For example, Marmite Crumpets don’t exist. You cannot buy them at the supermarket. To be clear: you can buy crumpets, you can buy marmite, you can buy butter; but you have to assemble them at home.
If you walk into a breakfast cafe, they will happily serve you sausage / egg / bacon / french toast / bubble / squeak (whatever that is). But no marmite crumpets. If you ask them to make it, they will give you a very strange look. It’s not typically offered. It’s something you just have to make at home.
It is unbuyable. Any tourist who comes to the UK to try a Marmite crumpet would need to bring a toaster or an oven with them, or quickly befriend a brit and hope that they have all the ingredients at home.
It’s not a secret. You just can’t have it.
*munches into crumpet thoughtfully, and salivates at the juicy savory delight, whilst staring at you pityingly and condescendingly*
Anyway, what’s something that I could never experience unless I made it myself in your local?
Coffee. I used to be a coffee fiend, I drank up to 12-13 cups a day, and only stopped because it was worsening my anxiety. I live in a coffee producing country and learnt how to make a good cup in an espresso machine, even got all the doodads to make the process standardized and get the exact same cup every time.
I can only drink coffee made by select hands now. Everything else tastes like jet fuel, and it’s worse when travelling.
Outside of the caffeine and kidney stone issues you must’ve been peeing every 30 minutes
Pretty much, lol
That sounds like an intense relationship you have with coffee. I have to admit, 2-3 a day and I get palpatations and am unable to sleep. I rarely drink it for the flavour
Oh I needed it for college. I was impatient and pushed myself too hard during my last 2 years, some weeks I slept fewer than 10 hours collectively.
I’ve since cut it almost entirely, and because of that my usual cup gives me the jitters. I still love coffee and would like nothing more than having one in the morning and one in the afternoon, but my body can’t take it anymore (nor can my mental health honestly). Aging sucks, lol.
I make sure to never get attached to one brew so I can drink it anywhere, anytime. I’ll drink instant without hot water if I need to (and not just frappe.)
That’s… Probably not a bad idea, lol. I got too used to good things.
Don’t ever, under any circumstances, drink motorway service station coffee in France. It tastes like battery acid even if you’re used to shitty coffee.
Or america. Non specialty shops sell the worst cups I’ve ever had, and I’ve been to bottom of the barrel shops where I live.
The sad thing is that it is buyable but not in places below like 200k population. In Europe idk how far third wave type coffe got everywhere else but I’d imagine in international cities it’s largely available all over the world.
It’s frankly insane how different a specialty coffe place is from a Caffe. And how many specialty coffe places there are in big cities/ university towns.
The provinces seem to not be able to sustain good coffe unfortunately. Unless there is someone who doesn’t care about the balance sheet.
Maple Walnut ice cream seems to be impossible to find in stores outside of New England
Widespread in Germany.
Send it here!
Lots in Canada
Boiled children’s feet
- Chip Butty
- Crisp Sandwich made with Sandwich Spread.
horrific, you get a pass
I had a fish finger sandwich for lunch in a pub near Inverness last month, it was delicious.
Are hotels in the UK not equipped with toasters?
No, just a shitty kettle.
you love the sweet plastic taste and you know it!
You’re supposed to wash it out after you shit in it
I would never. The next guest would want to savor my peaty aroma and be awed.
Decent fitting clothes with deep pockets and quality fabrics with the colors i like
I feel like that’s something only few people could actually make
True, but it’s an important reason for many people to start to learn how to make their own clothes. It takes effort, but one can learn how to do this. And it used to be a very common skill. With today’s junk on the market, we have a good enough reason to start learning.
I patch my old socks with older socks, if that helps. And I fix armpit tears with a rough stitch. That’s about it.
I can sew, but finding decent fabrics is hard. Back in the 70s I made all my own clothes and I can still remember some of the fantastic fabrics I used: a ming blue paisley sateen cotton; a red denim (for a duffel jacket with a toning floral for the hood lining); a soft purple lightweight wool; a dark green raw silk; glorious Chinese rayon florals in rich colours. So much choice!
I dont understand why Jeans dont usually have deep pockets. Like who is designing this shit.
But they do?
I had to buy a lewis pair because tall people doesn’t exist, and my stuff gets lost in the pockets.
To be fair, my monoprix jeans pockets are exactly 1/2 smartphone deep.
Me neither; after all, complaints about pockets are around everywhere. But at least i’ve learned how to deepen existing pockets. Next step will be how to create pockets
I’ve only ever found one zip-up hoodie with decent insulation and pockets deep enough that my phone won’t fall out of them if I’m not careful, and you better believe I’m taking good care of it.
I had the same issue until I discovered MTailor. It’s all I wear now. A bit more expensive but totally worth it.
Speculoos and jelly sandwiches. It’s possible they serve that in Europe somewhere, but you could never find that served in the US.
I’d like to be proven wrong though.
Speculoos
That sounds like a belgian thing. It’s gingerbread dust?
Sorry for not being clear, I meant the speculoos butter spread, most commonly Biscoff butter.
Chunky speculoos spread and strawberry spread is the way to go. I need to try it on brioche one of these days.
Ah yeah. I bought a jar of that once, and it’s uh, still in the cupboard as I’ve found the taste just too strong
Food I want to eat
Batmobiles. Lots of companies sell Batmobile toys, no companies sell Batmobiles.
You’re just not looking hard enough. This was the first hit when I searched.
But those are all custom builds and don’t fulfill the definition of being possible to “buy ready made” given by OP.
When you’re right, you’re right.
Bake him away toys.
Some cafes will do it - not as standard, but a few - maybe try the ones trying to be 1-up from a greasy. https://seahousescafe.co.uk/the-breakfast-menu
As will many hotel breakfasts, there’s often little single serving marmite things in with the single serving jam packets. I’d say about half the hotels i’ve stayed in with decent cooked breakfast have had it on offer.
I’ve also seen it in little roadside food van / trailer type things too.
Anyway, you want sainsbury’s yeast extract instead of marmite, it’s way gloopier and nicer tasting.
sainsbury’s yeast extract
It just sounds wrong but I’ll be on the lookout
The Cannibal Sandwich, which doesn’t actually use human flesh, but is also not a sandwich. Anyway, you take a slice of rye cocktail bread, spread on some raw, ground beef, then top it with some sliced onion, salt, and pepper. You can’t get it ready-made, because nobody likes e. coli or salmonella poisoning. In fact, you have to make special arrangements to get the beef ground by a butcher in a clean grinder, and pretty much eat it the same day.
Oh now that’s something I want to try
Like beef tartare on rye bread?
That sounds like something you need insane amount of trust to eat it, like tartare.
Trypophobia, apparently
The Marmite causes the eggs to hatch in your tummy 🤗
While you can go to a restaraunt/cafe and buy pancakes. I havent found a premade packet version that just needs warming up that isnt absolute shit.
Give me fresh or give me death!
Trader Joe’s has some fire freezer pancakes
Marmite Crumpets don’t exist
Yet you brought them into existence. May god have mercy on your soul.
I didn’t invent them. I was born into them, molded by them.
A Twinkie weiner sandwich.
- Cook a hot dog
- Slice a twinkie halfway through the bottom longwise to get something like a hotdog bun
- Insert the cooked hotdog into newly created bun
- Squirt easy cheese along the length of the hot dog
- Dip in milk
- Eat
Weird Al invented this in 1989 in his movie UHF and it’s still not available in stores for some reason
Sounds like something you could get at a state fair
I need to rewatch that movie (and seriously, how great of an actor is Weird Al?)
Isn’t a Twinkie partly chocolate?
You may be thinking of a ho-ho. Also made by Hostess.
Nah that’s a chocodile which is a chocolate covered Twinkie
For good reason. Wtf
Yeah some foods are too powerful for the general public to consume freely.
If I’m going to have a twinkie, I’ll grill it (or toss it in the air fryer I have to try that) just enough until it starts to caramelize on the outside
YES CHEF that sounds unironically delicious
it is. some friends in college were getting together around thanksgiving for a turkey roast. i’m allergic to turkey so I intentionally misheard them and showed up with a box of twinkies. a tradition was born that day.
