Like this:

But replace “Hawaii” with your location.

🙃

  • superkret@feddit.org
    62·
    12 days ago

    At my current location, I’d expect it to be an error, since I’m about 1500 miles away from the nearest worthwhile target (Chilean Antartica Region).

  • jordanlund@lemmy.world
    282·
    12 days ago

    Nothing. Everyone is going to get the same alert and freak the fuck out, clogging all the roads, making it impossible to get to a shelter.

    I have 2 choices:

    1. Center of my cinderblock house and hope for the best.

    2. Submerged in the hot tub and hope for the best.

  • MissJinx@lemmy.world
    6·
    11 days ago

    Ha we don’t have text alerts in my country! I would die happy and ignorant in my pretty toilet

    • Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world
      2·
      10 days ago

      Technically it’s not a text message here either. The government literally overrides your phone to play the alert. Unless your phone is turned off it will play the message.theyve tested it a couple of times now. It’s pretty unsettling.

  • Bytemeister@lemmy.worldEnglish
    431·
    12 days ago

    I do the same thing for a missile alert that I do for a tornado alert…

    Film it from my front porch as it gets uncomfortably close, while my wife screams in the background for me to get back in the house.

  • satans_methpipe@lemmy.world
    13·
    12 days ago

    My phone is usually dead, misplaced, or the volume is at 0%. So I would probably crack a beer and stand on the porch wondering why the neighbors are freaking out.

    • Atemu@lemmy.ml
      9·
      11 days ago

      You will likely still hear the cell broadcast. Alerts of this level make every phone give off a piercing sound and even if your phone is dead, you will hear it from your neighbours’ because it’s loud.

    • FleetingTit@feddit.org
      3·
      11 days ago

      If your phone and early warning systems support cell broadcasting you will still get notified. Cell broadcast alarms are always at full volume, regardless of your settings.

      • satans_methpipe@lemmy.world
        2·
        11 days ago

        I’ve done my best to disable all emergency alerts on my mobile device with the stock OS. Time will tell I suppose.

        Edit: ah balls, you’re right. Android says the ‘national alert’ category can’t be turned off.

        • grysbok@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
          2·
          11 days ago

          Same boat, after I got a series of very loud “flash flood” alerts going late into the night. Every time the timeframe was extended there was another alert. I did not fancy being woken up at 2 am in my second floor bedroom to a alert telling me to stay off the roads.

  • Raiderkev@lemmy.world
    22·
    11 days ago

    My wife’s cousin actually got this text while on vacation in Hawaii. Said he just sparked up a joint n hoped for the best. It worked, so maybe I’ll do the same.

  • PetteriPano@lemmy.world
    5·
    12 days ago

    I live in a shithole 100km from a NATO capital. I’m not expecting a direct or near hit, so the fallout is my main concern. I should have at least 20-30 minutes to get comfy.

    I’ve got potable water in jugs in the basement already. I’ll just grab a couple of mattresses, sleeping bags, camping stove, food, solar/crank radio and head down there. Also some duct tape to seal up the ventilation.

  • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
    5·
    10 days ago

    I am “lucky” enough to live within a few miles of a place I’m pretty sure would be a ground zero in an all out nuclear attack. I live in a university town. And the university I attend has a nuclear engineering program along with an accompanying research reactor. In any all-out nuclear exchange, anything related to nuclear technology is at the top of the target list. A facility that trains new nuclear engineers is definitely on the target list. We’ve actually talked about this. If we get this message, our plan is to round up the cats, throw then in the car, grab every mind altering substance we can get our hands on, and go get wasted outside the front gate of the reactor building. We won’t try to break into the building or anything; the alert could always be in error and we don’t need a felony for trying to break into a nuclear facility on our records. But when hydrogen bombs are involved, the front gate of the reactor building is close enough to ground zero to do the job.

    Sorry, but there are indeed fates worse than death. For one, we would be unlikely to survive the initial bombing anyway. But most people have this idea that you’ll get vaporized by a bomb. That’s not how these things actually work. If you’re killed in the first hour by the bomb, odds are it will be from being slowly cooked alive in the burning collapsed remnants of your own home. And sure, we could drive out into the country, but that would only ensure that we would die slowly from fallout induced radiation sickness, slow starvation after the complete collapse of all supply chains, or worse.

    Trust me. If that alert comes, the ones close enough to ground zero to be atomized will be the lucky ones. This is something that you do not want to survive. I would encourage anyone that if they ever get that alert, to try to travel as close to whatever you think is your most likely ground zero as possible. You’ll be doing yourself and your loved ones a favor. Unless you’re already an off-grid survivalist type living in a self-sufficient compound way outside of any blast or fallout zone, all you’re doing by escaping the blasts is stretching out your own misery. Do you and yours a favor by making it quick and painless.

    On another note, Happy New Year!

    • Boddhisatva@lemmy.world
      4·
      10 days ago

      You sound a lot like Dr. Falken from Wargames.

      I’ve planned ahead. We’re just three miles from a primary target. A millisecond of brilliant light and we’re vaporized. Much more fortunate than millions who wander sightless through the smoldering aftermath.

      • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
        41·
        10 days ago

        I mean, it’s not an irrational stance. Better to thoughtfully and rationally consider it and plan accordingly.

        Really, it’s another manifestation of that whole, “which would your rather meet alone in the woods, a lone man or a lone bear.” A lot of guys simply couldn’t understand why most women would take the bear. But the worst the bear is going to do is eat you. And there are many fates worse than death.

        • Boddhisatva@lemmy.world
          3·
          10 days ago

          Oh, I wasn’t meaning to suggest you were wrong. I’ve actually feel that Falken’s statement there makes perfect sense. Falken only goes wrong when he refuses to act to stop WW III on the assumption that since it’s going to happen eventually, why not now?

    • Aksamit@slrpnk.net
      1·
      10 days ago

      Why do the cats get put in the car? Are you bringing them with you and driving to the gates of the reactor to get high, or?

      • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
        4·
        10 days ago

        I mean, I’m not going to leave the cats to die in a collapsing burning house either. If I think being vaporized is the best possible fate for myself, why would I deny that mercy to my cats? And yes, in case it’s not clear, we’re driving to the reactor gates, with the cats in the car. They’re joining us for the blast. They’re going with us.

        The plan is: grab cats and mind altering substances -> load up car -> drive to reactor ->park in front of gates -> get out of our minds, pet the cats tell bombs fall.

        • Aksamit@slrpnk.net
          21·
          10 days ago

          Ah, that makes more sense. Apologies for the confusion, I don’t live in a car centred place.

  • steeznson@lemmy.world
    7·
    11 days ago

    I’m all prepared to host a NYE party so would probably be like the This is the End frat pack movie.