I prefer web over app. I tried a site which was said to be free. signup was fine so i started to use the site only to realise to see my matches or start chats i had to pay for a “premium” account or something. that really annoys me and it’s a waste of my time so does anyone know any good dating sites which are actually free, as in i don’t have to pay to use the site for what it should be used for? thx in advance 👍
oh and I’m looking for men, forgot to specify lol
Plentyoffish mostly stinks but still has a free tier where you can message one person a day.
Also, on the page where you look at people who have viewed/liked you, the photos are blurred but if you use the Web Developer Inspection Tool you can see the unblurred photo:
Right click on one of the images of who you want to see and in the dropdown menu click “Inspect”:
The Web Developer tools will pop up and should auto-locate you to the image in question. In Firefox you can just hover over the image location and view a preview of the image. You can also right click on the image location and “Open Link in New Tab” to view it.
From here, you can usually find them in your list of potential matches, in your “meet me” swipes, or in the recently online list. This way, if someone swipes right on you, you can find them without paying and can decide to match or message.
Cheers and good luck!
tysm! I’ll try it out!!
You’re welcome, I’ve just actually been waiting on an opportunity to share this info lmao
I wish most other sites didn’t patch out this method :-(
I like OK Cupid. It works perfectly without paying and matches are better as they are based on questions you answer and profiles contain more info. So it’s less evaluating lifestock like Tinder.
There’s also Bumble, it used to be that the woman needs to start talking when matched within 24h otherwise the match disappears. This is so women won’t get spammed by loads of men. I heard they would change it, but I’m not sure if they actually did. It works fine without paying.
There’s Boo, which I think is mostly for autistic and introvert people. Works fine with the free version.
There’s Feeld, which works great without paying. The focus is mainly on sex, not so much relationship material imo.
OKC is basically 90% bots now. I have 100+ likes. None are from my area or even my country.
Do the bots at least use AI to chat? Because that’s going to be better than the one word answers I get from the real people.
Ok Cupid used to be kind that, but they completely butchered the question part of it, in my opinion it is no longer useful. Also as a white cis male you get spammed there by literally hundreds of accounts from the Philippines. Makes the whole thing useless in my opinion
Yeah that’s true. About 60% of the women I see are from Asia / Africa / South America.
I wish they would disable the custom location feature to solve this clutter.
I live in The Netherlands, there are enough people here on the app to make it worth while. It’s how I met my new partner.
I wish they would disable the custom location feature to solve this clutter.
It’s REALLY useful for travelling/migration. I made a penpal/IRL friend through there using this very feature. They should deal with it by reports and etc.
Yeah, that’s how I met my current partner. She lives in Portugal but had her location in my city. It does have benefits, but it also extremely clutters the app with gold diggers from the other side of the globe.
I live in The Netherlands, there are enough people here on the app to make it worth while. It’s how I met my new partner.
Congrats btw
Bumble did chenge that. Now the woman decides who has to start the convo once they match. You can also set some prompts for the other person to reply to.
There’s Boo, which I think is mostly for autistic and introvert people. Works fine with the free version.
Oooo… I’m gonna have to try this one.
I’m not a big fan though. It’s also a sort of social media. There are many people on there from Asia and Africa, cluttering the user base.
I had 3 matches which ended in extended conversations, but in all 3 cases (don’t know if it’s coincidence) they were trying to cheat on their partner. I’m poly, I don’t mind sharing, but cheating on someone is not going to happen with me.
About poly, OK Cupid has the option to say you’re monogamous, polyamorous (with account links possible) or open to either. So it’s a great app for finding poly people or focus on mono people without matching with the poly ones (saves a conversation)
Yeah… I have been on there since making that comment and just looking in a 40 mile radius, a majority of the profiles I am seeing are unvaccinated red hats. 😮💨
The idea is still nice, but… You’re still at the mercy of who is actually near enough to meet. And I live in dumbfuckville.
Sorry to say, but there’s no app available which creates better people in your town haha
Maybe move to a city?
OK Cupid has the option to set your location manually. You can check somewhere else if there’s someone nice. I hate this option, it clutters the app with Asian and African women wanting to meet someone abroad. But it may be nice for you to get better results.
Does make you stand out from the crowd if you’re not that though
Fasch Match is free. Even overwhelmingly loaded with CIS white male options.
Dating sites are there to make money off of desperation. Matches are intentionally superficial or completely off base. They won’t give away a product that you are willing to pay for. Because then they lost two customers.
Orrrrrr, alternative option…how about we go watch fireworks tomorrow? It’ll be a date. We’ll grab some food, and then go see the new Jurassic Park movie, and then go see the fireworks!
Uhhhhh, just be in Cleveland tomorrow at 5pm. Just, anywhere in Cleveland. I’ll find you by roaming the city and yelling “YOU SINGLE??? HEY!!! YOU SINGLE???” at every woman I see on the street. I’m sure I’ll find you EVENTUALLY!
Just don’t stop in East Cleveland. That is a seperate city, and we in Cleveland don’t recognize them as anything more than an active war zone. You WILL die if you stop there.
Soooooo, what are you thinking? Drinks? Yay or nay? Aw who am I kidding??? OBVIOUSLY we’re going to drink!!! This city is BUILT on alcoholics!!!
…wha? Where are you going??? Come back!!! I haven’t even shown you our massive free stamp!!! Thats not a penis euphanism! We really do have a massive free stamp here!
I’m now imagining an accidental Lemmy meet up in the streets of Cleveland tomorrow, organized by people shouting “HEY!! YOU SINGLE??”
Cool free stamp!
what
It’s called flirting, and I’m quite good at it! Who could resist the Cleveland perogis? Again, not a sex euphanism. We have a strong polish population, and thus perogis are popular here.
Just don’t drop your Cleveland pierogis through a Chicago sunroof.
A friend of mine met her now husband and father of her child on the free tier of Plenty Of Fish. That was a decade ago though. I’m not sure if the service has degraded since.
I hate to be a downer, but…
Building, running and maintaining a website isn’t free. Building, running and maintaining a popular website is fucking expensive. Somebody’s got to pay those bills.
As the saying goes, if it’s free, you’re not the customer, you’re the product. Corollary, if it’s not free, you still might be the product.
Furthermore, these days I would assume that 99.9% of profiles on a “free” dating site are scammers, or bots, or scammer bots, many of which are probably run by the people running the website.
And to double down on the downerism, subscription based dating sites/apps are financially motivated to keep you paying for as long as possible. They are not motivated to help you find a match, cancel your subscription, and live happily ever after.
In an attempt to not be a total downer jerk, my suggestion would be to find local meetup groups that interest you (even if just barely) and start going to those consistently.
That’s how I met my spouse almost 14 years ago. We were both on the dating apps but not finding each other. Eventually we met through a meetup group that I ran, and after months of casually chatting occasionally at group meetings, sparks spontaneously started flying. 🤷
While I understand what you’re saying, Okcupid was way better before match group bought it. They could make money and still have a useful website.
Sometimes it’s simply greed. :(
okcupid is what i used, but it was back before COVID
Im a 40m divorcee and I am absolutely out of my depth thinking about dating.
I have looked at the apps and sites and they never go anywhere for me. No matches or conversations that go no where.
I sort of think that meeting someone will happen when it happens, but I really miss that excitement of learning all about someone and talking all night.
Im also interested in meeting someone outside of my country, because Id love to experience something new, but that makes me look like a scammer.
May the chances be in your favor, brother. 🤝
I’m sure there are some out there. But they won’t be any good.
Tinder, Hinge, Bumble. That’s what people are on. Maybe there is something else popular in your area - ask your friends. If you try to go somewhere else (unless you are trying to fit a specific niche like being gay or kinky or a farmer) then you will miss out on most of the online dating market. And spoiler: it will be the good part you are missing out on. The guys you want to match with aren’t making accounts on “random dating app lolz”, because there is no one there so it is a waste of time.
From my understanding (and experience) dating apps/online dating in general is dead, fucked up beyond repair by capitalism, toxic incels, predators, scammers, crooks and most recently AI. No technology can possibly survive such an onslaught and most of them wouldn’t profit from doing so. They have a financial incentive to attract repeat customers.
In person meeting and dating should be the obvious alternative, but apparently nobody goes out socializing anymore since COVID and nobody can afford hobbies because of the economy and chronic social malaise and terminal online doomscrolling has broken people’s ability to form human connection anyway so I think civilization is probably just ending after these last few generations, frankly.
If there is a useful option I’d love to know what it is too.
My coworker met someone on Hinge, I think it was, just a year ago and they’re moving in together.
Not trying to say it’s easy but I don’t think it’s useless.
You can always find outliers. That doesn’t mean playing the loto isn’t useless.
Found my partner on Hinge as well, so it kind of per definition isn’t useless. That being said, I don’t think one should invest too much time and energy into it since online dating can be incredibly emotionally and mentally draining.
A friend of mine also found their long-term partner on Hinge. Dating apps are kinda dead, but if you’re looking for something other than hookups, it seems like Hinge is one of the better options.
Go to protests. Meet cool people.
Yeah you can’t really talk though.
Meet unemployed people.
I’ve been to protests. I’m employed.
I have also been to a few protests while employed. I have organized protests and got laid by activists while unemployed.
I think civilization is probably just ending after these last few generations, frankly
Someone’s probably trying to stop that already, in a way. Low(er) sentences for rape and abortion bans. Maybe will be followed by something else, like decreasing age of consent. Or banning things like hysterectomy, salpingectomy, vasectomy.
All the good solutions /sI think civilization is probably just ending after these last few generations, frankly.
Probably for the best…
dating apps/online dating in general is dead, fucked up beyond repair by capitalism, toxic incels, predators, scammers, crooks and most recently AI. No technology can possibly survive such an onslaught and most of them wouldn’t profit from doing so. They have a financial incentive to attract repeat customers
Thank you for writing exactly what I was thinking.
I heard that Japan is starting to implement a government sponsored/made matchmaking app. The core advantage is that the intention of the platform is to actually match people and make people have babies. Plus, if someone is being naughty, the penalties can be much higher than a simple account ban.
DaveCat has it right.
It’s called outside!
Joking aside, its fundamentally unlikely as if you’re not paying you’re the product and maintaining a dating network is a lot of work both in admin tasks, technical tasks and legal tasks.
The model necessitates that they restrict your access in crummy ways or they wouldn’t be solvant. I met my partner on Hinge but I was paying to be able to reach people. Glad to be done with those apps.
I know, I know, but really, it’s better than any actual dating app.
I think the way you’re supposed to do it now is to post one of the JD Vance memes into c/196 and try DMing the first person who comments. Rinse and repeat until the desired outcome is achieved.
Germans skip to ich_iel.
French to !rance@jlai.lu
Honestly, apps (web included) in 2025 are just profit farming. It will be hard to get anything substantial from the experience.
Best suggestion is avoid OLD and just meet people in person. Get a hobby and attend things and eventually you will find like minded people.
Things like rock climbing, board games, cycling, etc. Hobbies that have places you go to and do a thing.
Sorry I don’t have any better suggestions 🤷♂️
