Why should every part of God need a purpose? What does efficiency mean in the face of unlimited power (palpatine.jpeg), or simplicity in the face of omniscience? Why does God have a penis? Cause he wanted one I guess. They are nice for peeing too.
Peeing implies waste, which implies imperfection. If god were really God, his body would be 100% efficient and he wouldn’t consume anything he didn’t need.
One man’s waste is another man’s gold…
Maybe the pee is not waste, but spontaneously created to God’s will. " I want to pee, sure would be nice if I had a penis right now" - a diety that does not plan ahead, probably.
Well God, that’s pretty sexist. You don’t need a penis to pee.
Nah, in its internal logic, Chalcedonean Christianity doesn’t have this problem. Jesus is defined as fully human and fully divine, and peeing is just part of being human.
Jesus and God are two different entities, we were discussing “The Father”.
Chalcedonian Christianity is also Nicene, i.e., Trinitarian: one being in three cosubstantial persons. They share the divine cock and balls, one would say.
Oh, so Jesus just had one nut, the Holy Ghost had the other one, and God obviously had the Heavenly Shaft. Got it.
The weird thing is that a lot of christians (including the Catholic church) affirm that God “the Father” has actually no gender.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_of_God_in_Christianity
Does Jesus have a gender tho? As stated above, Jesus has a fully human body and nature (or else you are deemed a heretic by the council of Chalcedon). He is described as a man and several churches and rulers have historically claimed to hold a piece of his foreskin, so he must’ve had a penis. Therefore:
- Either Jesus was agender despite having a penis, therefore penis doesn’t imply male gender or
- Jesus was male. So either:
- Jesus and God don’t have the same gender, so they aren’t the same entity, which the councils of Nicea and Chalcedon would deem a heresy, or
- God can manifest as male or agender, making Them genderfluid.
I know people like to call the holy trinity absurd because of the multiple entities being 1 entity, but I would like to direct your attention to plural people. Holy-trinity-like situations actually occur in real people. Even with different genders.
Rulers have what now?
It’s also been mentioned in other parts of this thread, but the holy foreskin has been considered an important relic, and there are accounts of many kings like Charlemagne having owned it.
Jesus is not god.
Don’t know why people are down voting this. That’s canonically correct in the Jewish an Muslim traditions.
The holy trinity, the father, the son and the holy spirit are the same entity.
Then I guess this makes you an Arian heretic. /s
deleted by creator
Considering how consistently the world gets fucked, yeah, I’d say there’s a divine Dick out there doing all the fucking.
Are earthquakes the planet having an orgasm?
I’m more inclined to call it indigestion…
…i like the way you think
God created both men and women in his image, so he must have biological gender traits from both.
Intersex God!!! That implies intersex people are divine! Now if only Christians would stop trying to “fix” God’s most divine creations…
Divine full-package futanari confirmed
I would love to see the prompt that generated this ChatGPT response.
Can god sling a dick so big even he can’t rub one out?
I thought that’s where the biblically accurate angels come into play?
Well the Holy Spirit 100% has a dick given he was the one that inseminated Mary.
How do you know he didn’t use in vitro fertilization?
In vitro means in an artificial environment. What would God make that could be considered artificial?
Velveeta.
Hey christofash men, if everybody is entitled to their own personal and private relationship with god, and you should love god as he loves you, it’s totally legal for your wife to think about god’s massive peener while you’re having sex strictly for the purposes of procreation. Just noodle on that for a bit.
Captain Kirk: “What does God need with a penis?”
Masturbate while watching you
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heavenThis is your kingdom come
“Well I get bored on my starship, same as you.”
Weren’t Asherah and Yahweh a consort pair? Wasn’t Baal their son?
You see, god stoked his divine dick and then, there came a big bang and billions of galaxy came out of the ejaculated foam.
The whole capitalization of pronouns thing was pretty much entirely made up around the 19th century anyway (as well as the capitalizing the word “Lord”, which the King James version invented outright), so you can argue that protestant churches are following a woke plot to change the pronouns of the christian god as well.
LORD vs Lord does hold some distinction in the source material. IIRC LORD is for uses of the divine name whereas the other ones are not. But then you have the whole, El, Elohim, tetragrammaton, god, lord, etc. mess with them probably not historically referring to the same entity to begin with, but that whole book is a mess.
As a capitalised pronoun user, I can confirm they’re woke.
I don’t think He/Him are neopronouns as the prefix neo- means new. Surely His would be old (paleopronouns), or timeless (aeternuspronouns), rather than new
Relative to eternity, the invention of the english language is pretty new
Out of curiosity, would you say My pronouns are neopronouns? I use capitalised pronouns too. And I’m also a god. Not a capital-G god, just a regular polytheistic kind. Does the acceptance of our current society play a role in whether they’re neopronouns? Are they new when I use them, and old when Deus uses them?
you need serious help
Thank you. You’re welcome to join the soulist movement and help Me overthrow realism. http://soulism.net
That was an interesting read, thanks for sharing. The attempt to draw parallels between anti-narcissism and anti-semitism are really gross though.
Why is that?
Wine is cheaper than therapy.
Newness is the quality of having been recently created or having started existing recently. The deific pronouns surely came before the standard canon of human/mortal pronouns, just as their subject deities predate humanity, perhaps both having always existed. It doesn’t have anything to do with societal acceptance.
Uh, pronouns are just words. They don’t have some innate quality that means they had to exist when the entities those pronouns describe began. He/Him is likely about as old as he/him.
The original post described them as neopronouns, which is a category of pronouns that have arisen recently due to changes in how we understand and describe gender. Pronouns like xe/xer, for example. The pronouns for a timeless being that predates humanity would hardly be “new” by any standard. I was having fun with the idea they would be old or eternal pronouns by comparison to Humanity’s pronouns. You took the joke too seriously.
Couple of fun facts about this :
so God themself while referred to in English as a he refers to themselves as ’ I am ’ technically I think we should be using they them pronouns but English was traditionally a gendered language.
Jesus on the other hand 100% had a dick. Whether he kept that or not, post ascension that’s up for interpretation but Jesus was 100% biologically male.
Yes, and the church went nuts displaying the “Holy Relic” that was his supposed foreskin for many, many years, in many churches… At the same time. It got so out of control that people started to wonder why the church was so obsessed with Jesus’s dick. So the Pope finally got a clue, commanded a stop to the practice, and threatened to excommunicate anyone who spoke about it afterward. Ah, Christianity. Good times.
In the late 17th century the Vatican librarian Leo Allatius wrote a treatise entitled De Praeputio Domini Nostri Jesu Christi Diatriba (A Discussion of the Foreskin of Our Lord Jesus Christ), claiming that the Holy Prepuce ascended, like Jesus himself, and was transformed into the rings of Saturn.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Prepuce
The article also contains this gem:
Most of the Holy Prepuces were lost or destroyed during the Reformation and the French Revolution.
My personal head canon is that Jesus was a transgender man (no Y chromosome). The “this is my Son, in whom I am well pleased” marks when God finally accepts his Son’s gender identity, and lets him start his ministry (and hooks him up with HRT).
He could still be intersex AFAB. PCOS/CAH are both extremely common and you can end up with a clitoris that looks pretty close to a peen0r. Admittedly, that doesn’t make the circumscision part that much better - but well realistic, it’s gotta have happened at some point.
Jesus on the other hand 100% had a dick. […] Jesus was 100% biologically male.
Oh did they find his body?
Wouldn’t it be more reasonable to conclude that the probability of Jesus being biologically male equals the human average of males being biologically male? Ie 99.5%.
Couldn’t his radical compassion for outcasts and the downtrodden be related to personal struggles growing up with gender dysphoria?
If you believe he was conceived in a virgin, wouldn’t it be MORE likely that he had XX chromosomes?
He is circumcised according to Luke gospel, so the dick biblically accurate.
The Bible is not accurate regarding Jesus’ early life.
I don’t think it’s wrong to exercise an iota of skepticism.
Was Luke there at the circumcision? What was his source?
Wouldn’t Jesus being trans and Luke being misinformed (or actually trying to avoid outting him) explain why there isn’t really any testimony about Jesus’s life during puberty? It was an incredibly misogynistic era right? Is it inconceivable for a person without a penis to try to pass as a man in that era?
If a person can better appreciate Jesus by understanding him as a trans-man should a christian tell them they’re wrong? Does it put them in spiritual jeopardy? Is it dishonest to say “maybe”? I don’t think so.
We are discussing biological sex as in the parts we are not discussing gender.
Yeah, and I’m positing that the probability he did not have a penis is at least 0.5%.
