situations and the hormones that will show up as teenagers.

I feel like this type of reply to the male loneliness epidemic (or y’know just the loneliness epidemic, since loneliness has been on the rise independent of gender) really does not give a shit about the people that experience loneliness by reducing them to the most horrible and loud of subset of them.

Sure, there are incels that will twist and turn every societal tragedy into why they are victims and deserve to keep hating women. But by listening to them and reducing the entire problem to hahaha, the women haters are getting what they deserve, you are just hurting everyone else.

Don’t try to be something you’re not.

I mean it also does mean the first thing tho no?

I don’t want to come across as a mysogynist or a misanthrope but this “It’s your fault that you’re lonely because you’re a trash human that nobody wants to sleep with” infuriates me, because I get that shit enough from my own head without it coming from outside as well.

I don’t want to just sleep with someone, I want to be able to comfortably enjoy my time with people I like and then maybe meet someone likeminded enough to build a relationship with.

I have a few friends, and spend time with them whenever I can, but 99% of my time is spent working or at home recovering from work.

I know there’s the whole “You have to get out there and socialise.” and “Get a hobby and you’ll meet new people.” But how does a single man even approach people without coming across as weird or creepy?

For obvious reasons I should probably clarify that I’m aware my brain doesn’t work like regular people’s do, and am probably doing the same shit as the old "people online; ‘Having throw pillows makes you part of the bourgeoisie’ / People irl; ‘Hey man how’s it going?’ " tweet, but god damn if it isn’t hard to have the confidence to meet people irl when all you see is things like the ‘bear in a forest’ trope and news stories about violent abusers reinforcing negative self bias.

Who knows. Maybe I just need to throw my nightmare rectangle off a cliff and buy a phone that only does 4 things, text, call, tell the time and play snake.

I…simply don’t know what to make of this. I’m a guy who finds himself thinking about the male loneliness epidemic a lot, and never in terms of finding a romantic/sexual partner. It’s always about solid platonic bonds outside of that and kin, and factors that make those harder to find and maintain these days.

Is this just a shitpost and I’m too stupid to get the joke?

That isn’t what people mean by it. Loneliness means loneliness.

Imagine what would happen if somebody said this about women. Are you lonely, ladies? Have you tried being enjoyable and relaxing? And you should smile more!

I don’t think it’s just about sex. I’m not even sure incels think that. I think it’s more about relationships and someone to share your life with. I know some people seem fine with just friends and casual sex, but I think a lot of people have a need, or strong “want,” for a close, deep, intimate relationship. I know I do at least. Even if it was just about sex, sex is pretty much a human need.

Personally, I have severe life-long social anxiety (and depression), so it’s always been very hard for me to make friends or meet potential partners. I have worked on my anxiety issue (medication, attempts at self help, though I could never afford therapy), and I am better than before (I used to sometimes get panic attacks just being around large groups of people), but it’s still severe enough to hinder me in life in general (and noticeable to people around me).

I got the opposite problem. I’m tall and fairly well built, so I have plenty of luck on the apps. But since I moved states, I can’t be fucked to find a friend. Literally just tried to arrange a “play date” and got cancelled on the moment I was about to knock on their door.

Maybe I’m just not likeable?

no, make loneliness epidemic is exactly what’s described in the first post. societal norms mostly hinder men from forming meaningful friendships with other men, and women as well. they’re discouraged from expressing feelings (maybe other than aggressive ones) and being vulnerable. i don’t know how you can form any relationships without doing either. and turns out you really can’t. hence a lot of men feel lonely.

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to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

As someone who spent a full seven years as a horny teenager, I’m afraid to report this is much more difficult than it sounds on paper.

But I’ll spot you something that can help a lot

close camaraderie and bonding between men

Honestly, the most success I’ve had with women was when I was surrounded by male friends who left me feeling relaxed and confident.

I mean, the answer is that it is both. Like, not having close friends sucks. And not getting laid sucks. And both are valid and legitimate things to complain about.

Like, honestly, the “skill issue” take is super toxic. It’s basically the same as telling a poor person that not being rich is a skill issue. The lack of understanding and compassion for peoples’ legitimate problems will only radicalize them further.

I’m tired of this bullshit attitude. It contributes to the very issues it diminishes. Men are allowed to have problems without being incels.