Great! Someone should write HomeAssistant integration!
“Hey, Google, I’m having sex!”
Google turns down the lights and turns on the balls.
The stereo starts playing Yakety Sax
Dude imagine getting hit with a groin shot with that fucking thing in your taint
I think I’d be more concerned if my hands were that small
wait till this comes with a monthly subscription
When Google wont give you back the API keys to the chastity electrodes
Wait won’t this turn off their brains? How will they breathe?
Wouldn’t compression of the tissue starve it if oxygen and cause necrosis?
What? Why would you permanently compress it?
TIL about the meme, but to continue hypothetically - any sort of pressure to either hold the ends of the type in the mechanism, or if the tube continues through the mechanism and a “pinch” is done to prevent flow.
Id do this if you could get LED ground effects attached to the bait&tackle, good for the dramatic reveal
Go full RGB, acquire “Gamer Balls”.
That’s this:
The RGB just makes you nut faster.
This is an idea from a book by john scalzi called starter villain.
This is the real reason Data doesn’t tell everyone where his off switch is.
That’s some Chobits shit.
I see two casings for switches. Do you have to toggle each ball individually or something?
Also, how do you remember which way to flip the switch? Can it get turned around?
I know, right? Do you just flip one and run at 50%?
Flip them on and off repeatedly to put them in pairing mode.
“FUCK, I came for longer than 5 seconds. Now I have to go through the factory reset AGAIN.”
“You’ve turned on sticky keys.”
Like others, I don’t have a use for my balls anymore. It sure would be nice to keep them around looking good though. But anyway, could I please just get the euphoria stimulus! I don’t really care for all the gooey mess.
This, but I want the voice command changed to “Go go gadget genitalia”
I’d just want the Super Mario power-up/power-down sound effects.
And when you insert it you hear the sound effect from when he goes down into a pipe.
And the underground theme plays while doing it. As you get closer, the sped up version plays.
I’m in a loud public place so I didn’t attempt clicking/listening, but I heard both those sounds/music in my head anyway. I spent too much time on that game as a kid.
Can you reset any of the voice assistants to respond instead of Siri or Alexa or Bixby or whatever to “go go gadget?”
Go go gadget dick
click
Before continuing, please accept the following terms and conditions… [35 pages of legalese ensue]
“you’re subscription will expire in 3 days. Renew now to avoid testicular incineration.”
Followed by 15mins of unsinkable ads
uBlock Origin -Iceberg edition-
Ya but can I have my switch installed near my taint?
Careful what you wish for
(👁 ͜ʖ👁)
This seems more practical for a temporary birth control for men.
Still under development, but works like a microscopic net to prevent sperm from exiting and can be dissolved later if you do decide to have kids.
An even better birth control is Arch Linux. It’s free and open source. I use Arch btw.
As a fake internet doctor this is all I need to diagnose you as STi free
Actually you’ll need to cum 3-5 times with the switch off to eliminate the chances of impregnating someone!
It’s that way when having a vasectomy
When I got a vasectomy, it was like 20 before they wanted to do a fertility test.
That was the hardest part of the whole procedure. It took like 3 hours for the doctor to make me cum that many times.
Someone has made porn of this somewhere
ಠ_ಠ
