Maybe he’s born with it, maybe it’s couch fucking.
My wife’s bras can probably fit him.
Oh Vans guy, you are gonna look so Disney!
I kind of hate that he and I share the same long eyelash gene. It’s not a choice to have such long, luscious and beautiful eyes!
At least I still have fucked significantly less couches though.
I, too, have long eyelashes that women covet, and have only fucked like 6 couches, max.
I also have gorgeous eyelashes. And I’ve never fucked a couch! It would’ve made the vacuum jealous.
nice flex haha
That couch never stood a chance.
Maybe it’s Art Van
What do you think he labels himself as on his Grindr profile, bear? Sloppy otter?
What is up with the Nosferatu ear?
I was going to say, that looks disgusting!
He’s a ghoul obviously.
It’s actually Mountain Dew.
He’d fit right nice as the block bitch
romulan.
I see a sexy fem-Riker. Or maybe it’s a catgirl.
Holy shit - I had heard about this, but those eyes are FIERCE. He looks great though, if only there weren’t anyone rallying against biological men wearing makeup.
Yeah, if he was a progressive I’d be proud to have a senator confident enough in himself to dress like that to work. Instead I’m ashamed because of his actions
His whole look is very not butch. That beard is very well groomed and his hair is immaculate. His skin also looks very cared for. I do believe his dear papa may have been a lumberjack.
Nothing wrong with that of course, but I think he would be a lot happier if he just embraced it, poor thing.
That’s because he’s not a hillbilly. He grew up in Ohio and went to Yale. His grandparents were from Appalachia, so he calls himself a hillbilly- and uses a bunch of bullshit stereotypes about Appalachia while doing it.
There is hillbilly Ohio. Huntington is just across the border and even in Columbus you get a lot of refugees from Appalachia, including my girlfriend. But he’s from fucking Middletown. I’m from the Dayton area with a grandparent who grew up in West Virginia myself, but given that one of my partners grew up in part in rural Tennessee, and even my ex in Lexington was far more Appalachian than I could ever be, I understand that I’m not someone who can claim this.
What gets to me is how Middletown does give him a sob story. It’s been hit hard by the decline of the rust belt. Like, it’s rough by Dayton standards. But he doesn’t want to acknowledge that the money ghouls destroyed his home state
That said, there are well-groomed, eyeshadow wearing straight men. Just look at Travis McElroy. No need to start putting people into boxes based on appearance.
But it would be nice if he weren’t a complete asswipe trying to put people into boxes.
Oh I thought Travis was pan or bi?
He sure looks it, but no, he’s said before that a lot of people assume that (and he’s obviously not bothered) but he’s straight.
I remember him saying that, I thought more had come out since, oops!
With eyes like that, this guy could fuck any couch he wanted
I love that we are firing back with stupid shit like this. The right has gotten away with it for way too fucking long, and too many people have spent too much time answering every false accusation. About time fascist fuckweasels had to do the same.
Wait are you telling me he didn’t fuck a couch?
Oh well there you go he definitely didn’t have sex with a couch. He says he didn’t do it so that’s all folks.
“five years” what happened 6 years ago?
Couch fifi
The first thing my brain grabbed onto is the fact they specified that he hasn’t ever fucked a couch to completion. I’m not a lawyer, but have been told I’d be a good one, but that’s some straight up lawyer-speak right there. Why are you specifying that he hasn’t fucked a couch to completion? Does this mean he has fucked a couch, but he didn’t achieve orgasm?
The next big one was “gieven” and the other misspelled word (I’m on mobile and can’t get the pic back up). Like, this is supposed to be an official statement from the Republican candidates for POTUS and VPOTUS? And you couldn’t have your aid spell check the word “given?” Like, you’re being accused of being sexually attracted to furniture as a VP candidate, and you can’t be bothered to spell check a 5-letter word?
And what’s with the last bullet about jello and other stuff??? Like, are you trying to get ahead of wherever accusations of couch-fucking lead? My brain stopped at couch fucking, but with that last bullet, now I’m thinking he fucks/fucked jello and fruit and shit. Why would you even bring that up?
If this is real, and I’m assuming it is, just… Wow.
Just so we’re a hundred percent clear anyone can wear makeup and shaming someone for doing it is fucking gross.
Shaming them for being hypocrites is chill tho
Take your smug self righteousness and give it to someone who deserves it. This piece of shit would attack anyone who claims that he wears makeup even though he does. It’s not about the makeup. It’s about the turd that’s wearing the makeup
Then make fun of the turd and not the makeup? There’s plenty to make fun of. Why are you mad that you don’t get to be a bigot even when the target of your bigotry is a piece of shit?
You sure do love the smell of your own farts
Cool
Makeup and makeup companies promote unhealthy beauty standards and are responsible for a disproportionate amount of microplastics. No one should wear makeup
I only use all natural whale oil makeup I’m not complicit
People have been wearing and using make-up well before capitalism and make-up companies were even a thought in people’s brains. It’s just a thing humans do, and that’s okay.
I used to think that and tell my wife that. She told me she wears makeup to feel all sorts of things: strong, assertive, sexy, dignified, powerful, invisible, whatever. Who am I to tell her she shouldn’t use eyeliner to feel strong when she’s got a big meeting at work? If you like makeup live your life
Sounds like smokers who say that cigarettes calm them down.
Smoking doesn’t relieve anxiety, not smoking creates it. Same thing applies for people who say they feel unattractive w/o cosmetics.
Outside of something like art performances, there’s no reason for anyone to ever wear makeup
As someone who militantly refuses to wear it to work, I appreciate it as an artistic and stylistic choice. It’s never a tool to hide my face or imperfections but rather to express myself at times. And yes sometimes it makes me feel powerful, much in the same way a dress cut just right for my body makes me feel powerful or wearing steel toe boots into a business meeting makes me feel powerful.
The problem is the expectation of it. If you can’t treat people with respect whether or not we wear it that’s on you.
Yeah this is the guy going after people who wear make up. So I’m absolutely going to make fun of him wearing way too much.
I agree he’s a piece of shit, so why not make fun of the things he’s a piece of shit for and not “lol he’s a BOY who wears MAKEUP and is mean to other BOYS who wear MAKEUP!” It’s a bad look for a group of people who don’t want to be, you know, bigots.
Okay but that’s pretty reductionist.
What? It’s LESS reductionist than just criticizing the makeup wearing alone
He’s not a schoolyard bully.
Are we 100% sure he is wearing makeup or is this unconfirmed like the rumor saying “JD Vance fucked a couch”
He definitely did not fuck a couch and is certainly not banned from Ikea for fucking a Friheten.
And if he did fuck a couch, that’s 100% okay. No kink shaming either.
Not sure we can shame people with a furniture kink either. Funny though.
As someone who has both worn makeup and grinded against furniture in my time, I consent to you making fun of JD Vance for whatever you want.
Sigh…
Seconded
That’s… not how any of this works. With that logic, any gay person can just say “yo, you can be homophobic, I consent”.
As a gay person, I disagree
…okay? If you’re alone with other people, you can tell them that you’re fine with them being homophobic. But in a public space, you’re not the only gay person, and just because it’s okay for you doesn’t mean it’s okay for everyone, so you can’t just say that it’s okay.
Look again at the community you’re in 😂
Yeah, I kinda hate the types of comments that you replied to. “As an x-person, you can make fun of this person for doing x thing.” That’s a really bad precedent to set, kinda like black people having blanket “n-word passes” to give out to white people
Yeah. Even if it doesn’t hurt you, you’re not the only person existing. And it can hurt other people in the same minority, you don’t just get to say that it’s fine for everyone.
There’s plenty of furniture I’d fuck. Check out the shibari lights by bomma
Sigh…
*unzips
Love the designers name: Kateřina Handlová
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Ok first of all there is ZERO evidence that JD Vance has EVER reached completion in the cushiony embrace of a chaise lounge
NONE
I heard there was a glove involved in the incident
I heard he was in a Roche Bobois carpark when it allegedly didn’t happen.
it’s not the mascara itself that people are bashing. it’s the wearing mascara while being in the party of mEn CaNt WeAr MaKeUp\
republicans aren’t saying anything because they’re too busy racisting his non-white wife
racisting
Yeah shame them for being hypocrites but not people for wearing makeup. If you like makeup that’s cool
Can I make fun of him for how poorly he’s wearing it? Honestly, he ain’t wearing it. It’s wearing him.
It’s the most basic eyeliner. Doesn’t even have a hint of cats eye. Smh.
He ain’t got the confidence to rock it like a real man.
i liked this meme because it can be read as celebratory if you are chill, like we are, but also as mocking, if you are a biggot, like his voterbase. so win win
Idk I find all the memes mocking closeted or queer presenting republicans for being closeted or queer presenting pretty gross. A bunch of people who are suffering because they can’t be out is sad, not funny, to me. Even if those people suck. I can still hate the parts that suck and feel sympathy for the parts that don’t.
It is terribly sad - they must live in a world of hurt.
However so many of these people actively try to hurt LGBTQ+ and trans people by inciting hate and changing laws to harm the non-straight. In particular they have been preaching that being gay/trans equates to being a child molester. This is horrific and needs to stop. Exposing the hypocrisy is essential to reducing the harm they are inflicting to real people right now
Fine, then mock them for being hypocrites. So much of the criticism is shit like the Grindr search volume in Milwaukee. What’s the joke - a bunch of gay people came to Milwaukee? They can’t be out? They aren’t who you’d think you were? It’s not funny if you apply it to some other group. It wouldn’t be funny if Republicans made the same comment about the DNC convention.
If you want to mock someone for being a hypocrite, mock them for being a hypocrite. JD Vance sucks in part because he’s a hypocrite, because he wears makeup while criticizing people who don’t adhere to gender norms. To just criticize the makeup alone is not good enough to expose the hypocrisy.
I have to say the mascara is probably the coolest thing about him. Everything else about this guy is absolute dogshit. DeSantis was destroyed by his own base for using heel shoes. It would be funny if Vance got annihilated by MAGA for being a “makeup wearing soyboy” and not being an empty vessel for corruption and political donors who will say and do anything for power
