Took a joy ride on a bulldozer. We built jumps with it and then went over them as fast as that thing would go. No one got hurt and it was a great time, but I think back to how dangerous and stupid it was (no seat belts, one person drove and the rest of us just held onto the cab for dear life, right above the tracks), and realize how lucky we were that nothing bad happened.
Got a discount dog from the pound. It had been adopted and the returned.
I was thinking sweet a $31 dog
Nope. 16 years later I still have this nightmare of an animal
Good on you for giving him a home instead of turning him away tho
Ask me when I’m trying to sleep.
When are you trying to sleep?
I once drove drunk. This was long enough ago the statute of limitations has expired. I shouldn’t have done it, I was really lucky that I didn’t hurt someone or get arrested. For the next 15ish years that I still drank, my limit was 1 drink if I was driving.
This was before Uber & Lyft were a thing, but I still could’ve made arrangements with the bar manager “look dude your bartenders kept serving me when I was visibly drunk, so let me leave my car here overnight without towing it so I can take a cab home, and I won’t say shit to anyone.”
Joined the Army thinking I was going to do some good in the world for my country.
Would the army even exist if it weren’t for young, naive, and/or desperate folk?
Certainly not in the forms it’s been in since the 60’s. They have stepped up their education benefits quite a bit in the last 20 years but the price is still too high if you’re in combat arms and ever have to go do your job for real.
I once tried to be a discord kitten at 16 for a day as a joke and also out of curiosity of the outcome.
Dont.
I’m terribly sorry for your loss of mental health. Getting the vile shit of the internet directed art you as an adult is awful, can’t imagine how tough it is for a 16y/o.
Yea… it was pretty rough first discovering discord. When I did the Kitten thing, I pretended to be 14. My dms were FLOODED in mere seconds, and I wish I was exaggerating. In 3 minutes I got 90 different dms from people. All male. All of em wanted to fuck me. I never even listed anything remotely NSFW or romantic in my server intro. I just said “Hey! 14yo here, I like to play roblox n stuff sometimes and cosplay! I’m just here hoping to make some more friends ;w;”
I feel like I need a shower after reading that but also that’s kinda funny
That’s morbidly hilarious
It very much is. I woulda went full Chris Hanson too if I wasnt a fuckin child.
I’ll take your advice even further: I won’t even try to look up what a “discord kitten” even is.
Good. Now have a cookie! 🍪
I was out of sugar, so I tried to sweeten Kool-Aid with honey. Nope. Just god-awful.
That reminds me of when I tried mixing milk with orange juice because I saw it online. Then, I went into denial trying to keep it down because people wouldn’t just go on the internet and lie, right?
That’s too bad, lemonade made with honey is amazing.
Stepping out of a moving vehicle
Her name was Michelle.
Drive-thru surgery.
Picturing a McDonald’s-esque brag of “Over 50 million malpractice lawsuits filed!”
I wanted to be a porn star as a teen.
That still seems potentially alright to me, at least for awhile.
Lack of sex experience killed my possibilities
Trying drugs, because my friends looked happier doing drugs than I was by not doing drugs.
On the face of it this sounds perfectly legit. If you take drugs responsibly you’ll be happy for a while.
If you take drugs irresponsibly, you could be happy for the rest of your life.
And then ded
WAY more people who aren’t drug users/abusers die than those who are. Check-mate.
trying to unscrew a stubborn hex standoff with my teeth instead of waiting until I could get my driver
“We’ve known each other for 3 months. We should get married.”
Reaching out to catch the falling hatchet I’d just finished sharpening. 13 stitches…
At least now you know you’ve done a good job sharpening it.
Reminds me of that story from reddit where op caught a falling microtome blade and suffered from blood poisoning because the nurse messed up his blood types