My wife asked for this. Lol
I’ve definitely let my wife write her name.
I think I’m gonna just cut out my eyes
I do this alone for fun.
Stay back, cum walls. This is a piss ceiling house.
That’s the old Johnson house. Most folks don’t go near. Mind the glory holes in the wall, you hear.
They’re load bearing walls.
Oh don’t touch that. That’s a load bearing cum stain.
You cut out your eyes for fun?
Melon baller
Why tho? That was such a tame post
Preschool Memes need to die, you can say ‘dick’ on the internet for fuck’s sake!
His flacid dick is big enough for her to hold?
Boy… Do I have some bad news for you sir…
I think it’s average when erect. I ain’t really worried about it either way. Guess I set myself up for that.
You’re not a shower (showwer?) you’re a grower.
Honestly seems like the better deal. Have that thing out of the way during day to day.
I knew a fellow with an over 7" penis when erect. When flaccid, it kind of went… Back in a little, like a belly button. A pubic button if you will.
You’re right not to worry about flaccid size.
Do you have the heart? I feel like someone should say something, but I’m no good at this kind of conversation.
I am grateful that, in 24 years of marriage, this has never been an issue that has come up between my wife and I.
I’m going for a piss
Oh yeah, want some help with that?
Aloud.
Maybe she should try more quietly.
Yeah, that made my brain short out for a second. :p
It never stops being scary seeing adult and married people unable to do things you expect children to get right.
Ehhhh, I dawnt reely no if it matters to much. Wut reely matters is that a purson can bee under stood. Thats the point of langwege.
I no a man hoo rites like this and calls PayPal pay pow, but he is a numbers jeenyus hoo duz complex calculashins n his hed like yoo hav nevur seen.
He can’t spell his damn name to save his life, but he’s a genius in ways that constantly blow me away. He draws complex diagrams by hand of every system he builds by hand. If anyone were ever to work behind him on something they’re very familiar with, they’d have to tear it all down and rebuild it because he just invents his own way as he goes. He has no real education either. I can’t imagine what kind of powerhouse he could be if he’d ever been afforded a chance to really learn.
I’d trade my abilities with written language for his skills any day.
Why did I read that first paragraph in Canadian accent
If anyone were ever to work behind him on something they’re very familiar with, they’d have to tear it all down and rebuild it because he just invents his own way as he goes
That’s not the virtue you think it is.
Eh, he’s a millionaire. Must be something to it. He’s 68 now and has started selling his stuff off. The new owners have been calling me for months because I’m the only person who knows how to deal with it other than him.
He truly is a genius. Like anyone else, he has his flaws, but I’m telling you, he’s brilliant and his work is brilliant.
In all of the years he has ran his businesses he never called an outsider in. He learned to program machines that people are paid hundreds of dollars an hour to program and repair despite being functionally illiterate. I’d say there’s virtue in his work.
On top of all of that, has taken care of his employees. He isn’t perfect, but if someone works for him and their car breaks down, it gets repaired on his account. If it can’t be repaired, he goes to a car auction and buys them a car on his own time after inspecting it from top to bottom to make sure it’s good enough.
I’ve had my problems with him AND his work over the years, but overall I definitely think that his skill is the virtue that I think it is. I envy him, in a positive way.
I read your first paragraph before giving up. You can’t be understood if people give up communicating with you entirely.
You’re better than me. I didn’t even make it through the first sentence before I collapsed the comment and moved on lol.
Good for your. Pat yourself on the back and feed your ego.
They need to eat, after all.
Well, that’s on you. You’re allowing yourself to be upset over such a small thing and missing (I feel) a very valuable point.
That’s your ego, like it or not.
I dont understand how you dont question a jpeg. A child made this meme. It did not happen.
Now if it were a png, thats a good source. Theres a lot more transparency.
This comment made me remove both my femurs.
I kinda wanna cut off my thighs too after reading that
When you hear a real knee slapper and your aim is slightly off.
the children yearn for the mememines
I thought they used audio recognition or something
Tried this once, wife’s aim was terrible. Was years ago, may try again at some point XD
To be fair to your wife, we have been practicing with it since we were toddlers.
Oh for sure. I was not expecting bullseye aim I’m able to get, but I wasn’t expecting it to be several feet off course lol.
As an aside to other replies in this, it very much is a learned skill. Having potty trained my son, it’s a skill very taken for granted. I think most men are able to piss in the dark without making any or very little mess. Especially in their own home(house layout familiarity akin to a blind person).
Standing to pee is a learned skill. Trans guys who buy a stand to pee device are all recommended to practice in the shower first.
It certainly is! That’s really interesting. I didn’t even consider how transitioning changes the way one would use the toilet. I can totally see needing to practice in the shower with the device.
I can definitely see why it would be harder than the real thing. Also didn’t know that existed, link (NSFW) pretty cool.
Are you just supposed to carry that around with you everywhere? Do you wash it in the sink after every use? If I were a trans man I think I would just use a stall.
Most of us just use a stall and don’t bother with a STP. But the shake it off and stick it back in your underwear move is the move with these things, and it’s about as gross as when the cis guys do it, lol.
And she’s only getting half of the controls with no coordination between the two. She doesn’t know how strong of a stream you’re giving her and you can’t adjust it based on where she plans to point your dick.
You’re quite the piss scientist I see!
pissing all by yourself, handsome?
Not anymore.
I’d probably try outside if I was going to let a woman try to hold it and aim, otherwise they’re gonna miss from just piss-poor aim or I’d start getting hard and that would make it even harder to aim.
Yeah the shower is a much easier solution
Golden? Only if they’re into that kind thing
No I mean take a regular shower and let her stand behind you and hold your wee wee while you pee pee.
… Didn’t think I needed to spell it out.
🛁
my prostate would switch to happy mode and probably wouldn’t be able to pee
It’s difficult but not impossible
You can cheat by doing it right after ejaculation.
Hard Mode
The competition is stiff.
You woodn’t think it’s possible
But urine it to win it
As long as you can maintain a steady stream of ejaculate, it’ll feel the same for her.
Wrong community, this is shitposting, you want pissposting. Maybe even vintagepissposting…
You’re free to repost to pisspost this shitpost
I like how they censor the “C” in dick so it’s just “DIK”
I found that funnier than the whole rest of it lol
dik was an animation studio once upon a time
I instantly heard it. DEEK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05hTBAOnDQE Relevant cyanide and happiness
My friend had this little electronic twenty questions game. You would think of any object, animal, whatever and it would guess it very accurately. If your word was penis it would figure it out and guess dik-dik. That shit was hilarious to me.
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Dick
She is a keeper
I don’t like giving myself golden showers
And i can respect that (i think)
