For the sake of the plot, choose whichever zombie type fits your plans the best.
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Relevant XKCD : https://xkcd.com/599/
Slow zombies? I’d do my very best to get back home. I moved for work so I’d do a cross country road trip to get back home. I think slow zombies would be easy to avoid if you plan and be very careful. Fast zombies on the other hand is a different story. Left 4 dead zombies? Probably die and become a boomer or a spitter.
Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for this all to blow over.
Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for this to all blow over.
My plan, in its entirety:
BRAAAAINS!!!
I’ve found the zombie!
Wall of my parents’ tiny neighborhood and use it as a compound. They have major river access and there are plenty of big yards for agriculture. There’s also plenty of blue collar workers to do a lot of hands-on stuff. I’d be in charge of animal husbandry since I’m really good at it. My mom would do plants.
Hope they are vegan zombies.
I’m not telling you my plan zombie, but rest assured, once you’re defeated, we’ll all get taken out by some zombie-denier anyways.
Die, I guess. On the off chance that I survive the first few days, try to build a civilization.
I feel like that in this timeline we should already start and try to build a civilization
Zombies?
Look around. We’re in an apocalypse right now.
You need zombies to make it real?
Hoard toilet paper.
Also, buy truckloads of hand sanitizer
For me that’s a no-brainer.
My jaw dropped
I’m gonna eat a lot of brains until the protagonist blows my head off with an unrealistic shotgun.
Realistic zombies: do nothing, it will pass quickly, or I will catch it too. If I don’t catch it I shelter on place for a few days
Movie zombies of any kind: kill myself, I’m not delusional, that world sucks and my chances are tiny
How do realistic zombies look like?
Like corpses. And corpses don’t tend to be particularly strong or fast once they start rotting. Unless there’s some sort of magic involved to stop the decomposition process, they’ll likely all die out as they rot. The fresher zombies will take a few weeks to become inert, but that’s a blip in the radar in the grand scheme of things.
But the bigger issue then becomes what caused it. If it was something like a prion disease, (like Mad Cow Disease) then you’re likely fucked even after the zombies all rot; Prions don’t decompose, and (if the zombie outbreak was big enough) you’re almost guaranteed to catch it via dirty soil exposure (either directly, or via tainted produce that was grown where a zombie died) eventually.
My head cannon for “realistic” zombies. is Mel Brooks’, the writer of 'zombie survival guide and ‘world war z’ (no relation to the movie or the game) esque zombies.
Max Brooks, Mel is his father. I’d expect a Mel Brooks-written Zombie guide would be a bit…different…
Thanks for the correction :) at least I was only of by 2 letters. Or only got 1/3 correct depending on your level of pessimism
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Just don’t blow out your brains. Leave some food for the rest of us.
