I know a guy who can get the job
Generally speaking in America it’s very difficult to obtain custody of a corpse after the authorities have it in their possession. While there are many types of funeral options viking burials are not one. Regular fire does not burn hot enough to fully burn a human body, which is why cremation uses special equipment. Generally nobody wants partially burnt corpses in their river, so you’re either going to be illegally polluting or going to international waters. Generally you’ll need to convince some combination of funeral director, medical examiner, coroner, hospital director, and the police to give you custody of the body. It seems unbelievable to me that you’ll be able to convince all those people to give you a body for a viking funeral
On to illegal ways you could accomplish this: not reporting a dead body is not only a crime but also makes you incredibly suspicious for fraud at a minimum and murder at the max. Not acquiring a death certificate will make dealing with any estate very difficult. Stealing the body from wherever it is located will likely get you charges for defacing a dead body. You could bribe some people to look the other way but if that fails that’s also a crime
In short, no you can’t really do it. However, this is America, so presumably with enough money to the right people you could probably work it out. But we’re talking .01% level money and connections
I want to be slung away by a war machine. They should wait until I’m a bit stiff so my ballistic properties would be better.
Based on some of the legal and technical aspects of what people have said here, I wonder if it might still capture some of the essence of what you’re trying for, to do a proper cremation and then have the ashes poured into a boat, possibly in a fancy or ceremonial way, that is then burned. Or the ashes could be in a burnable urn and placed into the boat.
I think there’s a lot that you could do with staging and design that would allow the event to have very similar gravitas despite the lack of a full body.
So you want to die in a burning boat‽ While some countries in Europe allow for assisted suicide, I don’t think any allow for self immolation while at sea.
Now if you’re looking for a viking funeral procession after your death, I would think environmental regulations would be the biggest hurdle.
Not suicide, cremation at sea
OP said die and I’m going to take him at his word 😉
I would like a traditional burial but I want to be shot from a human canon into the grave. I wish you luck in your endeavors.
Johnny Depp paid for Hunter Thompson’s ashes to be fired out of a cannon mounted on a giant fist to explode over the valley. Note that I said ashes. Even super rich celebrities had to have the body cremated first.
Did he want to be fired without being cremated? I can’t imagine someone wanting to be splattered everywhere lol
Are you familiar with his work? But no he acknowledged in life that he would have to be cremated first.
Just remember, if someone offers you drugs, take them.
I like this. Don’t scatter my ashes. Scatter my viscera mist into the air.
At point blank range?
I’ve seen these barbeque boats floating around tourist spots. They have a grill in the center, seats all around and a driver steers them while they cook and eat. So you get one of those, “accidentally” spill some lighter fluid all over and have a pack of hot dogs for a cover story. After that, it’s as simple as lighting the grill and riding the flames to valhalla.
He said viking funeral not hibachi funeral.
I’m sure you can just rent a boat and set it off yourself. Starting a fire than will burn up a boat is probably the easiest part. But hey man, keep your head up. Things will get better.
Put your boat in the middle east somewhere. Place various flags on it, usa israel iran lebanon etc. Someone will for sure light you up.
Depends on if you own a boat.
Just do it yourself. Gotta time it juuuuuust right
I was a funeral director and got this question a lot.
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That’s not how vikings had funerals. The only Norse who had that type of send off is Baldr, son of Odin, in Norse mythology. Real Norse were cremated or buried. Important people had huge burial mounds since they’d be buried with a lot of their possessions. In reality, if you burned a boat with a body on it, the result would be a charred decaying corpse floating back to land in a day or two. A ship doesn’t have enough wood to completly burn a body and bacteria in decaying dead bodies produce gas which causes dead bodies to float.
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It is possible to “bury at sea” depending on the area. The Canadian government charges a significant amount for a permit to do so and it comes with a lot of conditions like a weighted and sealed casket and being dropped far enough from the shoreline. I’ve heard they make the process as difficult and costly as possible as a way to discourage the practice. However, there are no restrictions on scattering cremated remains at sea!
Since this answer is the least fun, it MUST be the most correct.
It is known.
So say we all.
Also cites a source, and seems well thought out
That’s not how science works.
Science might be a loophole.
Can’t people donate their bodies to specific scientific endeavors?
It might just need to be framed as an experiment.
A curious fact about Vikings is that they had legendary weapons imbued with the spirit of great fallen warriors which were stronger than any other weapon at the time. They had a ritual in which they would burn the body of their fallen warriors in the fires of the smelter while making weapons to “imbue” their spirit into it, what happened was that the carbon from the body they were burning formed an alloy with the iron of the weapon, making a crude form of steel in a time we’re everyone had iron weapons.
Gotta be honest here, that sounds like some Ancient Aliens shit… is it a fact or a “fact” you’re sharing? Have any links to reputable sources of information?
I don’t see why it would be hard to accept that someone could make a carbon iron alloy using carbon and iron. But in any case in this link there are multiple sources, an archeology book and a scientific paper, of these claims https://bigthink.com/hard-science/norse-rituals/
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In what country??
America. You know like someone dowsing my body in gas putting my body on a raft and shoot a flaming arrow at me.
I don’t think that would be environmentally friendly.
Heavily depends on the jurisdiction that applies to you when you die. People will be better able to help you if you disclose that.
I assumed international waters. I don’t think the home jurisdiction matters
Then OP has to die in international waters. And I think ships usually count as part of the country they are registered in. So if you die on a cruise ship it still counts like dieing in that ships owner country. And its not trivial to move a corpse out of a country, there are laws about that. So the country they plan to die in very mutch matters.
Even international waters (or, as I just googled, the “high seas”, as is the more appropriate term) have laws. Usually you are subject to the laws of the ship’s flag state.
so, you’re still alive and want do die burning on a boat?
takes a lot of discipline not to jump in the water i guess 🤔
also, who cares if it’s legal. they’re not gonna put your corpse in jail.
I am not planning on suicide but was thinking about how my dad got cremated and then thought about Thor’s moms funeral. Which I thought would be a cool way to go out.
Not the corpse, but those who helped him.
You don’t really need help for this.
- Punch tree
- get wood
- make a crafting table
- build boat
You get the idea.
okay but getting the flint is a pain in the ass
Depends… are we playing Minecraft or Valheim?
Too bad being dead gives the −100% strength debuff.
[Edit:] Sorry, I didn’t realize that this was the thread that took “die in funeral” part literally.
