I saw a guy dressed as a moose carrying another guy who looked stoned get almost run over by a ship.
Dropping acid at the furry convention…
People don’t believe that I chased after people in the desert.
I rolled a Hummer on a high-speed pursuit in the Chocolate Mountains on the Mexico/US border and was ejected. I got amnesia from the impact, but besides that and some scrapes, I was fine.
I really hope those weren’t immigrants, or this story would have a very different tone to it.
Nah, scrappers. It’s a bombing range and some people look for unexploded ordinance.
Tuesdays, am I right?
Went to an orgy and didn’t have sex with anyone, on purpose. I did, however, play naked baby oil handcuff twister. Which was hilarious and painful.
Naked baby oil handcuff twister actually sounds really super fun
The internet never fails to make me feel vanilla AF.
I always like to play “Whorer Hoedown” on Halloween.
it’s a game where I watch the adults walking down my street on Halloween and see if I can guess which ones are going to the swinger orgies before they get there.
I’m pretty good tbh.
Statistically… there’s always going to be someone invited to orgies
Mathematically… there has to be more than 2 or 3 people invited to orgies
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I don’t see how that’s hard to believe.
I got shot with an arrow but it hit my rib and bounced off. I’m sure my jacket also did some deflection too.
A friend thought he could land an arrow next to me to surprise me - Turns out he’s a bad shot.
“friend”
Whew. I did some bow shooting, this is no joke. Unless the arrow tip was dull, but still, it could have pierced you
I’m not sure who believes and who doesn’t, but I’ve been in more than 30 car collisions. I’m not sure exactly how many because I’ve lost track.
One was an offset head-on collision. I think the other driver fell asleep. He claimed I came into his lane and hit him, but the impact shattered the windshield washer fluid in my car, and destroyed the front-right tire. The impact left a puddle of fluid in the middle of my lane, and the rim of the front right wheel left grooves in the street leading from where my car stopped back to the point of impact.
I was sideswiped three times. All three were hit and runs. One of them was caught on my dash cam and I got my deductible back. The other two got away.
All the rest were rear-end collisions. It happened so many times that I started to think I must be doing something wrong, but I couldn’t figure out what. Around that time I happened to look in the rear view mirror just before the impact to see the driver looking down at something on the passenger seat beside him.
Since then, I’ve understandably become very aware of what the drivers behind me are doing.
The last two times:
In late 2021 I was approaching an intersection and had a green light, but on the other side of the intersection was a school bus letting out kids. I stopped, and the jeep behind me hit me at full speed. My truck was totaled. I was knocked very briefly unconscious, but I was able to control the truck as I was pushed through the intersection and stopped.
Ironically, I had been thinking about trading in my truck for a new model. That day, on the drive home before the collision, I decided I wanted to keep it.
At the time, getting a replacement took months. I was getting to and from work driving the Civic that we bought for the kids to use. Two months after the truck was totaled I was in slow, stop-and-go traffic. Every time I had to stop, the car behind me would pull all the way up to within inches of my bumper. I wanted to scream at him. Of course, the person behind him hit him, and pushed him into me.
Luckily, that time it was slow, low speed impact. Easy damage to fix.
For the love of all that’s holy, follow at a safe distance! Three seconds minimum between you and the car in front of you. And when you stop, stop far enough back to see where the tires on the car in front of you touch the street.
If you want to slipstream (aka, drafting), become a race car driver.
30? Insurance must be a nightmare
I haven’t had my rates increase noticeably for any of the accidents.
I had the same thought…
I’ve totaled 3 cars in the last 5 years (one deer on a blind curve on a county highway, 2 from hail) and the only change is this year they raised my deductible by $500…which given my only claims have been total losses I’m not sure how that really lowers their risk but I’ll take it
Whenever you see a driver following too closely or driving erratically try to get away from them, change lanes, let them pass, whatever. Also try not to drive next to other cars. Stagger positions so if they have to serve into your lane they won’t hit you. Last tip is don’t drive in people’s blind spot when they are in the next lane. Pull ahead of them or let them get in front of you
I learned in New Jersey: driver following too close? Foot off the gas. You do not put it back on until they have angrily passed you and sped off into the night.
Whewwwww… not doubt you’ve become hyper aware now. Where I live, a big proportion of drivers do not understand minimum distance. They will keep one meter behind you even as you drive 70+. There are few things in life that get me as irate as this.
Mood. My city is usually bumper with people squeezing up against each other so people can’t get in. The only way to get around is too not participate. Use a bike if you can
Well, not 30 for me, but I’ve been rear ended driving ~5 times. Not even sudden stop issues or anything, like, literally sitting at a stop light and the next person just doesn’t stop and hits me.
One time was waiting for a train and a dude in a huge SUV slammed into me. They tried to offer me $200 cash to not report it to insurance, I said fuck off. Ended up being like a $12,000 repair and they literally said, “fuck you” on the phone to me with the insurance agents on the line.
I saved someone’s life in the back woods while backpacking.
We tried to cross a water crossing we should NOT have tried to cross, whitewater and way too fast. A few folks came down the other side of the trail and we eventually rigged our bear ropes into a hand hold across the river, maybe 40’ wide. Took about 10min to cross and I almost got swept away. First one from their group to cross got stuck, lost her footing, and was holding onto the rope with like 3 fingers. I rushed out and grabbed her pack. Not sure how I got back there so quick but hauld her back up and helped the rest cross. When I got back to the other side my legs were cut TF up from the rocks.
I dont cross white water now.
Back when I was 17, I had a neighbor pull a gun right to my forehead. I shoved him away and said, in essence, “yeah, fuck you with your BB gun, I have some shopping to do”. He shot another neighbor in the gut not long after. I avoided death by dumbfounding him in a way that sound like it comes right out a daydreaming teenage fantasy.
😱
Glad you’re OK. But also wtf is wrong with this neighbor and I hope they’re doing time?
He had been arrested by the time I came back with my grocery bags. He was the “get out of my lawn” kind of guy, who could pick a fight for the most benign reason. Last I heard of him was when his nephew emptied his house some years later. He’d been placed in a psychiatric ward.
I woke up one morning and found a skinned moose in my yard.
Much better than waking up naked next to it. Not that I’d know what that’s like. Nope.
OMG!
RFK Jr. dumped it there
And thus the cycle has been completed
I got harassed by men by the gay bar outside my apartment multiple times in my early twenties, back when I was a guy. They were all pretty minor overall, but it definitely freaked me out at the time. I lived in an apartment complex above a gay bar in downtown. It was a shitty, cheap place where there was no washer or dryer in unit and no fan in the bathroom. Mold was a constant problem.
One time, I was informed I “swish so hard I bring three people with me”, a quote that’s stuck with me forever, and then a dude stood close by while another guy stroked my face. I had my dog with me so I didn’t know what else to do and basically just ran.
Another time I was leaving the pizza shop also in this building complex, and a couple drunk guys out there struck up a conversation that quickly became my chest and crotch getting groped. Honestly less creepy than the face stroking, ngl.
I uh, transitioned since all of that happened though. And some random chick like me saying some drunk guys at the gay bar really wanted to grope me doesn’t really carry much weight at this point.
That’s really quite shocking!
Is it? Are you queer? A butch lesbian just touched me in a gay bar cause she had one too many
Somehow I don’t imagine gay men being the bullies/rapists that I know straight men can be. Good reminder they come in all shapes and sizes. Are these kind of encounters any less common now, post-transition?
Not everyone born with a penis is a bully/rapist. Please stop perpetuating this idea.
You’re right, but it’s also like a 9:1 ratio between penis-havers and vagina-havers doing the violence and the raping. 🤷♂️
Both statements can be true at the same time: The vast majority of men aren’t rapists, and the vast majority of rapists are men. That is, unfortunately, how statistics work.
That’s going to be easy, because I didn’t even start
Yeah, haven’t had any issues since, fortunately.
Yeah umm…I cam hardly remember any crazy women, but I got so much of it from men…as a man.
Forests and bears seem really tempting, I literally did research on how much it would cost.
back when I was a guy.
So, now you are girl? But you weren’t before?
Yeah, pretty much. I know different trans people think about themselves pre-transition differently, but that’s how I see it for myself
Let’s ask this a different way, you were a biological male, are you still a biological male?
I just don’t really care tbh. I know my chromosomes haven’t changed, I’m fully sterile, and at this point the nature of my biology only really effects my doctors. I’m under no delusion that I can one day give birth or anything, if that’s what you’re driving at?
So, Im sorry, for my own understanding, are you sterilized from drug treatment?
the nature of my biology only really effects my doctors.
Come on now… I know that cant be true. Friend, be true to yourself. This world can be truly backwards, dont Listening to the judgemental voices that say you need to be something different. I promise you, be your tru r self and you will be happy. Dont listen to the voices that say you are wrong a nd need to change!.. focus… get centered. Love
Oh no, I’ve had surgery. I don’t have a penis or testicles any more.
And thank you, but don’t worry. I’m pretty secure in my identity at this point. I’m much happier in my skin than I ever was before. I just meant like, I’m running on estrogen now, I have a body I can feel comfortable in, and so I don’t know that it really matters in a practical sense what chromosomes I have or whether I’m “technically male” or something.
Its wild stuff. Thank you for indulging me. I hope i could ask a couple more questions? Like, how long ago now did you get bottom surgery (I just started learning terms like that). And, not trying to dox you, but what decade of your life did you get it done? Like over 20? Under 20? Over 30, or 40? Just in general not specific. Im glad your comfortable and doing ok. Ive watched some videos of people “detransitioning” the last couple days and I feel very sorry for some of these folks, and I was watching one person yesterday that had had bottom surgery, but then later realized its not something they should have done. So yours sounded like a similar situation at least, except the regret part. Anyway, thanks again friend.
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sex != gender
Be nice. Last and only warning.
People who understand medical science don’t use the term “medical truth.”
People who understand medicine know the difference between sex and gender.
You said way more than “no man had ever had a baby.” Which is also not entirely true, trans men have gotten pregnant.
If you’re trying to say “no male human has ever gotten pregnant” well, that’s a bit fuzzy, too, if you consider everyone with an XY chromosome “male.”
trans men have gotten pregnant.
Yeah… trans men. Meaning, people that were born female. No one born male has ever been impregnated, no womb. No one born female has ever impregnated someone, no testicles. And im trying to be polite, try not to be offended but imo, that is the most crucial part, that means no has ever actually changed gender, imo. Anyone can have surgery and change their appearance, or take drugs to change how they feel, but does that really mean someone has changed changed sex? To me, not in the most defining way it hasn’t. I really hope im not missing off anyone too much. Im been as nice and cordial but plainly about my opinion. And thats all this is, my opinion.
I got a moose one hunting season and decided to butcher it myself. Finished skinning the thing (took hours) and it just disappeared, no clue where it ended up.
Lol wtf? The skin walker totally fucking played you, bro.
RFK Jr’s car.
Omg I like how everyone is just doing collaborative fiction writing on here, like SCP: Lemmy Edition or something.
Wait, you skinned it for hours but it wasn’t dead, and just walked off? Or it was dead and some animal took it while you weren’t looking?
I went to a party at a friend’s house (I had never been to his house before, we were just friends from college) and a bunch of people are in his hot tub. It was dark out. I decided to get in, and assumed the deck his hot tub was sitting on continued on behind the hot tub. It did not, and there was a roughly 6 foot drop on the back side. I walk over to get in, step off the deck accidentally, do a complete front flip and land on my feet. They all yell “Are you ok?” and then I get back on the deck completely unscathed.
No one that wasn’t there ever believes this story.
That’s a crazy story. I whish you good fortune in the future too.
A Møøse once bit my sister… No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: “The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink”…
This is tangentally related, if I ever meet a celeberty, and get the chance I would ask if they could take a photo of me, not with them in shot, but them taking the photo.
I just find it hillarious that I would have a random photo of me with a hidden history that could never be proven, and I believe that most celeberties would find it funny to do the reverse of what they normally have to do with fans.
My closest brush with celebrity was being peripherally involved in the skating scene back in the day and in the same town as Bam Margera, when he was just starting to get famous. Bam is, was, and probably always will be 5’4" worth of complete flaming douchenozzle. It’s no surprise that everyone had a story about how that one time they almost kicked Bam Margera’s ass. Or actually did fight him. I imagine this would have gotten significantly more difficult over time as his entourage of groupies and sycophants grew ever larger. Eventually he stopped making local appearances altogether. I’m sure as he tells it that’s because he was now so famous that everyone else was clearly beneath him and he was now untouchable, but I imagine the real reason was much more pragmatic: it was probably only a matter of time before somebody finally put a hole in him, and he knew it.
So yeah. This one time at a skate park in the Philly suburbs, I came this close to beating Bam Margera’s ass. I would have won, too, if it stayed mano-a-mano. But it wouldn’t have, because he’s a little punk.
I think the closest I’ve ever been to a “celebrity” was this guy. He was doing a show out something near where I lived, and he came into the pizza restaurant where I worked.
The wait staff said there was a guy from Family Ties in the restaurant. I went out to see who they were talking about. Then I went back in the kitchen. I still don’t understand what they were excited by.
I could understand if it was someone big. If it was Michael J Fox I might have been impressed. I couldn’t imagine getting excited about Marc Price.
I’ve done this. The blank look on his face is a priceless memory for my kids and I.
Who was it?
Tbh, with AI and Deepfake these days, even a photo with them can’t be proven to be legit.
I don’t expect people to believe things just because I say I experienced them, but can’t think of anything that’s happened that NOBODY believes, I am much more often surprised by how much they do.
Why are there no ghost stories in this thread… Im disappointed.
Because ghosts don’t exist.
Sure, but ghost stories are fun and it’s also fun trying to figure out what it could’ve really been.
You sure about that?
Yep.
Alright, I got one.
One night, I was sitting alone in the house playing video games in the middle of the night. There was nobody else in the house besides my cats, who usually spend the night lounging around. Well, out of nowhere, I hear the microwave go off, as if someone pressed three buttons and hit “start” in the same manner and rhythm that I usually do. I was in complete disbelief and walked out of my room. I could see the microwave working from where I was standing, so I walked up to it, goosebumps and all, and manually turned it off. This happened one other time on its own, and I have no idea what could’ve caused it.
I still shudder at the thought that it could’ve started a house fire without us knowing why or how.
I have one too that i cant explain.
I was at a friends house and we were watching tv, sitting completely still and being silent. Suddenly the lid of a metal cup (that was standing on a shelf above the TV) flied straight up, hit the ceiling with a loud bang, then came down again, and hit the floor in front of us. Naturally we were very spooked.
We were looking for some explanation but couldnt find any reason this would happen. It was alot of force coming from nowhere.
Made me open minded when it comes to these things.
Thermal expansion / contraction?
Cup was empty, nothing inside except room temperature air.
Best I can do is when I got off the train at 8:30 to arrive at work the 9:00. The walk from the train station to the office was 15 minutes, I arrived at 10:15. How the hell did that happen?
Obviously, the only rational explanation is that you were abducted by aliens. They beamed you up, experimented on you, wiped your memory, and sent you back down. It’s the only rational explanation. Or maybe it was the devil. The literal devil. The guy with the horns and pitch fork. Again, the only rational explanation!
A clock was wrong. Or you’re bad at reading clocks? Or you’re asleep and this is all a dream?
DST or you fell asleep and went a whole extra lap
daylight savings?
A few years ago I went out drinking with friends. We had a great time, and everything seemed completely normal. We eventually parted ways and I headed home, and somehow there was a creepy atmosphere in the air. I still don’t know what exactly it was. I looked through my apartment and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, so I basically fell on my bed and passed out.
When I woke up the next morning, a shiver went down my spine as I noticed that during the night, a ghost took a shit in my pants.
