The golden rule does not work. What if I like to be treated like shit? What if I like physical abuse because it gets me off? Does that mean I should treat others this way?
It’s the reverse; I have to constantly remind myself to treat me like I treat others. I despise myself and have great empathy for others, self empathy might be the foundation of empathy towards others for you, but that’s certainly not universal
Lots of folks replying don’t seem believe in self empathy.
That makes me sad.
Self empathy is the foundation of empathy toward others.
The golden rule - treat others as I want to be treated - only really became effective, for my friends, after I learned to treat myself well.
The golden rule does not work. What if I like to be treated like shit? What if I like physical abuse because it gets me off? Does that mean I should treat others this way?
Agreed. But it is a good default place to we start.
The real skill is empathy - to understand how the other person wants to be treated.
My empathy for others became much more effective after I started practicing empathy for myself.
It was a bit eye opening, to me, to realize how much impact a practice of self-empathy made in my relationships.
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Well said. Particularly
I want to respond (with agreement) to:
Treat others as they ask to be treated is much better.
But I do believe that both benefit from an intentional practice of self-empathy.
It’s the reverse; I have to constantly remind myself to treat me like I treat others. I despise myself and have great empathy for others, self empathy might be the foundation of empathy towards others for you, but that’s certainly not universal
I do, as well.
I said that to myself before, as well.
But I discovered my empathy for others became surprisingly more effective after I started an intentional practice of self-empathy.
Certainly. This is what worked for me, and my relationships.