like being told to “move my fat ass” or just plain annoying and then telling me they were joking.
They really think everything is ok as long as it’s just a joke
Because punch them in the face. That’s how you stop that behavior.
Oh, did I punch you in the face? It was just a joke!
And suddenly they think twice about being an asshole.
Using their logic against them never works.
Oh, it’s not the logic that works. It’s the punch in the face.
“I was an asshole…and that guy punched me. I want to be an asshole…but I don’t want to get punched again…”
Thats a simplified version of it. The extended version is multiple punches to the face.
That’s terrible advice. Use words not your fists, unless you want to be arrested.
Hit them with a bigger insult and call it a joke. ‘Sorry, I couldn’t hear you as I was overwhelmed by the horror of your hideous face. Just a joke.’ Or ‘I’m fat because your (insert family member here) feeds me when I fuck them.’
Did you or did you not move your fat ass?
There is this strange belief that humor is exempt from consequences.
In the book “Jam” by “Yahtzee Croshaw” there is a post-apocalyptic sect formed by a group of people from an internet forum. They are not stupid of course; they form a sect ironically. Then they worship a rambling drunk old man called Bob ironically and have ironic sermons and ironically imprison nonbelievers at the ironic orders of the High Priest.
If you point out that this is stupid and evil, they will roll their eyes and go “Duh!”, then ironically execute you for heresy.
lol that sounds great. Is it a comedy?
He’s the guy who did the Zero Punctuation game reviews for The Escapist so probably.
Note he still does hose kind of videos under a different name for Second Wind.
Good to know. Thank you!
And also is still writing books! I think it came before Jam, but Mogworld is a great one.
An interesting but largely unrelated aside: he’s also the one who coined the term “PC Master Race,” apparently.
edit: Corrected a word.
it’s a sign of immaturity, imo. a “look at me, senpai” move that hurts other people.
Along with assholes testing boundaries that others have said. It can also be someone trying to be witty and speaking before they processed the implications of what they said. I know I have done that but I also showed regret when telling someone I meant it in jest.
Your examples are clearly not that though they were just an ass and didn’t want to deal with the consequences of being such.
I think that some people are just assholes. And other people are too sensitive.
Sometimes its a bit of both. Sometimes its one or the other.
I enjoy mercilessly shit talking people who mercilessly shit talk me back. But I have the social awareness to recognize when this isn’t appropriate, and to treat people the way they want to be treated, not how I want to be treated.
The difference between a joke and bullying is entirely down to the victim. They are allowed to be as sensitive as they want. “Its just a joke” tries to turn it back on them. The only reasonable response is along the lines of "I intended it as a joke, but obviously screwed up. I’m sorry. "
The only grey area are those who are happy to dish it out, but not receive. You should expect people to wind you up to the same level you wind them/others to.
“It’s just a joke” is perfectly valid, dammit. Once. After that, do not repeat it - you already know the person you aim it at doesn’t enjoy it.
Nope.
It’s down to you to either read the room correctly or apologise for getting it wrong. You just don’t get judged too harshly for the first offence.
It’s called bullying.
They’re bullying you.
there are so many ways to approach this but i like to see it as decency being reduced to a mask people wear- their true selves come out every now and then. you can subsequently ask what are the conditions for these outbursts? general malaise, exhaustion, pressure, and all the myriad things our moods are vulnerable to.
Because the last thing some people want to do is be accountable
Just ignore them, and if they don’t tell them to stop, and if they have a hissyfit over being told to stop don’t labour the point.
this is known as schrodinger’s asshole. they are serious or kidding depending on the results they get
Given your example I assume its in person. You can’t take anything online very seriously as you don’t know if you talking to an 8 or an 80 years old physically or mentally. Ironically I will now continue giving my online opinion as if it matters. From my experience the only time this could be a joke is among a group of male friends who are close. Maybe some females are like this but not in my experience it not as common. Its like the talk you might see in bbc where their always calling each other cunt. Now once in awhile the group might be together and their migh be some new folks or strangers but there is enough folks from the group where one will fall into the mode of acting like that even in mixed company. Some guys like to push to that level of intimacy (they won’t want to call it that. intimacy with other males. but thats what it is). Some families related in this way and as I said im sure some groups of girls might and it might even be common now for all I know. Anyway though this is a very particular scenario and any other thats just an insult and the joke thing is something weak individuals do because they say things looking for other people to back them out and when it does not happen they don’t have the spine to meet their mouth.
People will test the quality of a communication channel by saying nonsensical things on that channel, to see if those interpreting the message believe the nonsense.
It’s a way of affirming a bond of understanding between people.
Depends. Sometimes they take a bad swing at a joke and realize they fucked it up… sometimes though they’re just assholes they are trying to cover being an ass.
It’s usually a matter of context to tell which is which.
Oh yeah that’s generally true, but something like calling a person fat just sounds like someone’s being an asshole and then when they get called out they turn it into your problem for being “too sensitive” because it was “just a joke” – ie. continuing to be an asshole
this happens to me all the time
tfkirp issthty
Most of the times I swing and miss with a joke, the other person just doesn’t connect with my humor. Instead of being offended, I find they’re just confused by what just happened.
For example, I had a joke I found funny, but apperently I’m the only one who finds it funny.
See, what you do is…you go to a place that wouldn’t have mustard, like a bus stop. And you ask
Uhhhh…where’s the mustard?
And they say something that indicates they don’t know, or there isn’t any. And you say
Oh, ok. Sorry.
I find that joke hilarious. Nobody else gets it. But they aren’t offended…
Over time, you start seeing a pattern. If the (superficially) rude things mostly make you laugh, it’s the former, if they mostly make you feel bad, it’s the latter.
If your neighbour’s donkey is eating your flowers you’re entitled to ask them to move their fat ass.
The correct thing to do with a swing and a miss like that is to apologize. If there’s no apology, it’s the asshole thinking they have an actual excuse.
