Bonus points: if that place/activity is friendly for disabled people with limited mobility.
Furry convention
Dungeons & Dragons is one, for the sufficiently geeky.
I came here to say Dungeons & Dragons. People of all ages and walks of life play.
This one is interesting as don’t you need friends already to play?
If you want to start an irl group, yeah. If you’re joining an existing group, no though. Fully online is obviously the easiest place to find groups looking for players, but you can also head down to your local gaming store. I’ve seen bulletin boards before with flyers looking for players, but can probably just ask the people working there if they know of any.
Could also check online forums for your local community, maybe even make a post asking if any gaming groups have openings for irl players.
there are actually lots of groups that attempt to rectify this exact problem.
Pathfinder is a tabletop RPG that has a large following and focuses on the ability to jump in and out of groups and games.
Find your nearest game store and see what hobbies show up there. There might be a Warhammer group, DnD, starwars miniatures, magic, or maybe just random board games.
IIRC, you can get into public games on roll20. I also know Lemmy has an instance dedicated to TTRPGs; do they have any kind of game matchup community?
You can play with online friends with a virtual tabletop like Roll20 or Foundry and voice chat like Discord. I’m in 4 games a week and all of them are online. I mentioned in another comment, but Roll20 has an LFG section taht lets you search by game systems, time, whether or not they welcome new players, etc. I’ve met tons of people this way.
Most game shops host some games that are open to people signing up.
At one of my local stores, they specifically have the “D&D Adventure League” once a week. It does have a $5 entry fee.
Our local libraries do this too! They are free but waaay less rowdy than others I’ve tried (i loke a lol rowdy). And, usually One and Done campaigns. Do double check if you do see your library has them, ours do adult and teen in different groups.
I woald advise other RPG than D&D, too many beginner look for D&D and nothing else, while tons of GM struggle to find player for non D&D games, as usual look for a club/meetup/shop near you
DND is tricky to recommend. On the one hand, as far as RPGs go it’s mega popular. On the other, it’s a very specific kind of game and rather finicky.
Many people who don’t want to play fantasy dungeon crawling tactical combat would enjoy other genres, but finding those groups can be harder. One of my friends has no real interest in fantasy, but immediately was like “LET’S DO IT” when I mentioned a game of Vampire.
Join a group thing you like.
Your local discgolf club / community if you’re into that.
Find a discord community that you share a hobby with. I found a small (<300 people) gaming community discord and have been hanging out there for a couple years now, made tons of friends, always have people to play games with, etc. But it doesn’t have to be gaming, I’m also in 2 movie clubs and a book club on a couple other discord servers, plus I play tabletop roleplaying games online with strangers and make new friends that way, etc. Iono if there’s a place you can physically go to meet people other than a bar or something, but there are lots of places online to meet people. Find yourself a knitting club or a biking club or a hiking group or whatever… tons of those communities exist online, and most of them are on discord.
Kind of building on the D&D subject, if you look up your local game stores that have playspace, they probably have a calendar on their website listing lots of “Open Play” events or something similar. Mine also has craft/hobby nights.
You normally just show up to these and play.
The card and army based games may expect you to have your own stuff, but I would get in touch with somebody because a lot of the time there’s going to be somebody who will let you try the game with their stuff and teach you how to play in hopes of getting you interested long-term.
Pursue your interests in life and people you’re going to hit it off with will be along the way.
Yeah unfortunately most of my interests are stuff that are done solo. Im also not sure if those interests became my interests because i have been solo most of my life. Moved around allot as a kid. That’s why I want to bridge out to new things.
- Linux
- Comic books
- Reading novels
- Electronic Engineering
- Video Games
Video games can be very social though.
Have you tried discord communities for any games you like?
Or alternative look for a game with a good community?
Yeah I tried a discord group called Gamers Who Chill: DFW but it tended to skew to collage kids or teens. Didn’t feel comfortable engaging. As i didn’t want to come off like a creepy old dude by talking to kids.
Some games will have younger audience, I really don’t see an issue tbh but their spazzing can get annoying quick
I am not sure what’s in vogue now. But for example elite dangerous used to have a strong community for middle aged cucks. Eve online too I heard
I was able to reconnect with high schools and college friends recently via video games. If you got old friends like that, might be worth reaching out. Everyone seemed settled in a rut and bored now and willing to do it. When I tried it 10 years ago, everyone was busy “living life”
Oh im not sure I can go back to EVE. That consumed my life in my twenties. 😁
🫡
I wanted to give a second vote for discord. I’m in several channels that aren’t for videogames but for my other hobbies, and things like age/gender never even really come up because everyone is there to talk about whatever said hobby is. Then again, I do most of my communication through text and not voice and I suppose that can make a difference when dealing with the younger crowds.
Yeah i do that mainly with the tildeverse IRC channels and while fun to have a quick chat with a stranger it seems for me those interactions never cross the gap to become a genuine connection beyond talking in IRC or Discord.
You mean you hang out with them and they just feel mundane.
More i say hi they say hi we talk about a topic then they go away. Like where you talk to an anonymous screen name an don’t know anything about the person behind it. You enjoy the conversation much like how I enjoy talking with everyone on lemmy but that connection doesn’t turn into a connection where im added to an invite list at that person’s wedding or graduation. Like you would with a friend group.
Book club or maybe even some sort of 3d printing meetup? I’ve always found that the people that are interested in those probably would hit the other items on your list.
Hey! you sound pretty cool! :D
Go to cons my guy. Join the tournaments, stand in line. People are friendly just aim for a good conversation and be curious about people
Maybe check if there are maker spaces/repair cafes near you. They are always happy for help.
I’m at a similar age and have similar interests. I’ve not been successful. I’ve done what others suggest, but not many people are making a genuine connection. Meetup.com ends up being an activity for the meet up and not connection outside. Conventions and gaming makes people get together for the event…but again little interest outside that.
Some of this might be a skill issue. Some of this has to do with how incredibly socially reserved the British are (all my ongoing friendships are with non-British people while living in England, because they’re the ones who will accept invites and meet up again). Some of this has to do with having interests that hardly anyone shares IRL.
I’ve seen posts like this before on Lemmy and people even said they were interested in a chat channel to start a social group here, so I made one and no one joined.
Good luck. I’m interested in reading the other replies you get.
Yeah i so get you dude. It’s funny you bring up being British. I’m half English and have the same problem when I go to cons. Like I went to the local Vintage Computer Festival South West. People were nice but just could never get anyone make the jump to genuine connection.
Being on crutches I think puts it on hard mode. As people ether consciously or unconsciously just don’t want to deal with disabled people. I feel that is less an issue in the UK but in the states most people are down right hostile sometimes to disabled people.
Shit dude, that sounds terrible with people giving you attitude for mobility aids.
I haven’t tried clubs (book club, warhammer, etc) and haven’t tried hobby classes.
I’ve had postgraduate formal classes, but that had mature students who had young families that they were keen to get back to (rather than hanging out).
Thanks dude, i will im used to the overtly hostile people. It’s the people that don’t even realize they do it that kills me. Because that’s not them being assholes that’s the systematic bias built by our society as a whole.
Oh man I was the guy that said “Just go to cons” above but I see what you’re saying. Genuine connections take time.
One way I have really had some luck is just messaging friends I haven’t talked to in a while to check in on them. Most don’t reply but sometimes one does. One guy I messaged after not seeing him in 20 years and now we hang out every other week.
Maybe there is no winning strategy, just gotta be persistent.
Yeah it’s a good plan if you can do it. But with moving around allot I don’t really have those old friends in the area. It’s regretful now but as a teen and up to my early twenties. I was of a mind set I’m just going to move in a few years anyway might as well stick to myself. I was that kid in high-school that just did his work didn’t bother anyone. Then just disappeared without you really noticing him. You might have asked to barrow a pen in class.
Check out your local library activities, check your city/town event calendar
Rock climbing assuming you have a little spare change for a membership & a local gym. Go boulder. Folks are chill.
Local sports leagues. I was chatting with a friend who was talking about how much fun they’re having with softball… Including how they can now hit the ball 50% of the time.
as one with limited mobility, i have made friends at the local, extremely small, music venue. tickets at the door are $20, beer is cheap, and everyone is super friendly.
because its a small place, the owner lets me take a chair with me when i am going to one of the stages that has no seating (i use a cane; its hard to stand for long periods). i usually sit next to the merch tables, and the friends of the bands usually strike up conversation.
this is a suuuuuper small place. it has 2-3 stages (depending on the night), but they are really close together, so only one band at a time can play (two stages are outside because the building is so small). even if its not music, go to really small local places that get decent crowds - they are a lot more personable.
That’s interesting how do you get to know people? Doesn’t the music make it hard to hear people? I feel like in that scenario i would go listen to music and have a good time but would still be alone in a crowd.
usually a band plays for ~30-45m - enjoying music time - and ~15m-1h (depending on the setup for that night) of downtime for chatting.
Oh that’s cool i guess i didn’t think of it as live music only. I was picturing a place where they blast a DJ or playlist way to loud between bands playing.
You are in Dallas? The main redeeming quality of Texas is the music. I wholeheartedly agree with this suggestion.
Also going out to the same places at the same time can pay off, you will make acquaintances and some may become friends. I see a group of old guys at the cafe I go to for coffee, pretty sure they are only friends because they go get breakfast at the Cuban place and ended up talking and sitting together.
I will say though, almost all my friends I met as adult came from work or from them going out with someone in my family. The medium level friends you are probably looking for. Do you not have work?
Related, many small(-ish) bars have a stage for live music on Friday/Saturday. There may not be enough seating for those nights, and there’s little/no standing room, so people randomly share tables. From there, you strike up conversation with other fans.
Find the small places where they advertise the bands by name, and make sure they aren’t just cover bands. Irish pubs have been lucky for me, but there’s another place near me that regularly has jam bands.
Without bonus points: climbing. It’s always done in groups, the community is very open and you spend a lot of time just talking.
Basically you show up to a local climbing gym, try a boulder, some guy tries it after you, you say something like “I think you need to switch hands here”, you start chatting, ask him about outdoor climbing in the area, he says that he’s going to a nice stop this weekend, invites you to join, you go and hang out with people all day. It really is that simple.
First off, you cannot attend any kind of event where women are involved.
I’m not doing a battle of the sexes thing, but the reality is that social dynamics massively change when opposite sex are involved. It is fundamentally impossible to have genuine interactions with other men, when women are around.
Before you get all triggered and decide to hit the downvote, remember I am not doing battle of the sexes…you cannot take women’s wine night for example, deposit a man in the group and expect the social dynamic to remain the same.
So go find something where women are not allowed. Find a clubhouse with a crudely written sign that says “no girls allowed” and the R is backwards.
Find a place where men are not in competition for the attention of women.
Magic the Gathering. Its like drugs but its only bad for your Bank account and if you dont min/max it wont destroy your friendships that bad.
If you have any interest is medieval things check out the Society of Creative Anachronism. www.sca.org
Even if you only want to meet new nerdy\geeky people. As long as you don’t mind wearing silly clothing.
This is somewhat dependent on living close enough to a city.
This is very cool. I think I have seen some people that do this at the Scarborough Ren Fair down here.
I recommend taking an improv class. I recently started taking classes and it’s been a lot of fun and pretty challenging at times. Taking classes and being that vulnerable with others basically streamlines the friend making process. My class group usually goes out to a bar to hang out and chat after class every week, and we have been inviting others to hang out periodically. It’s absolutely disabled people friendly too (At least my theater is, they have a ramp for the stage and everything.) you can also learn some skills to help become better at communication and ease social anxiety. I’ve really noticed the changes in my life.
It’s a daunting idea, but it so worth giving it a shot
Thanks you, this is a great idea, I really like this one. I am concerned though that my crutches would limit my improv versatility.
Yeah, they might, but I have also seen someone that required a wheelchair perform, and they did a great job. As someone that doesn’t have a disability that interferes with movement, it’s hard for me to say much about performing improv from that perspective, but I think it’s worth a shot. I understand trying to be realistic about what you can and can’t do, but I also think it’s important to try and stretch yourself to see what’s possible. But again, I don’t know your situation or your perspective, so I could be talking out of my ass here. Beginner classes are usually very casual and low stakes, focused on just having fun, getting out of your comfort zone, and learning the basics.