My wife and I are going to a concert in a few months which is considered ‘girl pop’ and we have standing tickets. I wanted to get a look at what a show by this artist is like, so I search YouTube just to find it’s a bunch of young adult woman screaming anytime something is done like a dance move as an example, but this just isn’t me.

I have a worry that someone is going to start filming me for being ‘grumpy’ or whatever, usually I wouldn’t think this much into it, but I’m already going to be sticking out like a sore thumb and in the current year I always assume I’m in the background of someone’s video at any given moment and I don’t want my awkwardness being confused for anything else other than what it is.

Am I in over my head, or should I just not overthink it and try to enjoy myself?

  • Klear@lemmy.worldEnglish
    11·
    4 months ago

    Guy over 30 here. I went to a PVRIS concert recently, and apparently the singer is a LGBT icon. Also the opener was Scene Queen. I definitely didn’t fit into the demographic, but I didn’t feel like I was sticking out either.

    It was an awesome concert. IMO you’re overthinking it. Just have fun.

    • mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      3·
      4 months ago

      and apparently the singer is a LGBT icon.

      Anyone who sees this and doesn’t immediately go “oh they’re gay as fuck” needs to replace the batteries in their gaydar:

  • it_depends_man@lemmy.world
    8·
    4 months ago

    It’s possible you will feel weird about being there and not enjoy it. I was to two concerts of one of my favorite bands and I just didn’t really get it and enjoy it that much, because it was in a big crowd. The “live” thing just didn’t do it for me, so my conclusion is that I just prefer music by myself.

    But the mood at the event itself shouldn’t keep you out, you like what you like and if it’s a cool community, they will not gatekeep it.

    My wife and I

    Showing up alone would be a bit weird. With your wife, nobody should give you a second look.

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      1·
      4 months ago

      It depends big time on the size of the venue, for me. I have a hard time enjoying shows in stadiums and like giant amphitheatres…

  • MojoMcJojo@lemmy.world
    5·
    4 months ago

    I just reached my mid-40s, and at the same time, I realized that I have been overthinking everything. Nobody cares, and those that do, you shouldn’t care about. Too many missed opportunities because I thought it worried too much and did too little. I think my new outlook may have been influenced by the ever increasing deaths of people around me. Time keeps speeding up, I’ll be dead soon. So will everyone. Do whatever you want, be nice to people, it’ll all be over too soon.

  • Taalnazi@lemmy.world
    12·
    4 months ago

    just be free to go, who cares – as long as you can enjoy it, nobody’s harmed. So go and have fun with your wife!

  • cRazi_man@europe.pub
    18·
    4 months ago

    You will probably feel “out of place” and there will probably be few people of your demographic… But no one cares. If you enjoy your time with your wife and enjoy the concert, it doesn’t really matter.

    I been to a bunch of goth metal concerts as a middle aged man. It’s mostly young people dressed in black goth apparel. I’m there as a serious middle aged guy in a normal T-shirt and jeans. It’s never been a problem. Many times the other concert goers will be quite welcoming to share their music taste with someone.

    • TryingSomethingNew@lemmy.world
      5·
      4 months ago

      I’m at “extreme” metal shows. Usually in business casual, and I used to joke that I was a studded leather bracelet and a tattoo under their minimum. Nobody cares, hell, I got hit on by someone asking whose dad I was.

  • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
    6·
    4 months ago

    While you’re there, you’ll probably see someone twice as out of place as you, and immediately forget about them.

  • happydoors@lemmy.world
    22·
    4 months ago

    People don’t go to concerts to look at the audience. If anyone has a problem they are a gate keeping moron.

  • BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip
    5·
    4 months ago

    I went to a Jonas Brothers concert with my wife a few years ago and I had this same worry. I went, was overwhelmed by how much my ears hurt from how loud the entire crowd of women screaming was, and ended up enjoying the performance, even if I feel like I was sticking out for now being that excited.

    There was some solace in seeing other dudes in the crowd, probably feeling exactly like I was

  • RamenDame@lemmy.world
    7·
    4 months ago

    Enjoy the show. In the last two years, I was at 2 shows where a male companion and me were the oldest. And one show we were only beaten by boring parents which waited in the bar area instead of listening to a great show (imagine grumpy older Gen X being on their phones the entire time). It felt weird at first. Teens and young adults all around me. Every teen had so much swag and I needed Vexillology lesson because there were so many queer flags and didn’t know existed. The shows were nice (Tessa Violet and Cavetown) and I had a great time. Everything was calm, the bar always free, I guess because money is a lot tighter when you are young. If people notice you they’ll think you are a cool dude cause you enjoy good music.

    • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
      3·
      4 months ago

      Upvoted for the Vexillology reference.

      But yeah, OP, just enjoy the show. Most of the attendants are going to be way too focused on the show, their friends, and themselves to care that some rando isn’t bopping along with them.

  • Takapapatapaka@tarte.nuage-libre.frEnglish
    1·
    4 months ago

    I’m not sure about “girl pop” concert vibe, but i don’t see much video pointing out at people in the crowd in concerts (in fact, i only remember one, and it’s not really being mean at the person). Also there may be some kind of survivor paradox here : the video you see of young adult woman may not be a realistic depiction of the crowd, there probably is people just chilling, but they’re less interesting to film, so there’s less video about them. I’d say enjoy yourself !

  • Guadin@k.fe.derate.me
    331·
    4 months ago

    Had the same feelings going to a Taylor Swift concert with my grilfriend as a middle age man. Turns out, nobody paid attention to me because they where to busy screaming their lungs out and filming the show. Yeah, I could be a background stander in someone’s video, but they definitely would be the main character, not me. Everybody was there to have a good time and enjoy the artists and other people’s outfit. Don’t worry, you’ll do fine. Especially if you also like the music, that will be a connection. And usually the crowd for these artists will make you forget being uncomfortable and you start dancing and singing yourself a bit. Because if you see people crying, screaming, moving as if they are epilleptic but actually are dancing, you are less bothered with how you yourself look. Only regret I had was that I didn’t get to experience the whole living up to the concert feeling, just because of the anxiety.