Every time I see that little red number in my inbox, my first thought is: Did I mess up? My brain jumps to the worst-case scenario—maybe I said something controversial, and now everyone’s correcting me and downvoting my stupid comments. Even though, most of the time, the messages are actually helpful and fun, that number still triggers some sort of insecurity and anxiety. The bigger it gets, the louder my worries grow.

Logically, I know I don’t screw up that often, and most feedback is neutral or even positive. But deep down, my insecure monkey brain panics at the thought of being wrong—or worse, publicly called out. Even when I’m right, the number still makes my stress levels spike up. What if people disagree with me? What if they don’t like what I wrote?

And yes, I see the irony in posting this. Writing about it is basically asking for it and feeding the very anxiety I’m trying to ignore. Maybe it’s my version of exposure therapy.

  • kepix@lemmy.world
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    16 days ago

    its usually cause the communist gang or the linux gang has discovered my opinion. no need for alarm.

  • ILoveUnions@lemmy.world
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    17 days ago

    I say relatively controversial shit(not to troll–things I actually believe in) quite often. I’ve gone since gotten used to lists of disparaging comments. It’s better to take it as an interaction dopamine hit

  • FishFace@lemmy.world
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    18 days ago

    Coming from reddit where I used to post on big current affairs subs there isn’t really anything comparable here.

    I comment to put my opinion across and also to be challenged. It takes me a long time to change my mind on something but it’s only by hearing opposing views that it ever happens. In the meantime I generally enjoy defending my position and that’s what I’m here for. It’s a different perspective from yours but if a bunch of people disagree with me I don’t think that I’m “being corrected” I think “my correct opinion is in the minority here.”

    Sometimes I do get a feeling of “here we go again”, that’s all

    • chaosCruiser@futurology.todayOP
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      18 days ago

      You’re approaching it in a more sensible way, and I prefer that style too. It’s just that my immediate emotional response to seeing the number is not in line with that sort of thinking. Most of the comments are totally harmless, so why worry so much. Some part of my mind just does irrational things.

        • chaosCruiser@futurology.todayOP
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          18 days ago

          So far, so good. We’ll see how that works out when I wake up tomorrow and look at a mountain of unread notifications. People on the other side of the planet tend surprise me.

  • Fyrnyx@kbin.melroy.org
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    18 days ago

    No.

    Unless it’s going to be full of assholes with shitty replies for me to block from, then it’s a chore.

    • chaosCruiser@futurology.todayOP
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      18 days ago

      Yeah… Thanks, I guess. I knew what I was getting into, and I got what I deserve.

      Then again, I would have done the exact same thing in your place, so I have exactly zero moral high ground here.

  • Strider@lemmy.world
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    18 days ago

    It’s like a box of candies…

    Surprising constructive discussion or did I clumsily step on someone’s ego again?

    • chaosCruiser@futurology.todayOP
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      18 days ago

      Yeah, that randomness can be addictive… and anxiety inducing. You never know which seemingly harmelss comment kicks up the hornet’s nest and which doesn’t until it’s too late.

      • Strider@lemmy.world
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        18 days ago

        I guess I don’t comment enough for that to happen. Or I’m too old and don’t gaf if even I myself sometimes can’t follow my thoughts.

    • chaosCruiser@futurology.todayOP
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      16 days ago

      The number of comments, likes, upvotes, responses and other metrics rarely tell you about how interesting you and your comments are. Let’s say there’s a post with 100 upvotes, and the top comment has like 50 upvotes. If you drop a comment there, you can expect to get 10-30 upvotes. Not more than 50, because the the parent comment already has 50. In some rare cases, the child comment can get more upvotes than the parent, but don’t count on it.

      You are still a wonderful person even if you get only a handful of comments or upvotes. Even if you got zero, that doesn’t change who you are or how good your comments are. These metrics usually tell you something about the time and place of the comment.

      The content matters too, but to a lesser extent. If the comment is all middle fingers, don’t expect many upvotes. Although, there are always exceptions. Posting the classic “fuck spez” is the kind of hostility people can get behind.

        • chaosCruiser@futurology.todayOP
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          16 days ago

          That makes me miss the old forum days where everyone had some fancy bonus text (a signature) at the bottom of each post. Why don’t we have signatures any more on any platform? Was it really such a bad idea that it died with the forums?

  • Krudler@lemmy.world
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    16 days ago

    No, because I use Boost and I do not let it check notis. I revisit comments that I would like to have a conversation around and I look for meaningful responses. I really don’t care what the average person says as most of the time it’s the player piano music in their head, or some logical fallacy.

    • chaosCruiser@futurology.todayOP
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      16 days ago

      This is the way. Basically, the rule 1 of internet.

      Always react based on the title, ignore any news articles or long explanations the post may have. Never click the news article, since we all know journalists are very good at conveying the core message in the title without implying anything even a little bit distorted. On top of that, the average Joes posting their random ideas are also professionals when it comes to crafting descriptive post titles.

    • chaosCruiser@futurology.todayOP
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      18 days ago

      Normally it’s like 0-2. On days when I write more actively, it gets a bit higher. If I happen to drop a comment in a popular thread at the right time, it can suddenly jump to 3-5, and that’s when I start to worry. Did I cross some line I wasn’t aware of, or maybe I was just at the right place at the right time. Who knows. 🤷 It’s probably ok, but my subconscious mind immediately jumps to conclusions, naturally expecting the worst.

    • chaosCruiser@futurology.todayOP
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      16 days ago

      Yeah, anxiety is a pretty strong word, but feeling worried is what I’m really talking about. You know, that uncomfortable feeling that you may have said something wrong and you’re worried about what people might say. It’s in the the same general direction as anxiety, but nowhere near as extreme as actual clinical anxiety. Maybe “worrying for nothing” is a more fitting expression for this thing.