She kept going to the bathroom to smoke crack. Then disappeared for good before the check came.

I was living in a house with a few random housemates… people that I didn’t even meet until I had moved in. They were okay… nothing amazing, nothing too terrible. Somehow, the person I was on the date with realized that they used to know one of my housemates, and absolutely hated them, and wouldn’t stop talking about all of the reasons why my housemate was a terrible person.

She was an hour and a half late. I only waited for her because she was responding to my messages, apologized for her tardiness, and said a couple times she’d be there withing 20-30 minutes which led to a 90-minite wait). Once she got there, she told me that she was late because she was having some anxiety that day and went to a friend’s to smoke a bowl first. She chainsmoked on the patio, and I sat away from her because I don’t want to smell that while I’m eating. She told me about a terrible book she was writing, with the sort of stupid plot you’d get from r/writingprompts. And then she said she needed to get high again and asked me if I wanted to come to her car with her while she did. I declined and said I was gonna head home. Proceeded to promply never see her again.

Went out with this girl I really liked but brought a friend too just to make it less one on one and more casual. I really liked her and thought it went well. When I drove my friend home, in conversation, he told me I could do better. It was such a stupid destructive thought. All three of us were into the arts. He was into videography, she was photography, and I was painting airbrushed graphics on motorcycles. I dated her for a little while again later and more seriously, but my life was more of a mess then and it didn’t work out. That was one of my biggest mistakes in life; not realizing my lack of emotional depth and letting other’s opinions hold sway or weight. I partition my emotions now. I’m not sure how I feel in the moment. My first reaction is likely worthless, so “I’ll have to get back to you later” - is my usual response. People who whine about how everyone is about to lose their job at work, or tell me how I should feel about others are like giant red flags telling me to avoid them as toxic. Really, in a way I do not lack emotional depth as much as that part of my inner voice speaks quietly and I need to take the time to listen to it carefully. That girl and life lesson are the same thing to me; an abstracted patch, forever holding that part of my personality. When that red flag flies in my head, she is the one waving it; holding me back; telling me to think it through.

“Sorry I’m so tired, I just got back from the abortion clinic…”

Probably the first one I ever had.

Because my parents were there, too. 😩

Dude tried to rape me. Might be his worst date too because he left with multiple broken fingers and a broken nose. It could have been better for me / worse for him if the cops took it seriously, but the fact that I fought back and he wasn’t actually successful in raping me was enough for the cops to wave it away as a domestic dispute that self-resolved when I left.

A first date was already not going well, and I said I needed to go. He decided that wasn’t happening. Ended up having to run away from him, literally, through a park area while wearing heels to reach my car. It was daytime and many people saw what was happening, but no one did a thing to help. But I’m sure if it hadn’t been daytime, he wouldn’t have “let me” get away after catching me. There were just too many eyes on him.

I wore comfortable shoes I can run in to all first dates after that.

I had one where she obviously wasn’t actually interested and just came for the free food cause she was poor. I hung out for a bit, bought her an extra meal to go and then just left.

A friend persuaded me to go on a date with a girl I wasn’t particularly into. We went for a meal, then she wanted to go clubbing. But I’m not into that either, so she broke down in tears. I was pretty sure I hadn’t said anything that bad, but then the story came out: her ex-partner had the same first name and job as me, and the meal and clubbing were his favourite things, but he’d been found dead in another country with his common law wife and kids, and the similarity to me was effectively his coming back from the dead to be with her again.

No there wasn’t a second date. I haven’t seen her since either. Neither have I taken dating advice off that friend since, although we are still friends.

I took my current gf and my parents to a nice restaurant last night. She mentioned she’d only been there once before, on a date, and that the only reason they went to that restaurant (very $$$) is because he had a gift card and was going to cover the meal. Orders all kinds of expensive stuff. The bill comes and then supposedly he realizes his gift card, if it actually existed in the first place, was for a different restaurant. She ended up having to pay on her CC because he had no other forms of payment. Obviously didn’t work out for him in the end.

Date was fine enough, when the girl gave me a handy like she was trying to strip me with sandpaper, that’s where things went south.

It was a date with the popular boy from school. I was either eight or seven while he was either seven or six, we were in a venue we chose to go to on our own without our parents. It was a whim decision because we just thought that’s what boyfriends and girlfriends did, we were barely monetarily prepared nor did we think to change out of our school uniform. Little me ruined the date by guiding its course too much and dictating when each step of the date took place before putting him in a position to pay. In hindsight I feel bad.

It was going okay before dude started bragging about how he went out with a lady not too long before. He wasn’t all that into her and he said she clearly wasn’t into him, but he paid for dinner and guilted her into going home with him because he “might as well get something out of paying for her.” Giant red flag at this point. I went to the bathroom, when I came back the bill was on the table. He claimed that the server had brought it as one bill, rather than separate, and pointed out that she’d drawn a heart around the total in red pen. He refused to let me pay for my portion.

The thing is, it’s standard practice for servers to ask if the bill should be together or separate here, and I’d always been asked at that particular bar. Dude wasn’t a local and clearly didn’t know that. This guy told me about how he used “but I paid so now you owe me” to coerce a woman he knew wasn’t interested into having sex with him, and then immediately tried the same bullshit on me. He had deliberately asked for a single bill while I was away from the table. I’m reasonably certain he’s the one who drew the heart on the bill too.

Needless to say, it didn’t work. He still tried to drag me off to catch the train in his direction with him and got real upset when I told him to fuck himself and bolted. I’m very glad it was an early date so it was still light out. This guy did not take kindly to being told no.