A set of keys that will open most of the doors in a certain national park. Turns out “government use only. Do not duplicate” doesn’t mean a whole lot to a crooked locksmith. My plan is to go test and see if they still work when I’m an old man. I won’t be surprised if they do

“Pasta fasul I am a fool” -Pope Formosus probably

Change your car’s oil often

Yes this is definitely something to keep on top of but don’t feel the need to do it too too often ex. Once a month assuming you drive a normal amount. Check the manual in your glove box and stick the recommended service interval. It should list miles driven and a length of time. Change it at which ever of those come first.

If you don’t like candidates wearing makeup then you’re going to be pissed about her opponent

One of my favorite parts of this is in the body camera footage of her being arrested (which is definitely worth a watch) she not only is resisting arrest, kicks one of the arresting officers, is ordering the cops around as if she is still in charge, and finally when she is being put in the back of a squad car says to the officer through tears:

“You’re assisting Merrick Garland” sniffle

Even while being arrested she’s peddling her conspiracy bullshit

Be unremarkable but no so unremarkable as to be in and of itself remarkable

Damn Alan’s bad boy identical twin brother who rides a motorcycle!

Maybe not the worst but the most recent one is my father in law. You know the type: baby boomer who had every advantage growing up but didn’t avail himself but still managed to eke out a comfortable life while working at the business his dad started and he inherited. He doesn’t take in the bucks but it allows him and my mil to own a comfortable home in an area that is only going up in value. Anyway…

As you can imagine super religious, super right wing, trump loving, gay hating (has a gay brother that he’s estranged from), you know… the usual. What gets me is remember trump did an interview a week or two ago where he said that all federal employees are “crooked and dishonest and must be held accountable”? He couldn’t agree more! Guess who my wife (his daughter) and I work for? Yeah…

Well this answers some questions

Can’t stop the signal…

I got to sit in one of the Batman Begins tumblers that was used for filming the movie(s). I used to work where I had easy access to one and early one morning when nobody was around I figured out how to open the door (hatch really over the driver seat) and climbed in. How cool it looked on the outside was unfortunately inversely proportional to how comfortable it was on the inside. Picture a NASCAR car and you’re most of the way there. Neat experience

Oh and also OP’s mom…

♫ Daddy would you like some sausage? ♫

Stop judging this poor baby, he already has the hardest life

I occasionally teach some training classes for my organization and one of my favorite things is to say that we’re going to play one of those ice breaker games, wait a beat, then say that we’re actually not going to do that because I hate them. Usually gets people to relax and open up a bit

I would take her out for ice cream

Ben Shapiro In disarray

Who are you and how did you get in here?

HELL YEAH MFER!

It’s fascinating seeing people who might as well have big signs on the backs of their vehicles that say “hey! My house is full of expensive stuff and I’m gone on the weekends!”