E: Da Rules

  • The teleportation can only be used to move you.

  • Your clothes and basic personal items (the things you take with you everytime you leave the house) will teleport with you, but nothing else.

  • Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world
    46·
    16 days ago

    Right next to Vladimir Putin. Only wish I carried a gun or knife or something but we’re about to find out if an obese middle aged man can strangle to death an elderly Russian. Actually, let’s make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.

    I know there are probably better things or at least less suicidal things i could do but it’s a chance to give my life meaning and the best I could think of.

    • perestroika@lemm.ee
      9·
      16 days ago

      Actually, let’s make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.

      I would predict success, martyrdom (75% chance) and impressive headlines. :D

      If you could convince his bodyguards that the main computer of an alien spaceship sent you as a sick joke to prevent nuclear war, they might spare you for bargaining. Whether you’d be spared long enough for revolution to happen and get home - not sure.

      As a practising anarchist, I would also volunteer, my everyday items even include several cans of pepper spray, a multitool and a heavy laptop with a detachable battery (to commit some battery).

  • WarlockLawyer@lemmy.world
    63·
    17 days ago

    Whatever the biggest televised event is in the next twenty four hours. I’m going to materialize naked live in air screaming “the end is nigh unless we repent” and then go into a list of ecological and social reforms.

      • seaQueue@lemmy.world
        22·
        17 days ago

        “The rapture started and I was sent back here, God really wants us to stop using fossil fuels”

        • BatrickPateman@lemmy.world
          9·
          17 days ago

          Planet saved for now but at the cost of giving rise to believes of christian fundamentalists.

          I’d rather have the planet slowly cooked still, tyvm.

    • Monument@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
      4·
      16 days ago

      I’d do the opposite. Crash the biggest event I can find with ample media coverage, grab a mic, explain that I’m projecting myself backward through time from 200 years from now, and that I don’t have much time, and now is when it all goes wrong. To save everyone we need to

      [Teleport to my living room]

      I’m kidding, of course. I’d probably just waste it on something dumb(er).

    • brrt@sh.itjust.works
      2·
      16 days ago

      I can already hear “The mainstream media is playing tricks on us to keep us from enjoying ourselves by [insert any dumb shit like rolling coal or something]“

      • ApatheticCactus@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        16 days ago

        Odd train of thought: what would the rolling coal equivalent be for an EV? Just wasting fuel for something that looks cool… So high voltage discharge under the car shooting lightning bolts? That actually sounds kinda cool, now that I think about it, but it is wasteful.

  • Crashumbc@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    16 days ago

    That’s a lot of limitations. I take my dog every time I leave the house! Maybe cheat and also take my passport :p

    That said, probably somewhere like Aus or NZ…

    It’d have to be extremely public, preferably during a live broadcast sporting event or something. To generate buzz and news. Hoping that’s enough for them to let me stay and make some money :p

    Or challenge someone to a race. Or an escape challenge make some money. The problem here I is getting it set up in time.

    • frank@lemmy.world
      3·
      16 days ago

      You can take your passport, but it’s going to interesting when you try to leave the county with no record of entering. Getting back into your home county will be fun too.

  • CheeseNoodle@lemmy.worldEnglish
    15·
    16 days ago

    So the ISS would probably be the coolest place I could go to but first I’d open up a GPS app on my phone and also set the camera recording so that it could potentially gather interesting data about the teleportation.

  • Alexstarfire@lemmy.world
    11·
    17 days ago

    Is the rover on Mars still taking pics? Cause I’d teleport there. Just to make everyone wonder how I got there.

    • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
      11·
      17 days ago

      Is the rover on Mars still taking pics? Cause I’d teleport there. Just to make everyone wonder how I got there.

      Not just one but TWO rovers are on Mars taking pics right now. This would work for the picture, and then you’d die pretty quick from the water boiling out of your body from the low pressure atmosphere. Worth it.

  • palordrolap@fedia.io
    20·
    17 days ago

    I should probably use it to telefrag one of the active, living war criminals or one of their influential lackeys, but it’s kind of hard to choose.

  • Mango@lemmy.world
    23·
    17 days ago

    So many bedrooms to choose from… Gotta figure out how I can identify which ones have the horniest occupants.

    • Insig@lemmy.worldEnglish
      5·
      16 days ago

      Trying to understand this.

      “Jack, I’m so horney. Have your way with me like one of your French girls” - Rose Flourishes her hair back in the draw me pose

      “Yeah, baby cakes” - Jack Doffs clothes

      Crack! Mango appears in the middle of the room. “Room for on…” - Mango

      “Ahhhhhhh” - Jack/Rose

      Mango instantly kills the mood and causes sheer panic. Gets no happy fun time and is stuck on the Titanic without his towel.

      • Mango@lemmy.world
        2·
        16 days ago

        LMAO!!!

        I’d have to aim for one of those dudes watching the sissy hypno telling them to suck the next dick they see.