You must log in or register to comment.
I can’t get the ur-eye-nal pronunciation from disco elysium out of my head
When I lived in Japan, I really appreciated how the women’s public bathroom stalls often had this little button you could push to make a white noise sound.
So glad I got over that peeing in public anxiety eventually, though.
This hits me deep. I will often walk into a bathroom and walk right out if I see too many people. I’ll either find a quieter bathroom or just hold it because it’s physically impossible for me to pee if I can sense anybody within close proximity. Sadly, that applies to stalls too.
Something I’ve been doing as a kid is just counting slowly. I don’t know if it’s distracting to be thinking of counting or what but usually by the time I get to like 8-10 I’ll start going. That and no one wants to stand next to someone just randomly counting. Lol I don’t really do it out loud, I do count in my head and it seems to work.
Kind of a double edge though because if I get to 20 I start thinking like the comic lol
Lol when holding it is not an option, I’ll try singing the ABCs in my head and similarly when I get to Z and have to repeat it is when I start to panic.
The only evidence of the “grand gay conspiracy” people keep talking about is the existence of bath-tub (multi-user) urinals.
I would have thought trough over tub… but i guess that depends entirely on the type of multi-user you’re going for…
I haven’t seen one of those since I was a kid when my redneck racist homophobic dad would drag us to the dirt track to watch other drunk rednecks race each other in their first track cars… Hang on…
Yea nah, that is not a sexy situation.
It’s very sexual. All that pee in the trough where you can dip your bread. It’s very elegant, very European https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soupeur
Is there a rule that men can’t go into a stall and pee?
No, maybe, I don’t know, if there is it’s unspoken and unenforced because I’ve been doing it for years and no one ever complained to me.
Some people think they’re saving a bunch of time by using a urinal over a toilet but honestly it’s 5-6 seconds at most if you use it the same as you would a urinal, no sitting down, no pulling your pants all the way down, etc.
Blasphemy!
By the order of men I hereby banish you to the women toilets.
There’s a concept of a “shy guy” that isn’t “confident enough” to pee comfortably at a urinal so it’s not so much that you can’t pee in a stall, it’s that for those that are already concerned about the issue in the comic they’d be concerned about being thought of as a “shy guy” too.
I feel this comic so much that of all the things I’ve seen on the internet this really got a good laugh out of me. I know no one really cares about you peeing, but there’s a part of me that thinks kind of like what is displayed here.
I’m a stealth trans man and use a stall. No one gives a shit. I’ve had “I have a medical condition and need a stall” prepped for years, but never has anyone even gave me a passing glance. It’s annoying to wait when I’m about to piss myself and someone is camping in the lone stall, but the only real rule of the men’s bathroom is “don’t acknowledge anyone’s presence.”
Just don’t shake it more than twice while its in your hand and the police needn’t be involved
No matter how many times you shake it, the last drop will still end in your pants
Press up on your taint. Helps much!
Are you not into taints!?
No not in to your taint, on your taint.
Tust du schütteln oder stoßen - der letzte Tropfen geht in’d Hosen. Ancient German proverb.
Urinals should definitely exist because they speed things up a ton. If you’re too shy to piss into a urinal just go to the shitter instead. But don’t dare try to take the speed and convenience away from the rest of us, goddammit!
Where else is my uncle going to tell me what should have happened at state if he got first string?
Do you think that you need to pull your pants all the way down and sit to use a toilet to pee, if not what are you doing in the stall that wastes a ton more time? It’s not much slower from my experience just do it the way you would a urinal, with the only difference being that you have a door and real walls.
The speed comes from space efficiency. Instead of one stall you can have three urinals (idk the conversion rate, but you get the point)
THANK YOU!
Too real, too real.
Yes this is way to real.
I don’t mind urinals. It just sucks when you have to double or triple up on them. Sharing with someone else just isn’t fun
“Nice watch”
I lived in a house once that had a urinal and it was the best thing ever, especially for the first pee of the day. Normalize home urinals!
All houses have at least one urinal. The cool thing is, you’re also able to wash your hands in it afterwards!
Yeah no, other people use that thing to put their hands, toiletries and so on
It was a joke
Still, disgusting
An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scottishman walk into a bar and immediately begin urinating into their foam seats.
“What are you doing!?” exclaimed the barman.
The Irishman zips up and relies, “it is my Celtic birthright to mark my territory from foreign invaders.”
The Englishman zips up and replies, “it was like that when I got here”.
The Scottishman zips up and replies, “what does it look like I’m doing you daft cunt?”
Duh
I just pee outside.
Use a urinal while wearing shorts and you’ll change your opinion. I avoid them as much as I can preferring to sit, but sometimes that option is worse than the urinal…
Well, it doesn’t work so well with morning wood, but at all other times I aim toward the bottom so the pee’s hitting the back wall at less than about a 30° angle. I guess compared to sitting there’s gonna be more splash back, but even with shorts I don’t really notice anything. I’m sure it’d be different if you power blast the wall or base at 90°.
Maybe it depends on the urinal? In the US I have seen urinals that basically reach from the floor to your waist, which I imagine involves some splashing. Here in Europe I’ve only seen the ones that are way smaller, around waist height.
Those aren’t so common due to cost. But those have the advantage of allowing someone who is tall and someone who is short to be able to comfortably pee.
My trick for dealing with “blushing bladder” is a Palovian response on myself. I realized I had certain pee triggers. Long story short, there are certain places and situations that cause me to need to urinate. So I figured why not use a word as a trigger? While at home I began saying the trigger word just as I felt the flow begin. Every time I pee, I say the word. My blushing bladder went away. Some of the music venues i frequent have urinals literally elbow to elbow so it’s awkward but there’s no trouble when I say the trigger word. The only problem now is people look at me weird when I’m looking at my dick saying “shazam”.
Gomer, is that you?
Surprise, surprise, surprise!
I do the same type of thing, but I just swish saliva around in my mouth. For some reason that gets my mind off it and next thing I know, I’m peeing.
Hey now that gives me an idea… SHAZAM! SHAZAM! SHAZAM!
You gotta get up close and say it to his dick.
I read on reddit one time—years and years ago—that doing simple multiplication can help occupy the part of your brain keeping you from pissing. A sequence like 2x2=4, 4x4=16, 16x16=256…etc.
I’ve been doing that ever since, and it really helps. Usually by the time I get to doing 16x16 in my head, I’m already peeing.
I just push really hard and force the pee out like a fucking man.
This cartoon can’t exist. Urinal etiquette requires:
That you should have one empty urinal between you and the next guy if at all possible. And always go to the nearest open urinal when you enter.
And that you look straight ahead and never look to either side of you. You must stare solely at the wall straight ahead of you. Thoughtful establishments hang pictures or current sales flyers at eye level to look at while peeing.
And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there. So there is absolutely no way this cartoon can happen in the real world.
There are plenty of dudes at the bars and ballgames who try to sneak a peak
if at all possible
I hate that I’m arguing the reality of a comic world, but we can’t see the rest of the wall. We don’t know if there’s 2/3 urinals total, making it impossible to leave a buffer urinal between them.
Also, without considering it a “rule” I leave an empty urinal between as well, but I don’t go as far as resorting to using a stall if I only have to pee. That’s just silly…
In fact we do know that there’s someone else in the room - otherwise who is the old man talking to?
A silly comic often leads to a silly discussion. Sometimes you just need to run with it. Or in the words-- Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.
And always go to the nearest open urinal when you enter.
I usually go to the one closest to the wall. It seems comfier
And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there.
I’m not stopping the chat with my bro just because I have a dick in my hand I’m pissing. I have shit to say
And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there.
I’m not stopping the chat with my bro just because I have a dick in my hand I’m pissing. I have shit to say
I’d also like to say that some of the funniest things I’ve ever heard have been uttered by a random at a urinal.
Because everyone everywhere always follows etiquette without fail?
In the men’s bathroom, violating any of these rules of etiquette brings the death penalty.
death peenalty
I cover big public board meetings as part of my job, and when I go on breaks, I tend to use the bathroom, because I am a person. Without fail, someone will come in and talk to me while I’m pissing. I don’t personally care, I was in the Marines for a bit and they beat all of that out of you (i.e., a room with eight toilets and that’s it, no walls, nothing, just eight toilets, four on each wall so you can face each other). Regardless though, I never walk in and talk to someone randomly, so it’s strange to me that others do it to me. I guess I just look like a nice guy.
Dem’s the rules…Follow them or become the outcast.
Jes it is an instinct, written into the Male DNA…
I’m a guy who can pee confidently for minutes and I always like to look around when peeing. Oh, and I’ll get the urinal that’s the closets to you, that way I don’t have to scream when I’ll start a discussion with you. Yes, I’m a bit of a pervert.
You are either a republican or a pervy pervert.
./
Might be both
I agree with all of this except the “always go to the nearest urinal.” I don’t think it matters which you go to as long as you follow the pattern that allows for the maximum number of urinals to be filled while leaving a one-urinal gap between you and the next person.
Let me explain:
🚽 = urinal, 🚹 = person peeing
You have the following setup:
🚽 | 🚽 | 🚽
Correct urinal to occupy:
🚹 | 🚽 | 🚽 OR 🚽 | 🚽 | 🚹
Incorrect:
🚽 | 🚹 | 🚽
Notice how the correct solution allows for a second urinal to be occupied while still maintaining the courtesy urinal between. The incorrect solution doesn’t.
You’re kidding yourself. The norm in American bars is to have two urinals whose porcelain touches, and everyone pees with their buddy while having a boisterous chat.
You must spend a fair amount of time in bars to be so wise. Bars and even restaurants have limited floor space so they can often have just one urinal and you wait your turn. And I have never had anyone even try to talk to me in a bar or restaurant restroom. Why would they? We are there to drink and eat, not discuss philosophy.
You have not peed in enough bars, friend. Once the conversational juices get flowing, people sometimes follow you in to the toilet to keep the conversation going.
People have often tried to strike up conversations in bathrooms when I was clubbing. In their defence, I did look like a drug dealer at the time.
They are so close. It’s actually better to put your arm around the guy next to you to make sure you’re good and centered to the urinal.
Or it’s a country bar and you have to pee in a common trough.
Ah, the ol’ honky tonk urinal that is just a rain gutter hung at an angle with a hose dribbling into the high side.
I do not miss small towns.
The Joe in Detroit still had those. I made sure to use it one last time during the last Red Wings game I went to there. Fun fact, they sold them before demolishing the Joe. I see one went for $55. Man, I could have had a piece of history in my basement.
Well…I have paruresis and it was a struggle when I used to go to nightclubs and use the urinals, for some reason there was always only one toilet and a bunch of urinals, so I had to get drunk fast to be able to use the urinals like a normal guy. Most of the time the bathroom door didn’t have a lock, so I’m glad I never had to do number 2 there.
This would be more realistic for me is the guy next to me had to squint
