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The Bacon Bouquet
So a real man let their choice dominated by another man?
Real men link up to the hive mind.
Don’t give away ideas like that while Neuralink lives
And Bee a Manliest Manly Man and twerk at your enemy!
sticking out your gyat for the rizzlerrrrr
I saw MAN CARD in the thumbnail and legitimately thought it said MAN CHILD and didn’t even question it.
Which would be so much funnier. Wanna fuck with me? A certified MAN CHILD?
Can’t stand any of these masculinity targeted products. Also don’t flush any product down the toilet other than toilet paper. Those wipes clog sewers.
Real MEN don’t touch their buttholes, they use a bidet. Check out now biMAN, equipped with a power hose so no grime gets left behind.
According to my proctologist, we Americans are cruel to our butts with over-use of toilet paper.
Never wipe but dab. Use a bidet. Start with a travel bidet, which is $5-$20, and you can fill them with warm water. Rinse liberally and dab, repeat until clean.
Don’t worry about manliness. Being nice to your hemorrhoids is the adult thing to do.
By Karcher
Dude, bidets and ass showers in combination with shaved butthole is a hygienic must for hairy folks.
Dingleberry cultivation is no involuntary hobby anyone should have.
Dingleberry farmer is now in my lexicon of insults
How do people even find such a shop
They’re the type of people who click on Facebook ads
A man’s music collection should consist of classic rock, country and blues
Does this give anyone else boomer vibes? Also, I suspect this is trying to invoke the Progressive Rock of the 1970s (Kansas, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, The Eagles, Supertramp, etc.) and not Buddy Holly, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin or, you know, Elvis, The Beatles and the Rolling Stones
But then my man card expired in the early 1990s.
How? o_O
I think the “[all pronouns]” in their user name should give you a hint.
Got to renew it every six years
Starting from puberty
My birth certificate is proof enough that I’m a man. Now give me my strawberry Herbal Essences! 💪😡
Ohhhh YEEEEES…
Is there anything more manly than washing clothes?
Washing the dishes with your manly muscles 😭🧽🫧
What does a real need a bottle opening for? Just rip it off with your bare hands.
Real men use a bidet anyway.
And not because it’s objectively better than wipes. ;)
REAL MEN LICK THEY OWN ASS CLEAN
Well, some people say men are basically just dogs and I guess if some of us can lick our own assholes, that’s further proof.
Society if men could lick their own assholes:
Nothing productive would be done all day.
True…
Don’t forget your tactical Christmas stocking this holiday season! 💪
The whole tactical-style-for-not-tactical-thing makes me rage. Not because it exists, but because it’s been picked up by the wrong demographic.
That sort of thing should belong to the realm of the ironic, and be worn by the person who has a bad joke to go with it.
Tactical baby carrier should be for the fun dad who uses it to make jokes about how you otherwise might notice the baby, and not the fragile guy who needs a shield to defend his masculinity in the face of raising his children.
It’s like so much of these things started as a gag, and then got picked up by people who aren’t in on the joke.
Tactical baby carrier should be for the fun dad who uses it to make jokes about how you otherwise might notice the baby
It still can be. The fun dad with tactical gear will reveal his fun-ness quickly enough. If the baby’s binky is tactical black, but the multi-tool is Barbie™ pink, it might be a clue.
Heh, very true. It just messes up the first impression which is where the clothing jokes have the best impact. Never as fun if people take time to get to know you before getting the joke your appearance made.
Only classic rock, country, and blues are manly? I didn’t know metal, rap, and military marches were for little girls
Ska and punk are part of the woke trans agenda
Actually the woke and trans movements are emergences of what Ska and Punk was doing decades ago.
Ska is what plays in a 10 year old boys head when he gets extra mozzarella sticks.
What kind of ska? First wave? Two tone? Third wave? Ska punk? Whatever the hell Streetlight is?
Having been a ten year old that got extra mozzarella sticks, I’m pretty sure what I heard was the opening fanfare to Sell Out by Reel Big Fish. High energy, lots of horns.
It’s a slippery slope. I heard if you listen to too many sea shanties you will start aggressively lactating.
~Babe, wake up! New feminization technique just dropped~
Everyone knows Wu-Tang is for the children.
As a guy, real masculinity is being comfortable with your gender and not becoming uncomfortable because someone else expresses theirs.
Guys, we’re workers, and problem solvers. We’re also so many more things like fathers, sons, brothers and friends. Masculinity as a concept is outdated. Adapt, overcome, persevere. That’s all you need.
Anyone telling you that you’re unmanly because you have, or don’t have something, or because you do, or don’t do something, is either a fool, or selling you something.
Be a man, ignore their bullshit.
As a guy, I would like to thank you for this advise.
I am a man, therefore everything I do is masculine.
You know the most masculine activity I can think of? Going to the beach and digging a hole in the sand.
Man card bottle opener
lol he has to use a special tool to open his bottles. Table edge is right there tough guy… or literally any hard object you can get about an inch of leverage with (so not your dick ayo), Belt buckle is possible, doesn’t even have to be a special one. Keys, a dollar bill, lighter, principle doesn’t change too much between them. Hell even your wedding ring… oh… awkward.
Their dick is probably too small to be useful anyways, regardless of supposed “hardness”.
Body shaming isn’t necessary. We can shame people for things that are within their ability to control.
Is that what we’re calling it now? Insulting someone’s “manhood” is now “body shaming”?
You are literally shaming the bodies of people who have small penises, something that they cannot control which is not any indication of their character.
Yes.
If you’re really willing to take a risk, you can do it with your teeth. I wouldn’t recommend doing this, but I would recommend telling these people it’s “manly” to do so.
Dollar bill?
https://www.wikihow.com/Open-a-Beer-Bottle-with-a-Dollar-Bill
also works for any random piece of paper but dollar feels like more of a flex, like lighting a cigar with a burning hundo (except you’re not out a hundo after)
“A man’s music collection should consist out of classic rock and country. …… oh yeah and also blues. See we ain’t racist we added black music”
Lol bet they mean Eric “non-whites should be deported” Clapton and not BB King.
