For me it’s calculating. Too many people put math into their search engines and not their calculator.
Whacking off
How does one do that online?
You haven’t seen the latest chatGPT update?
Look up The Handy
Analog masturbation just hits different. Or so I’ve been told
Personally I prefer the full range of motion offered by analogue.
Too many people put math into their search engines and not their calculator.
People are doing what now? fr? There’s a whole ass app for that.
Search engine UI is better for it than most default calculators. I use Kubuntu and KCalc is usually pretty crap in comparison.
Say I want to calculate 220480*(1.0523-1.0522). Now I want to 220480*(1.0524-1.0523), doing that in KCalc requires awkwardly typing out the entire thing again. Doing it in duckduckgo I just change 23 and 22 to 24 and 23.
But I also don’t use a calculator often enough to look for a better one to install.
I use librecalc - I would’ve used excell in a previous life, but most spreadsheets will do - and what I like about it is that I can keep a running tally of the entire calculation chain as I go. And once you learn to use the tool, it can do much, much more powerful things.
Yeah for more complex stuff I do sometimes use librecalc
For those things I use bc
It’s probably already installed. You can curse me later when you find what it is.
Once you go apt install qalc you never go back
Edit: or the gui version, idk, I pretty much live on the command line so maybe I’m biased but this thing does everything I’ve ever wanted from a calculator. Also use it on my phone now, yes from the command line, because I still haven’t found a proper mobile app that can conveniently do more than multiplication
If you type it the search bar, it pulls up a calculator with the answer on it. I do it all the time.
Asking what people use the internet for that can be done just as easily offline.
To turn off and on light bulbs
I do this on my intranet with home assistant, looks like I flew just under the radar
Oh, yeah, my Home Assistant setup is fucking monstrous but also, crucially, self-hosted. Why the fuck do I want my thermostat and radiators to be talking via a datacentre in another country?
But that would require getting up off my sofa and walking across the living room.
Remotes exist
I self host a lot of software. something like 20 different apps.
the amount of self hosted open source software that uses CDNs for libraries is too damn high.
it became such a problem for me that I created my own locally managed CDN and use rewrite rules on any of my apps to replace remote packages with local ones.
I’ve even cloned entire repos, replaced the references with local ones.
IMO, if your software is “self hosted” it should be a fully functioning service that will run without the internet. your app is broke shit if it doesn’t work when the internet goes down and is meaningless to self host at that point.
my point, any app you use online can, in theory, be done offline. you just need the skill, knowledge, and drive to make it that way.
Transferring files between their devices, apple dummies think the only way to transfer files is to upload it first to their cloud drive and then download it on the other device from it, because apple won’t let them just connect their dumb iphones to a computer using a cable and just copy paste stuff to it like any other normal phone, heck they don’t even know about local network file transfer apps like Send Anywhere or Resilio Sync, all they know is airplay which only works between apple devices
Ordering a pizza
- Store passwords.
- Gaming. Some of it at least.
- Socializing
Store passwords.
I gotta disagree. It’s much harder to do this well offline. Losing access to a password database would be detrimental, so it’s not something I recommend doing purely locally.
huh, somebody better tell this to every major fortune 500 company.
Why so?
Store important telephone numbers on your phone. No need to do a google search everytime you call your doctor/dentist/mechanic/whoever.
Woah now, maybe I like googling my mom’s office line every time she doesn’t answer her cell phone! I actually never even thought of saving it
But I might want to not use this doctor for my yearly specialty visits for the first time in over a decade!
Finding books. I have no idea why I do that, when there’s a bookstore I really enjoy right across the lot from me, but i’ll literally browse book reviews for 30 mins before wandering over there and just… buying whatever looks good.
Total waste of time, I didn’t value the opinions of the reviewers in the first place, and the process is always inconclusive.
Think.
For me it’s ordering takeout. I never order takeout online, I always call up the place with my phone 🤷♀️ much easier to customize an order this way too
I’ve had local places refuse to take my order over the phone.
“use our app or come in”
yeah, they don’t last long. I can imagine their last thoughts are, “why won’t anyone eat here?”
I hate the phone: wayyy too much telephone tech support early in my career.
So I walk up and talk to a human.
And often cheaper as they aren’t getting gouged by apps. My local pizzeria happily said ’ call us direct and you’ll get a discount’
Chat
I can’t shout loud enough for people 900 miles away to hear me
Buy a plane ticket (but buying a ticket offline the day of is suspicious)
I did
I only buy my plane tickets at the airport on the day of travel with handfuls of cash pulled from a carrier bag while wearing a blood-stained shirt. I punctuate that start of every sentence by slamming my first on the desk and the end of the sentence with “goddamnit”.
I bet you aren’t picky. Just the next flight out of the state is fine.
Why would you think that?
SLAM “If I do upgrade to Business, will I be able to recline my seat without interrupting the person behind’s meal?” SLAM “And is The Grand Budapest Hotel still available onboard or do I need to download it first, goddamnit?”
Practice, practice, practice.
Not sure about 900 miles, but you can avoid shouting by… learning sign language and lip reading and get a telescope.
learning morse code so you can use blinking light. learning smoke signalling.
Get a pigeon or 2.
To check whether it’s raining
🌧️
I don’t have windows in my office :(
Translating and dictionary, see the app Aard 2, you download Wiktionary in your preferred language (hoping it’s available) and it’s all in your phone.
