I do host thanksgiving for more than 20 usually, we do an all-comers meal, whoever wants to come to eat can. It’s fun and I enjoy it and yep everyone brings something but even so it is expensive for certain. Legitimately thankful that we can do this for everyone. But even when I was younger people coming to Thanksgiving brought something, is that not a usual expectation if you are going to a party? At least bring wine or ice or something.
I think it depends on size and relationship. Nobody brought anything to my grandparents (either side) until I started to. But it was always 10-11 people. Except when their same age siblings came, they’d bring something (much younger great aunt was never considerate of oma and opa). At my in laws’ we cook a dish. If we lived in town I’d probably bring a casserole, but even before we moved far away we still were hours away and you don’t want to leave a casserole for hours.
Friends though, always bring a dish except for the ones friend who has made it crystal clear that she doesn’t want people doing so because she’s insane and shows her love through elaborate meal planning. For her we just try to keep her liquor and wine cabinet overstocked and demand she let us help her with anything she wants.
Yeah I cook for Easter and don’t expect anybody to bring anything but it’s not as big as Thanksgiving. We had an enormous Halloween party too, but that was more drinking than eating, we just got a nice veggie platter and fried chicken and some dips & chips (sourdough crackers, tortilla crisps) but good cocktails.
I do enjoy hosting in general, it’s satisfying and a party is more fun for me when I have something to do.
That, and I think a lot of families dont want to put 100% of the stress on one person.
Yeah and also why can’t the uncle do something for a change? The aunt used to be at home all day now she has to.go.to work AND cook for everyone?
I saw a post recently on lemmy that said to include the boys in the cooking and cleaning instead of just the girls. So they get taught that it’s not only a woman’s job to cook and clean. I thought that was just swell
I grew up as a single child (boy) with a single mum for most of my life and that taught me all the life skills I needed to manage a home myself. In hindsight, I’m really thankful for that.
Yeah, help out, other uncles! I brought wine, appetizer trays, and coffee. And I did the dishes afterwards!
Anyone who thinks this was the norm also thinks that women didn’t enter the workforce until World War 2. The real story here is how cost of living is now coming for echelons of society that didn’t have to worry about it before because greedy billionaires require multiple super yachts and support vessels.
Potluck style is the way to go. In addition to what the other posters have mentioned, you get better food that way too: people cook the dish they have the best recipe for. People who are shit cooks can host or clean or w/e.
Get the best everyone has to offer.
I think I need new glasses, this is what I saw
Wait. What changed?
you, i like you.
People acting like potluck Thanksgiving is a novel invention have lived a very privileged existence
I went to a potluck Halloween party this year and honestly it was really cool. Everyone got super into making a dish to bring. I made apple crisp with really high quality apples from a fruit market by my family’s property in Amish country.
I’m going to a Friendsgiving potluck tomorrow and I’m pretty pumped. I was tasked with bringing the booze
I mean, everyone who wants to cook does at least one fish every Thanksgiving here. If they don’t want to cook, they at least have to grab a good pugliese or cheap bottle of Bordeaux
That’s a lot of fish
But why is it seven fishes?
rumor has it if you eat one fish from each of the seven seas at the same meal, you turn into captain planet
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Lovely, romanticizing gendered labour. You guys know poor people have always been around, right?
🛩️
Joke’s clear, it just only makes sense if you’re privileged.
🛩️🛩️
My aunt always hosted but we always brought something to share, usually something that was precooked or didn’t need cooking, like salad or dessert or even just cheese and crackers for an appetizer or something. She still made a ton of food but she didn’t have to do it all on her own, and we all drove a bit to get there; we were the furthest I think at about 2.5 hours away. It was my favorite holiday; just food and family. But I am aware that my family is pretty functional as families go. I am very lucky.
They’ll eat Campbell’s and be happy.
And also cooking for 20 persons is incredibly hard, the spices and seasoning got exponentially higher as portion size increases, and cook time is wildly different than cooking for 4 persons. People these day just doesn’t have the time to master these skill.
Excellent point. Due to our highly processed food today many people have food allergies and food restrictions. In our family alone there are red dye allergies, nut allergies, gluten allergies and those who avoid high glycemic food.
I do occasionally cook for larger groups, and you need entirely different techniques. At home, you don’t need to account for the time the water spends between 70 and 100 degrees because that’s a minute at most. When you’ve got a hundred liters of water, that suddenly becomes very relevant. If you set your timer for 10 of actual boiling, your pasta will resemble porridge.
Also, I don’t personally own cooking gear to make food for 20+ people.
Why do spices scale exponentially?
Yeah, I don’t think that’s right. You follow the recipe and just adjust for portion numbers, the spices don’t scale any differently than that.
Yeah they scale very explicitly in a nx line
I want it to taste my way and that’s too much spice
Water contain(of the ingredient), size of cooking pot, that kind of thing. Of course it won’t be big difference, you just have to adjust accordingly, sometime more sometime less. “exponentially” isn’t a good way to put it but you get the idea. It depend on the thing you cook.
I might give a fuck about my aunt doing all the work if she hadn’t stopped inviting my family to Thanksgiving when I came out of the closet. She can cook and eat a whole bag of dicks, the homophobic cunt.
Well what were you doing hiding in her closet? You weirdo! >:V
Ah the ol Lemmy switcheroo…
Waiting for Thanksgiving dinner. Obviously.
Oddly specific.
I hope you’re living your best life just to spite her.
My sister wants to host Christmas this year,
She made a list of who brings what
It goes
- bread roles
- salad
- other salad
- minor desert
- other minor desert
- sauces
- gravy
Then what I was assigned turkey and ham.
I think I’m in the right being annoyed that um expected to bring the meats to a hosted event I didn’t want to go to whike my wife is 8 months pregnant
Wow, that’s a dick move before the pregnant wife.
Most of that stuff can be picked up for $20 or less, often much less.
Good luck finding a $20 turkey, nevermind a ham, nor cooking it.
You’re completely justified by being annoyed. I’d be fucking pissed.
Combining turkey and ham of all things seems almost deliberate…
Yeah i think so too,
My wife said the same.
I work for myself so sometimes I think my family thinks I make lots of money.
I really don’t, honestly I would make more working for someone else, all I get is some flexibility
Your sister seems clueless regarding how to host these events. Explain to her what we mentioned in the comments here. The host cooks the turkey and ham in their own oven so when the guests arrive it is fresh out of the oven, the gravy also comes from the juices of that same turkey she cooks in her own oven. The stuffing/dressing she would also be responsible for it because that gets jammed up into the turkey that she cooks in her own f***ing oven.
Eh stovetop stuffing is popular enough that it’s reasonable to ask someone to bring it.
That said, general rule is requests can be like “dessert” or maybe a “cheesy casserole”. If someone has a dish they’re good at for potluck it’s reasonable to request that. But if you want specific dishes you should be doing a volunteer sign up
The host makes the turkey. The gravy comes out of cooking the turkey. Who the heck cooks the gravy separate from the turkey? Where is this person going to get the turkey drippings and stock? That makes zero sense.
