When I was a teenager, I thought people in their 20’s were the most attractive. Now that I’m about 40, I still think people in their 20’s are the most attractive. It’s hard for me to believe that I might ever be attracted to someone past retirement age, even when I’m past retirement age myself, unless the person is like one of those celebrities who look way younger than they are.
This isn’t something I can comfortably ask most older people I know, but there’s one man who admits that he isn’t and one woman who is. Which is more normal?
There is a reason why retirement homes and nursing facilities are the #2 highest locations for STIs, behind college campuses.
I’ve heard that statistic but it doesn’t match what I’ve seen in my own family. My grandparents weren’t physically intimate with each other even when I was a kid and they were relatively young. (I lived with them so I would have noticed if they ever wanted private time together, and they never did.) This, combined with the fact that many people in nursing homes are in no condition to actually have (consensual) sex, makes me wonder if the explanation for that statistic is not as straightforward as it seems.
I have family in the medical field (ER nurse and travelling nurse). The ER nurse said that the younger people come in with sex-related traumatic injury more, but the older people come in with more STIs.
The travelling nurse frequents rehab facilities (nursing homes) for both mentally handicapped and geriatric care. He said that there is a very similar amount of STIs between both facilities, basically meaning that they are getting physical about the same amount.
As a 40 year old male I find that character becomes a bigger factor, even if it sounds cheesy. Sure, a hot but bland 20 something can be attractive and that will not change, but I would rather spend my time with an interesting 60 year old. Maybe it is because I am no Adonis either. But I also like to believe that a DiCaprio type situation would make me deadly afraid of taking advantage of someone at a much different stage of life.
I would also theorize that as it becomes more difficult to guess the age by looks alone character becomes a more important differentiator. Of course some signs of age can not be hidden, but there are plenty of 18 year olds dressing much older as well as lots of older women not giving off grandma vibes.
It’s hard for me to believe that I might ever be attracted to someone past retirement age
If you’re looking for a connection beyond just physical, someone drastically younger (yet still an adult) is missing much of the life experience you have. They maybe unrealistically idealistic. They may not have experienced other cultures. They may take religion at face value as the truth. All of these things are usually things that change with age. I think I would run out of patience interacting with someone that wasn’t my peer in life as a partner.
I’m 30. At this point, 21-year-olds are nice to look at but generally horrible to talk to. I’d not really want to date someone under 25 because they’re immature, inexperienced with life/politics, and often annoying. I’ve always preferred people who are just above my own age because I like to engage socially and intellectually with my partners.
Maybe if I had a lot of money and wanted to hire a sex worker, I’d go for someone under 25 (depends on the person), but for actual intimacy with someone I want to keep around? Someone my age, please. I feel physical repulsion at the thought of being with a teenager or someone in their early 20s.
It’s probably somewhat normal to find younger people physically attractive, but what does that mean to you? Are you going to be marrying someone who is 21 at 50? That’s not typical and won’t be easily accepted.
You don’t have to fantasize about wrinkles or whatever to be attracted to an older person. Mariska Hargitay is fucking hot, so is Gillian Anderson, Jonathan Frakes, and Karl Urban. It’s not because they’re old, it’s because they’re still good-looking despite age and maintain their bodies.
I’ve always been attracted to folks with cute & youthful vibe. But when I was a teen that was pretty restricted to other teens, even the ‘young looking’ twenty year olds who were playing high-school students on TV obviously looked older and therefore less attractive to me.
But now I’m in my 40s my range of who looks youthful and hot is much wider. Now I find 20s hotter than teens, 30s can look pretty youthful, and I’m not super attracted to older people, but I find them less gross because I’m used to what older bodies look like (I have one!). And since physical attractiveness is just one part of overall attraction, I’d probably find a cute & 39 person more overall attractive than cute & 19, just because my experience is that most 39 year olds are funnier and more socially skilled than teenagers.
I can’t imagine every finding a 70 year old hotter on a physical level to 20 year old. But I can imagine being so content and in love with my elderly partner that I didn’t care that much.
I’m in my mid-thirties and I know that I’m going to be not as marketable to people even 5 years younger than me. I have a soft spot for older people and have been attracted to those twenty or ten years from me. The conflicting part I keep approaching is that if I theoretically date one of them, they’re going to die before I will and I’m not sure I’m equipped to handle it when they get older and are going to need a lot of assistance. I mean if the love is strong enough, exceptions may be made but I’m still uncertain.
Love can age like wine, but it varies from person to person.
Obviously I’m going to find those 10 years younger than me attractive, but is it really because it’s their personality or because I’m wondering how they look without their clothes? Their personality would probably wind me down quick so it’s physical at this stage.
You have to stop and think about what is really sexy.
Is it sexy when someone pretends to be into you? Most people would agree not.
A person 20 years younger than you, are they really attracted to you? Do they really know you? Do they really want to be with YOU?
Once sex becomes about the intimate connection and not just the physical bumpin uglies, it changes.
That said, looking at porn and fantasizing you can pretend to be any age you want. Thus, you may find yourself thinking you are not attracted to people your own age if you are only looking at porn of the “hottest” people.
I’m definitely not old (~30), and my preference has generally been my age +/- 5 years.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that my sexual attraction has migrated from being solely based on physical attributes to being partially based emotional connection, intelligence, passion, etc.
I think it’s also important to note that an individual’s “peak attractiveness” can occur at different stages of their life.
As someone markedly older than that, physical attraction is always worth appeciation, but the ability to understand and discuss our world in a nuanced fashion without having to explain things at an overly simple level is priceless.
It comes as no surprise that sexual urges dip as you age. Having someone you can really relate to, though, never gets old.
You’re developing romantic attraction. It’s different from sexual attraction, but usually people think of them as one and the same.
I disagree that it can only be romantic attraction.
For example, I can find a random person attractive if they’re displaying a skill they’re proficient in, talking passionately about a subject they’re knowledgeable in, or freely enjoying themselves. And all without feeling any kind of romantic inclination towards them.
It’s primarily sexual despite the fact it’s not necessarily physical
Dunno, I find myself being less and less attracted to anybody more than 5-6 years younger than me.
Yes the riper the banana the sweeter the taste…
What I find attractive has generally increased as I’ve gotten older. Now that I’m a dad I’m my 30’s moms in their 30’s are way more attractive to me than when I was a teen. I live in a college town, and sure the college girls are really pretty. Buts it’s different now that I’m older. I don’t really want to be involved romantically with them anymore. They feel too much like kids. Still pretty, but not for me.
Xaviera Hollander said it best.
“A man isn’t old until there are no women his own age who excite him. A woman is old the first time she looks for clothes that make her look younger.”
I’m 40, and I’m really only attracted to people my age, maybe late 30s, but much younger than that and I’m really not into it. This has been pretty consistent my whole life, of course I had crushes in school, but after being a teen probably around 22+ I Really wasn’t interested in teens. But 30 I was not interested in 20s. If I had to find someone, which I’m really not anticipating, I wouldn’t bother dating someone younger than 35-38 through whatever 45-50 range.
Hard to tell what is ‘normal’. Humans can be extremely diverse in their preferences and views.
I am about the same age as you. 20 to 30 year olds are most attractive to me in general too.
Your body is 40. You’re still 12.
I’m sure that holds up well in court
