I have heard from multiple people that eye contact is essential in letting a girl (or guy, I guess) know you’re interested.

But what is the 411 when it comes to said eye contact? Do you keep looking until she does? Do you then keep staring? Or is like looking at the sun? What’s the deal?

  • Hikermick@lemmy.world
    6·
    2 days ago

    There are plenty of videos out there on body language or “non verbal communication”. A common one which i picked up on long ago and to myself referred to as “the uppy/downy” look is what you want. It’s a clue someone MIGHT be into you when they make eye contact, look away (usually down), then make eye contact again. Allegedly they are checking you out, looking away, then looking to see if you’re still looking. It’s fair to say it works both ways.

    • JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee
      4·
      1 day ago

      As far as I know I’m not autistic, but hate eye contact and just kinda decided to not worry about it? Eye contact is cultural anyway, and in some countries it’s unusual or rude so I guess I just decided it’s not that important to me. That’s one option!

      But for practical advice on improving if that’s what you want to strive for I find it’s easier to practice with someone you’re comfortable with. Looking between their eyes while talking casually. Not like staring, but reminding yourself to look up occasionally during conversation. And increasing the length of time you hold eye contact until it’s uncomfortable and look away. It’ll become more natural to you over time :)

      There’s also videos available on YouTube that are for practicing eye contact but I found them creepy. My mistake was probably smoking weed beforehand, so maybe don’t do that!

      Best of luck to you!

  • Moops@lemmy.worldEnglish
    63·
    3 days ago

    The trick is to never look away. Stare till they notice, then keep staring. Have to get up to use the restroom? Maintain eye contact as long as possible and reestablish it the moment you’re back in sight. If they get up, the responsibility to maintain that eye contact is on you. Make sure to stay within eyesight, following them if necessary. This is your chance, we’re rooting for you!

    • tpihkal@lemmy.world
      15·
      3 days ago

      In the US, 411 was/is a phone number you could call for “information”, specifically directory assistance. Many carriers no longer offer it.

    • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
      51·
      3 days ago

      411 is number I think they post on high ways when people don’t know where to find what they need in the area.

  • Shardikprime@lemmy.world
    30·
    1 day ago

    First you need to approach in a non threatening way. Ideally, by shouting “I am bigger and stronger than you! If I wanted you dead, you’d be by now!”

    That way they know you are NOT a threat

    If possible, make them feel secure by brandishing a weapon of any kind. That way they know they WILL be safe near you

  • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
    7·
    2 days ago

    My opinion is that nothing insincere works, and you’d better find that interest inside yourself and allow it to guide you. Even if you won’t manage a lot of eye contact.

    But admittedly I have a diagnosis and I don’t have a girlfriend.

    • Skeezix@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      2 days ago

      find that interest inside yourself

      I looked in my asshole but found something else entirely. Where is can I look? What other spot can I pick?

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
    6·
    3 days ago

    There’s a song:

    “I was looking back to see if she was looking back to see if I was looking back at her”

    And also an Islamic proscription against looking twice at a person of opposite sex since it signals interest.

    So at least one sort of look that signals interest is the looking again. I also think the kind of sideways look with a smile is good.

    Do not go for intense and smoldering. That is some sort of advanced level shit that we civilians cannot manage, it will go wrong.

  • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
    232·
    3 days ago

    The idea is that y’all both Exchange a glance long enough to both notice, short enough to not creep each other out. A subtle smile to seal the deal.

    Then go say hi to confirm.

    If you feel awkward at any point either you suck or the answer is no, that’s where the real skills is at IMHO

      • NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world
        2·
        2 days ago

        Not OP but I’ll often rework what I’ve written and sometimes a word that was the start of a sentence is no longer the start, but fuck, doing it all on mobile can be a pain in the ass and I don’t always notice or bother to correct it.