So I was hearing these radio people talking about first dates and they seemed to push the idea that it’s almost a given that people would be drinking alcohol on first date. As if it was a courtesy.
I was surprised to find after Googling this that maybe half of people online think the same meanwhile others are fine with just getting coffee or something.
I can maybe see how coordinating to maybe meet at a bar is somehow more feasible after work and perhaps works out better during the week VS having to go somewhere during the day on weekend but I would imagine it depends on the person.
I for one don’t understand how drinking makes sense where I’m at. Even I’m in a good metro area but I’d still have to go downtown to be walking to a bar. It’s the US, so I still feel that no matter what, people still have to drive. Why drink if you’re gonna drive?
What do you guys think? Does the date go smoother with an alcoholic drink? How have your experiences been and do you guys have a particular preference?
(Yes, I’ve never dated and therefore have no insight.)
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Absolutely no alcohol on the first date. To me it is a red flag and we probably won’t see each other again.
I am here to see if there is any spark or if I can even stand you in person and vice versa. Alcohol doesn’t help with that and it shows me you probably have a drinking problem.
These kind of things are those you should be picky about when dating. I had to learn this the hard way with two psycho exes in a row. Say no, take your time with the candidates and choose while sober.
Having a drink with dinner hardly means you “probably” have a drinking problem…
It seems a tad harsh, but you do you
I just drink tea when I go to a bar and need to drive, no one has ever commented about it
Don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Don’t listen to people giving dating advice.
As an American in his mid 40s, I can say that I’ve never once had alcohol on a first date
It’s common, but not expected in the sense that most potential partners would be put off by your choice not to drink. If a date pressures you to drink when you don’t want to, that’s a red flag. Maybe propose something other than a bar if you don’t want to drink.
Why drink if you’re gonna drive?
A large number of people, perhaps even a majority think that it’s perfectly fine to drive after light drinking. The bar industry in the USA has tried to push a narrative that it’s mainly severely impaired drivers who cause crashes and the current DUI thresholds are too low. I used to think that until I went looking for research to back it up and found that there’s a pretty linear response in terms of driving worse as BAC increases. Driving is dangerous enough without any impairment.
For me, 0.08 BAC would mean I feel drunk as shit. Other people may not feel it. The fact that people think it’s too low is baffling.
People who binge drink frequently get used to it and don’t feel very drunk at 0.08. It doesn’t mean they’re not significantly impaired. Add that to a bit of propaganda from the bar industry, which has an incentive to normalize impaired driving and it starts to make sense.
Right. But 0.08 is still very inebriated is my point. Regardless of if you feel it or not. I’m sure some people who drink a lot probably feel that 0.08 means they’re totally fine, however this is objectively false.
I think we are in vehement agreement.
Depends on the people. There aren’t any strict rules. Some people won’t, some will. Some might even end up in bed right after. As long as everyone involved is comfortable with it, it’s fine.
If you aren’t comfortable with drinking on a first date, then don’t. If like me you never drink alcohol, then don’t.
Also depends on the alcohol. Large difference between wine and vodka.But I haven’t ever dated either, so… Personally I can’t imagine any date that involves any drinks and food. Coffee, I don’t do that either. Tea? Down in one go. Water? Awkward, and also down in one go. Food? Can’t focus on anything else, gotta finish first.
OP: what age are you and where are you from?
30 yr, US.
The answer to this is the same as the answer to most social situations: It depends.
Do you drink now? If not, a first date is probably not the best time to try it out for the first time. If you do drink, but tend to overdo it, pay mind to keep it under control.
Does your date drink? If not, they may not feel comfortable in a bar or other alcohol-centric location.
Do what works for both of you, not what other people enjoy. Choose a location or activity that matches your interests! And, if you suggest something that aligns with what you know about your date, you’re going to score bonus points! If they are outdoorsy, suggest a hike. They like craft beer, suggest a brewery. If they are a gamer, maybe a board game lounge. Anything can be a great first date as long as you both enjoy your time together!
Alcohol is a social lubricant, if you’re a drinker then yes it’s pretty natural to assume a few drinks on a first date would loosen both parties up. Not everyone is a drinker and that’s fine but I don’t think it’s weird at all to want drinks on an occasion where people are probably a bit nervous and awkward. Re: driving, take an uber? The bus?
Be very skeptical of any “rules” of first dates. This one is definitely bunk.
Lots of people don’t drink.
Lots of people don’t like bars.
Lots of people think dinner/drinks where there is nothing to do but chat is an awful first date. (Hello, this one is me 100%).
Lots of people are conscientious of drinking on a first date with a person they don’t know as a safety measure. (Hello, me again).
Throw in religious/cultural/medical needs on drinking and this “rule” falls apart even faster.
The rule is to do what you’re both comfortable with, and see if those things match up. If you’re not up for drinking, then don’t. And recognize that social drinking might be more important to the person you’re interested in.
Give your potential date an option of drinks [if you’re ok with alcohol obviously) or coffee/tea. It let’s them decide what they are comfortable with.
Cool! Thanks!
If you don’t drink, don’t drink.
Media has taught us that a first date involves drinking in a bar or restaurant, in part because of movie shorthand. (Dinner and drinks is a date, forget the rest of the evening, we just set the stage to imply the rest.)
As many others have said, your normal is your normal. Don’t let society or Hollywood pressure you into dating ‘their way’.
I met my wife on a date at a coffeehouse near here house. We then went to a pizza place across the street. No alcohol involved, but I did bring a board game into the restaurant with us.
Where I live, yes, though we’re pretty much a nation of alcoholics in denial.
