At what point is someone responsible for what happens to them when they refuse to respect boundaries? (this could apply to parents, siblings, family, friends, exes, etc.).
If someone tells you—clearly and repeatedly—to leave them alone, that they don’t want you in their life, to stop showing up, stop contacting them, etc., and you ignore all of that… what do you expect is going to happen?
If you keep pushing, showing up uninvited, refusing to take “no” for an answer, and basically forcing your way into someone’s life (when they make it clear they don’t like you and don’t want you in their life multiple tomes and are Minding their own business not bothering you), and they eventually snap and start verbally going off on you—are they 100% in the wrong?
Yeah, being verbally abusive isn’t great. But at a certain point, you chose to keep putting yourself in that situation. You ignored every boundary that was set.
So do you actually “deserve” sympathy at that point? Or do you share responsibility for pushing things to that level?
Not only that, but why are you trying so hard to be in someone’s life that clearly doesn’t want you in it? It’s so annoying and pathetic, and it just loses sympathy points for me.
Not only that, but why are you trying so hard to be in someone’s life that clearly doesn’t want you in it? It’s so annoying and pathetic, and it just loses sympathy points for me.
It’s like people of color or LGBTQ+ individuals who are super MAGA conservative and “sell their own causes out.” They go to MAGA rallies and conservative spaces and then get a shocked Pikachu face when the people there treat them like shit. WHY ARE YOU THERE???
At what point is someone responsible for what happens to them when they refuse to respect boundaries?
The moment they ignore the boundary.
are they 100% in the wrong?
The person being told to fuck off is in the wrong if they keep pushing. There is no grey area.
We know you don’t have a great track record for sympathy Grim but some people end up in bad situations through no fault of their own.
There’s totally a gray area- if person A violates a boundary and person B bullies them into suicide, person B is not in the right and person A absolutely deserves sympathy. Person A still did something wrong, but that doesn’t make an inappropriately extreme response no longer inappropriate or extreme.
That said, I don’t know if there’s a lot more context that I’m missing and my example is far from what’s actually happening.
In that situation it sounds like both are in the wrong.
Yeah, definitely, that’s what makes it a gray area.
This one feels more like a rant, than a real question and that’s okay. :)
Human emotions are messy. Who says you can’t have pity and glee at the same time? You can be sad and kinda vindicated by other people behavior (stupidity).
You can still wish them to be happy - only really far from you.
Sympathy and empathy can be hard emotions to feel. So many layers of thinking are behind them. And some people not that good at empathy even when they try.
It os a mess, and you probably won’t find any answers on an internet forum / social media anyway :).
Tho they say loving kindness meditation helps to feel more connected and more empathetic towards fellow humans.Telling some one off for their shitty behaviour isn’t really verbal abuse. They are coming to you, so they can go and fuck off out of hearing range anytime they choose.