- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/45436045
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This is why you shouldn’t use windows. Switch to Linux.
Man beaten to death by penguins will be the next title.
Pacemaker driver had a critical bug.
Which caused him to go terminal
I feel like we all knew this was not the onion. The onion would be a Russian oligarch dying in any different manner.
Russian Oligarch missing after falling up out of window.
Russian oligarch dead from falling window, officials on scene say “huh, well that usually happens the other way round doesn’t it?”.
or falling out after installing a new set of windows
Russian oligarch dies peacefully in his sleep of old age.
Mikhail Roguchev died peacefully in his sleep last Thursday evening surrounded by his family and the heavy iron chains he had fashioned to keep him from being thrown through a window…
Window killed by russian oligarch
Russian window manufacturer issues recall after hundreds of fatalities.
Russian oligarch survives assassination attempt by leaping out window
This is the onion article.
deleted by creator
Old tricks are the best tricks.
I always see people commenting on stories like this with things like “how does anyone actually believe that/think anyone will believe that?”
Well, that’s exactly the point. It’s not about the death being convincingly accidental. It’s very much about sending a message to others.
You don’t eliminate the competition and agitators with the exact same method of execution for 30+ years (with a few false-flag apartment bombings thrown in for good measure) and expect to keep things covert.
The only way they could make it more obvious is the “he hogtied himself, ate a cyanide capsule, jumped out the window and shot himself twice in the back of the head on the way down” trope.
If it was a good deterrent, why does it keep happening?
I’m serious. I don’t get it.
Putin has been in power for 25 years. He arguably has more enemies than anyone else on the planet. I’d say the deterrent factor is pretty strong with this one.
It’s not perfect though. When you’re destroying your own country with the most disastrous war in living memory then you need stronger deterrents.
As chonglibloodsport said, it’s a numbers game.
When you have enough enemies, and keep making more, you’re going to keep getting people who have had enough and don’t care about the risk.
If it weren’t for the “Russian suicide”, putin would have been black bagged long ago by someone who WOULD.
In some cases, the people in power change their minds and suddenly an oligarch who was compliant becomes a target.
Exactly. They don’t have a signature poison because they don’t want people to know what happened
It’s the same with the vote rigging being caught on camera. It’s deliberately careless. “I’ve rigged the vote, so don’t even try”
Phillip J. Fry is getting very very tired of questioning his state of shock…
Fell right into 20 bullets… Wow what a unfortunate accident.
I hope elon has a lovely view.
Still useful to the Putain at the moment, but yeah, I hope so too.
Autoerotic defenestration is a big fetish in Russia.
It’s barely even funny at this point.
Although I’d quibble about Newsweek defining this guy as an oligarch. He was vice president at a company that was disbanded due the company president’s opposition to Putin. It’s very possible this guy is just a former executive that refused to bend or hand over some dirt or something. It doesn’t appear he fits the definition of oligarch at all.
Unless we’re just using the word to refer to all Russians above peasant.
Russian man promoted to oligarch after falling from window to his death
This has to be an onion headline at this point, no?
An office with a view to die for
It’s the wholesale murder of political enemies to consolidate power by an autocrat.
I don’t think it was ever “funny”.
Future generations of Russians will gain immunity to fall damage once they weed out the ones still complying with the law of gravity.
I hope all American Oligarchs watch every window victim with wide eyes. This is the future you are funding with Trump.
No no no. It will never happen to me. I am one of the smart oligarchs/good immigrants. He will just murder/deport the others.
I really will have to insist on an “/s”, sir.
Sad but true these days
To be fair, it’s been true since text based public commenting became a thing.
Its gotten so much worse over the last decade though. The line between satire and reality is as thin as ever.
Nonsense, our oligarchs are One of the Good Ones™
🙄
They really need more durable windows over there.
No! More soft ground.
Or softer oligarchs, they don’t seem bouncy enough.
Hm… Putting them in those bouble balls would be good
Isn’t the acceleration worse if you bounce?
Not in Russia.
