every time we go out to eat, I take like two bites and feel like throwing up, and I’m not one to get nauseous easily. this only started when we started dating (wed been best friends for 3 years or so up until that)
its not new food, I’ve been to these places many times before
Maybe she’s poisoning you just a tiny bit at a time. Kidding, but have you guys eaten a meal at home together without you feeling sick?
not really, she came over once and we ate like polish crepes i made, and that was fine, but not much of a meal, no
I would try that a few more time, the fact that you were doing something will help with any anxiety
Placebo effect?
Maybe you got a touch of food poisoning one of the first times and now you subconsciously associate it with date nights?Fun fact! When the effect on your health is negative instead of positive it’s known as the nocebo effect.
…
Well, I thought that fact was fun…
Go to the same restaurants at the same time under the same conditions (i.e. how recently you ate another meal, day of the week, the weather, etc.) but with a different person and see if you still feel ill. Vary the conditions until you find one that correlates with your illness. Then try altering that condition.
If you feel ill under all conditions then see a doctor. In fact it might be good to make a doctor appointment anyway.
yeah good idea honestly
But babe, we have to go out tonight. It’s for science!
“You’re not my sidechick, you’re my control condition!”
“I know you’re sick of it, but I’m gonna need you to get the chicken Parm again. Trust the process!”
Isolating variables like this is so cool!
unit testing eating?
Try cooking dinner at home together and see if it happens.
It’s because you’re pregnant.
But on all seriousness, some say that there are cases when the would-be-father also feels nauseous with food when the girl gets pregnant.
Studio audience: OOOOOOOO!!!
Pregante.
am I gregnant?
Is you prefnet?
can u burn a luigi board?
don’t think that’s a possibility currently
very interesting tho
It’s possible they changed their recipe to include something you may be allergic to or it’s a new allergy
I don’t have an answer, but congrats on being one of the few to break that friendship zone barrier
thanks mate
Maybe there’s something you need to get off your chest. Maybe you feel like you’re not being true to yourself.
If you feel like something needs to change in your relationship, better to put it out there and work through it than keep it hidden.
I have a similar issue sometimes. I feel like I get overstimulated by smells in restaurants… Also I’m lazy so I eat boring food at home, so maybe the variety contributes to the nausea.
Also I’m celiac, which definitely doesn’t help.
Are you just really nervous about being on a date?
I don’t think so? but that could be a factor I suppose
Are there awkward pauses during your dinners? Do you think about things to talk about beforehand?
I guess maybe try to observe what happens just before you get sick each time.
we’ve been friends for long enough that there’s never really any awkward silence
silence, sure, but not awkward
Your brain has a mind of its own!
As does your gut!
Maybe she’s poisoning you to get even for not asking her out earlier.
haha maybe
Maybe you’re spending money you shouldn’t. Also, maybe youre spending your heart when you shouldn’t.
My first thought is that there’s something about those first couple of bites that triggers the anxiety. Could be subconscious (well, it is subconscious currently if you’re unaware of a cause).
Are there any particular thoughts that occur when the meal arrives? Even thoughts that occur only briefly to be replaced by others?
I’ll have to pay more attention to that I suppose
This was my first thought. Being pretty poor most of my life, I’ve had that “oh-shit” gut-punch when going out to eat a lot of times. Money problems suck.
Is this one of those “red flags” people keep talking about?
Did you sign up for any life insurance policies with her recently? Add her to your will? Is she currently borrowing something and has mentioned “jokingly” about how she’d really like to keep it?
Not a high probability, mind you, but since the subject was raised…
she does have my hoodie right now…
She really likes her new hoodie.
Perfume?
Ok, that helps. Still I think to look at what happens just before might help.
It’s called an anxiety attack. Talk to a therapist about it.
too poor for therapy lol (I need it but womp womp)
I’ve heard great things about these self-help tools from the Australian Centre for Clinical Interventions: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Social-Anxiety
Then journal. Dump your thoughts onto paper, consider and reconsider. Just write out what you think. It can be a text file, a paper notebook with pen, whatever. Just write a lot.
yeah that could help, I’ve just always been a “bottle it up and call it a day” kind of guy
dunno, my mental health has been improving now that I’m out of school honestly so well see
I find it helpful sometimes to write down the negative shit then wad it up and throw it away or burn the paper.
Seriously, journaling has been extremely helpful, I only started doing it after I started talking to a professional (other than a few classes in school) and it makes our talks infinitely more productive. It really really really helps me organize my thoughts and emotions in a way that just letting the day wash over me and rolling with with it does not.
You need time to process your thoughts and feelings. You can effectively “mini” counsel yourself just by stepping back and getting a different perspective. Words are powerful things and when you’re forced to slow down and try to summarize the incredibly complex emotional/psychological feelings we all have every day it can help you deal with things and give you insight into yourself, it’s a very powerful tool we can all use.
Don’t bottle it up. Decades of experience talking here. Do what you can to come to terms with your feelings, thoughts, etc. Then find a job that has good mental health care and see a therapist.
Advice: you will likely need to try out a couple before you find the right one. When you’re comfortable with someone, you’ll know.
Except for at the beginning of dinner dates.
Do you at least acknowledge it’s psychological? That unless she’s dosing your first bite with ipecac, there’s no physical reason to feel nauseous during the first couple bites of dinner dates?
Don’t bottle up. That was the whole point of Inside Out. You have to experience the emotions.
That does not sound like an anxiety attack.
Nausea is a common symptom. Maybe you haven’t experienced it but it doesn’t mean it’s not a symptom for others.
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Whilst i dont agree with them that this is an anxiety attack (although it does sound like it’s potentially related to anxiety or nerves) i dont think it’s fair to put them down for “playing psychic doctor” as you put it.
OP came to lemmy to ask for people to help them determine the cause of this problem. They are asking people to, at least in some way, “play doctor”
I k ow there is little information to go on but for all.we know the person your replied to might actually be a doctor and GPs do telephone appoi tments where you tell them your symptoms and they diagnose over the phone.
This isn’t a far stretch from that. I just think a lot of assumptions have been made here, and therefore, you aren’t much better than the “doctor” you are responding to.
(Having said all that, they blew a gasket whe you called them out, so perhaps they are a little too sensitive to be someone who needs composure, like a doctor)
Op asked for advice here. This isn’t a free for all to go accuse everyone willing to give advice as ‘playing doctor’. That’s straight up troll behavior.
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What the fuck is up with this kind of behaviour on Lemmy tonight? So many people flying off the handle at the slightest hint of disagreement.
You need to chill the fuck out. Also, if they’re a world-class projector they should open a drive-IN not a drive-thru. This is cringy ass behaviour. Smh
“I disagree! Also: rape.”
Anxiety is a possibility, even if you aren’t actively feeling it. This is a good opportunity to seek help from a professional, even if it’s nothing related to that.
haha I’m too poor for therapy
Maybe try a cannabis edible about an hour before you’re planning to eat? Offer her one too
not a fan of weed, gives me panick attacks lol
Less THC, more CBD.
In fact, CBD gummies are probably better anyway. You don’t want to be high all the time when you’re with your gf.
