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IndridCold@lemmy.ca to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 month ago

Who got raptured today?

lemmy.ca

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Who got raptured today?

lemmy.ca

IndridCold@lemmy.ca to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 month ago
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  • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I missed something were we supposed to be raptured today?

    • Valmond@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      There is some wild pastor (from south Africa?) who “dreamt that jesus is coming. Soon.” Apparently it’s tomorrow to thursday. And then there is some sort of tribulation for 3.5 or 7 years or whatever.

      There is going to be lots of people “disappearing” during those two days, according to all this bullshit.

      I can’t wait 🥱😴

      • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Thank you! I was genuinely curious what happened

      • Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 month ago

        Occurring over a couple of days? Guess that finally answers my question on whether the rapture would happen planet-wide all at once, or go by time zones.

        • kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 month ago

          The real rapture will be over in a few hours once all of the bombs have gone off.

    • IndridCold@lemmy.caOP
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      1 month ago

      Not you.

      • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Fuck… I had it in my calendar for next Tuesday

        • IndridCold@lemmy.caOP
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          1 month ago

          On the plus side, you can feed my cat now.

          • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            I will abduction your cat

            • IndridCold@lemmy.caOP
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              1 month ago

              His name is Bitey. He’s very sweet but don’t get your face too close.

              • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
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                1 month ago

                I wanted extra facial piercings

                • ChonkyLincoln@lemmy.zip
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                  1 month ago

                  Still a better love story than Twilight

    • PNW clouds@infosec.pub
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      1 month ago

      Maybe you, but definitely not me.

      • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Jooooin ussss

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 month ago

      I wish… Would probably solve the American fascism problem overnight when all the Christians vanish

      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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        1 month ago

        Okay but then the real Christians are gone and all that’s left are the Christofascists

        • icelimit@lemmy.ml
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          1 month ago

          What would their excuse then be?

          • Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 month ago

            God selected them to prepare the earth for Christ’s return after the years of tribulation. Or some bullshit like that.

            • icelimit@lemmy.ml
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              1 month ago

              Shit, we best bend over and do what they say then

        • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          1 month ago

          I hate to break it to you…

          • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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            1 month ago

            I know, but I didn’t want you to get your hopes too high

  • Nikls94@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I got rap[tur]ed again

  • potoooooooo ☑️@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    ✋

  • chuckleslord@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

  • grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I was very disappointed at the gym this morning when I realized I didn’t have it all to myself.

  • Zannsolo@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    deleted by creator

  • PolydoreSmith@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Lemme tell ya, I have never been more raptured!

    Props on the username, OP

  • 🔍🦘🛎@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Maybe next time

  • Random_Character_A@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I just ruptured.

  • FreddiesLantern@leminal.space
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    1 month ago

    Leviticus commands us to stone the false prophets.

    These assholes are just out for free weed.

    • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      All the false prophets are currently unavailable for comment because they’ve been high AF the last couple days.

  • WanderWisley@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Not me I’ve been sinning since the 90’s.

  • Asidonhopo@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I feel like I may have had a near-miss

  • SuDmit@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 month ago

    Apparently this person https://vger.to/piefed.world/post/496315

  • cowfodder@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Technically not supposed to happen until the horns sound in Jerusalem, which will happen at sundown. I think we have a little bit longer before we can really mock these morons.

  • SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Who up rapturing their it?

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